Legacy's Parent at Pledging/Initiation?

[naraht]

College student X is a Legacy of your GLO through their parent and receives a bid to pledge. X's parent lives in the local area and has been an alumni volunteer for the chapters in the area on and off for more than a decade including running seminars at conferences of the local chapters.

Should the chapter invite/welcome the parent to the pledging ceremony? Should the chapter invite/welcome the parent to the initiation ceremony? On both, should it be up to X?

[amIblue?]

What is your purpose in posing this question in such a generic way?

Wouldn't this be up to individual GLOs to determine for themselves and really none of your business if it isn't your GLO?

[33girl]

Well here's a generic answer

If parent would be invited/come to those things anyway in their volunteer role, then this shouldn't be any different.

If they wouldn't, it's up to X to ask. Parent-child relationships are a private thing. The chapter shouldn't assume or intrude.

[KDCat]

At my chapter, the parent or older sister usually skipped the pledging ceremony. If the NM and the relative wanted it, they were absolutely invitged to the initiation and participated in some small way, that didn't disrupt the ritual.

[Sen's Revenge]

Originally Posted by naraht

College student X is a Legacy of your GLO through their parent and receives a bid to pledge. X's parent lives in the local area and has been an alumni volunteer for the chapters in the area on and off for more than a decade including running seminars at conferences of the local chapters.

Should the chapter invite/welcome the parent to the pledging ceremony? Should the chapter invite/welcome the parent to the initiation ceremony? On both, should it be up to X?

I would not invite a parent to the pledging/first/beginning ceremony because I think it's important for X to begin their journey as an individual.

I would invite the parent to the initiation ceremony because by the end of the process, X should know how meaningful it is their they now share the bond with their parent.

Generally, the chapter should know whether this is something X wants without ruining the "surprise" if there is to be one. It's, of course, possible that they are not close to their parent and don't want them there, but the chapter should know that while getting to know X.

In my NPHC org, you have to be considered an active member who has gone through the risk management training in order to participate in or be present for initiation, so if the parent isn't active, it's really a moot point.

[ColdInCanada11]

We invite all alumnae to both events, so it would be up to the member to decide.

[Sciencewoman]

My answer would be "Absolutely!" If the legacy chose to pledge the same group as an actively involved parent, I doubt there'd be any parent-child animosity. I think the actively involved parent would expect to be invited to Initiation. I have never seen an issue with this -- it's always been a special moment and if there's any concern, ask the legacy first. The CP of the chapter I advise is the daughter of a Gamma Phi, and her younger sister also joined this fall. Mom was there for both initiations, and so were most of the older sisters or moms of the other legacies who joined this fall.

[Titchou]

We always invited the legacy connection to initiation. Pledging - no. Often the mother or sister will come as a surprise for the initiate. It's left up to them to decide if they want the initiate to know or not.

[AZTheta]

Pledging - no. Initiation - absolutely. What Titchou said.

[Benzgirl]

This same scenario just happened to a friend of mine. She emailed me to ask if she was permitted to go to pledging ceremony (yes, she is permitted); she said she planned to stand in the back as to not embarrass DD. Ultimately, she decided not to go since she felt this was DD's time to bond with the members.

Initiated Alumnae, particularly moms, grandmothers and sisters (or as Titchou called it, the legacy connection) are encouraged to attend.

[Kevin]

Alumni are welcome anytime we have any sort of ritual. In fact, our candidate (pledging) ritual is by far my favorite ritual. Short, blunt and to the point. And it's a great experience for our new members.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by Kevin

Alumni are welcome anytime we have any sort of ritual.

Ditto for us, though in my experience, pledging ceremonies tend to be chapter-only occasions. But not initiations. It's quite common for chapters to let not only their own alums but also alums of other chapters who live reasonably close by know when initiations will be held. It is also quite common to invite other chapters in the province to initiations.

[honeychile]

Pledging is usually down with hardly any notice, so I know of only in-house legacies whose connection was at the pledge ceremony.

However, I would be absolutely horrified if the legacy connection was not welcomed to the initiation!

[clemsongirl]

Although I agree that the question is worded oddly, I can answer this one personally for Alpha Delta Pi Legacy family members are absolutely invited to initiation, even when they technically would not be considered a "legacy" under our legacy policy: my chapter has aunts and cousins come and surprise their family members during the ceremony. I've told the story before so I won't repeat it, but my mom surprising me during my own initiation was one of the most moving moments of my life. Our pledging ceremony is fairly short, on the other hand, and I've never seen alumni invited to that.

[thetalady]

As an alumna, I participated in an important part of my younger sister's initiation ceremony. It was one of the favorite memories of my entire life. Her chapter welcomed me with open arms when I asked if I could be there.