Virgin Diaries

[Mevara]

Hey has anyone seen the show? The preview looked hilarious.

[knight_shadow]

I wanted to watch this, but then I saw the wedding kiss and decided against it *bleh*

[KSUViolet06]

SO AWKWARD.

I have a hard time with the "no kissing" concept.

I mean, I can't imagine how difficult/overwhelming it must be for some people to go from NOTHING to KISSING and SEX within 24 hours. That's a serious learning curve there. And how is that an ideal set up for a healthy marriage?

I dunno if you've ever had the opportunity to meet someone who was an evangelical who got married after "saving themselves", but for most, SEX = the holy grail. It's pretty much all they can think about. So they rush their relationships and engagements because ZOMGWTFSEXXXXX. Not realizing that after your 2.5 seconds of bliss with Suzie, you still have to be married to her forever.

Random virginity sidenote: is it really "saving yourself" if you meet, get engaged, and get married within a 6 month timeframe? And you're 18/19 years old. And many times have never actually dated anyone other than your fiance before getting engaged.

/hippie Christian rant.

[victoriana]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

SO AWKWARD.

I have a hard time with the "no kissing" concept.

I mean, I can't imagine how difficult/overwhelming it must be for some people to go from NOTHING to KISSING and SEX within 24 hours. That's a serious learning curve there. And how is that an ideal set up for a healthy marriage?

I dunno if you've ever had the opportunity to meet someone who was an evangelical who got married after "saving themselves", but for most, SEX = the holy grail. It's pretty much all they can think about. So they rush their relationships and engagements because ZOMGWTFSEXXXXX. Not realizing that after your 2.5 seconds of bliss with Suzie, you still have to be married to her forever.

Random virginity sidenote: is it really "saving yourself" if you meet, get engaged, and get married within a 6 month timeframe? And you're 18/19 years old. And many times have never actually dated anyone other than your fiance before getting engaged.

/hippie Christian rant.

I 1000% agree with this. Seriously. Took the words right out of my mouth.

[groovypq]

I don't get the no kissing either. Why is that something that needs to be "saved"?

And I just saw the first kiss clip on Conan. Ick.

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by groovypq

I don't get the no kissing either. Why is that something that needs to be "saved"?

.

I agree. I totally don't see anything wrong with kissing, either. I mean, there are all kinds of things couples can do with each other sexually without actually "doing the do".

[amIblue?]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

I agree. I totally don't see anything wrong with kissing, either. I mean, there are all kinds of things couples can do with each other sexually without actually "doing the do".

But that can get to the point of being only "technically" a virgin.

[Munchkin03]

Originally Posted by cheerfulgreek

I agree. I totally don't see anything wrong with kissing, either. I mean, there are all kinds of things couples can do with each other sexually without actually "doing the do".

...uhh, doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of waiting? Heavy petting, oral sex, and even anal sex* ARE SEX. Just because they don't make the babeez doesn't reduce their significance as sex acts. It's still an extremely intimate act with another person.

It seems like Christians are the craziest about this. I know plenty of Muslims and Orthodox Jews who didn't have sex before they were married...at all. There was kissing, but none of this "everything but, including up the butt" nonsense that Christians seem to come up with. There's this really weird shame about adult human sexuality. I don't think you'd just automatically shed it after marriage, either.

*I knew people who took those G-d awful chastity pledges and still had anal sex. Unprotected, of course, because only slutty sluts bring condoms and therefore PLAN to have sex.

[Cen1aur 1963]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

...uhh, doesn't that kind of defeat the purpose of waiting? Heavy petting, oral sex, and even anal sex* ARE SEX. Just because they don't make the babeez doesn't reduce their significance as sex acts. It's still an extremely intimate act with another person.

She didn't mention any of that which is why I asked. She could be talking about something different.

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

*I knew people who took those G-d awful chastity pledges and still had anal sex. Unprotected, of course, because only slutty sluts bring condoms and therefore PLAN to have sex.

There was a girl on 16 & Pregnant who signed one of those, then well, ended up on 16 & Pregnant. So you can see how effective they are in preventing what people say such contracts are designed to prevent. FAIL.


/abstinence only sex ed soapbox.

[thetaj]

Originally Posted by Munchkin03

It seems like Christians are the craziest about this. I know plenty of Muslims and Orthodox Jews who didn't have sex before they were married...at all. There was kissing, but none of this "everything but, including up the butt" nonsense that Christians seem to come up with. There's this really weird shame about adult human sexuality. I don't think you'd just automatically shed it after marriage, either.

I don't know, I feel like you're lumping together the extreme situations you've heard about and that you probably just haven't heard about the normal, healthy behaviors lots of Christian young adults have. Like I said before, I grew up southern baptist and NEVER had friends who were "everything but, including up the butt." I seriously can't name one person, and I went to a very large church. If anyone was, they would be true pioneers in the field as far as I know anyways.

(sigh) I'm just tired of people getting shit for their traditionally Judeo-Christian beliefs. EVERYONE is a hypocrite. EVERYONE. But these Christian teens get it thrown in their faces and it's not helping anyone.

[DrPhil]

For the record, since this thread is not just about the show, abstinence is not only a Christian thing.

Originally Posted by thetaj

I don't know, I feel like you're lumping together the extreme situations you've heard about and that you probably just haven't heard about the normal, healthy behaviors lots of Christian young adults have. Like I said before, I grew up southern baptist and NEVER had friends who were "everything but, including up the butt." I seriously can't name one person, and I went to a very large church. If anyone was, they would be true pioneers in the field as far as I know anyways.

The most interesting thing is that this topic isn't either/or. There are "lots of" Christian young adults around the world who are "everything but virgins" just as there are "lots of" Christian young adults around the world who are "normal, healthy virgins." This is all based on what these people have been taught is or is not appropriate.

Also, is it possible the "everything but, including up the butt" friends did not share that with the people they thought would ridicule them? When I was a teenager, the teenagers who were doing the sex, drugs, and drinking stuff would not have told me about it. I wasn't doing that stuff so I only hung with the other teens who weren't doing those things--and, if my friends were doing that stuff, they too would not have shared it with those of us who they thought would label them. I heard about a lot of stuff through listening to loud talking teen boys and girls telling their business and everyone else's business in homeroom, by the lockers, or at gym.

Originally Posted by thetaj

(sigh) I'm just tired of people getting shit for their traditionally Judeo-Christian beliefs. EVERYONE is a hypocrite. EVERYONE. But these Christian teens get it thrown in their faces and it's not helping anyone.

Uh...what?

[christiangirl]

^^^And not everyone who is an adult virgin (whether waiting for the "right person" or waiting until marriage) is a Christian or is doing so due to Christian values.

Violet, I'm not gonna pick apart your post but I notice that each of your points has more to do with the person/people involved in the pledge than something being wrong with the pledge (or concept of the pledge) itself.

Originally Posted by thetaj

I don't know, I feel like you're lumping together the extreme situations you've heard about and that you probably just haven't heard about the normal, healthy behaviors lots of Christian young adults have.

In the context of this thread, I would say this is happening moreso than "Christians getting sh*t." That either will happen or already has been happening a lot in response to this show outside of GC. But that is what happens when you take one particular group, portray it at its most extreme, and throw it out there for people to mock.

[Leslie Anne]

Yeah, that kiss was really nauseating.

I'm concerned that these couples might end up realizing down the road that they weren't really in love, they were in lust.

While I don't advocate sleeping around, I do believe that being sexually compatible is important to a long-term relationship. I personally reject the idea of pre-marital sex being a sin.

I'm not really interested in watching the show.

[ASTalumna06]

When I was in my early teens, my cousin got married. Most friends and family were staying in a hotel, and the bride and groom were leaving the following morning for their honeymoon. Soon after everyone had gone to bed, the fire alarm went off and everyone evacuated the hotel. I remember seeing my cousin, and she looked ill.. I had just assumed she wasn't feeling well because she was sick, or because she ate something earlier that caused her to feel nauseous.

It wasn't until a couple years ago that I found out from my mom the real reason she looked and felt so terrible - she "saved herself" for marriage and she was so nervous, she made herself sick over the whole thing.

I just think it's waaay too much pressure to put on one's self.