Friend Sex

AOPiLaLa · #1 11-15-2001, 03:33 PM

Well, since AlphaChiOMy put her question out there, I'll just add something on. Do you think 2 people who are friends can have sex and remain friends? Kind of like best friends with benefits? Or do you think one of them ultimately gets hurt? In my case, I think those kind of relationships can be okay, but the hard thing is you never get any defination to what you are and you never really know if its over or not. I did that kind of thing way to long with someone and I finally was like "I wish you were my boyfriend, so we could BREAK UP". Its over now and I am much happier! Anyone have opinions on friend sex?

IowaHawkeye · #2 11-15-2001, 03:50 PM

I refuse to go messing around with the whole "friends with benefits" situation - in my past experiences, one or both of you always get hurt, and the relationship is never the same.

If youre going to have a booty call - make them a booty call, not a friend

PKTSU01 · #3 11-15-2001, 03:50 PM

IMHO...there is NO WAY sex can enter a relationship and not mess it up at some point, even if both people are supposedly cool with it. I tried this with someone this past summer who I wasn't really good friends with before, and even then, stuff got weird, she got hurt and i felt like an asshole afterwards. Even if it is agreed upon that it will be sex and nothing attached to it, thats bullshit, humans aren't built that way. Yeah, even guys, unless they are comepletely heartless. That's a situation to just flat out avoid if possible cause besides myself, i've seen this type of thing become disastrous.

SigmaChiCard · #4 11-15-2001, 04:06 PM

Go back to being friends
But tonight let's be lovers,
We kiss and sweat
We'll turn this better thing
To the best

amycat412 · #5 11-15-2001, 04:12 PM

LOL Cory! That's EXACTLY what I was gonna type.

I've had friends with benefits that worked out fine. Sure at one time or another one of us may have been interested in more and made it a bit sticky, but it always worked out in the end. Am still friends with my friend with benefits that we had a six year relationship like that, ha ha. Been friends for 13 years and he's married now and we've been able to remain friends without benefits. I guess over the years I learned enough to either not get overly involved or walk away when it became clear it could go nowhere.

Its a hard thing to do, friends with benefits, and there are very few friendships that can handle it, but when they can--well, I am reminded of The Sure Thing

"No questions asked. No strings attached. No guilt involved."

kimmykimmy · #6 11-15-2001, 04:31 PM

My friend with benefits remained a friend for about 14 years. Then he got a girlfriend and I was so happy for him that he was happy. Then he married her and KEPT calling me. I of course knew that he was miserable in his marriage but told him I don't sleep with married men.

I have no feelings toward him and he doesn't have any feelings toward me. If he were to get divorced I would sleep with him in a minute. I only want him to be happy and wish him all the best.

I think you can totally have sex and not have any romantic feelings.

Dejajeva · #7 11-15-2001, 04:47 PM

lol
I had a friends with benefits thing and it worked perfectly.
Of course we never had sex..just...other things?
lol

I don't see why not.
I don't need to presently because I'm incredibly happy with jason.

Jess

KSigkid · #8 11-15-2001, 05:20 PM

Depends on how good the friend is, and how much you're willing to lose....

If it's a really really good friend, one of your better friends...I wouldn't chance it. I don't try the "friends with benefits" thing, because I've seen it blow up way too many times.

However, I've seen situations (and been in them myself) where I was friends with the person, and decided to take the risk. You've gotta be ready though if it turns out bad, because chances are, you're going to lose the friend.

damasa · #9 11-15-2001, 05:22 PM

Friends with benefits can work, if you know how to make it work. If it eventually turns into something more..there might be a problem..either make a relationship of it or try to go back to being friends. All I know is that right now..I don't even have benefits..let alone friends with them..lol...

d

Tom Earp · #10 11-15-2001, 06:22 PM

In a time of depression, we could all youse a little sympathy sex with No strings!

For a male, a good orgasim, it is equal to eight hours of hard labor!
Damn, I am putting on weight

Miami1839 · #11 11-15-2001, 10:33 PM

I dont think I could ever do that. It sounds like a great idea(sure thing) but I could see how you could get hurt easily in those situations. Especially if you loose control and you stop leading with your head.

James · #12 11-15-2001, 10:44 PM

Oh wow, give me ten or fifteen " friends with benefits" And I'll never date again! All the fun of hanging out with a cooll girl AND sex with none of the emotional baggage? Where do I put a downpayment on that? Sign me up in advance. lol. Bu seriously, in order for it to work the pattern of your relationship has to stay casual, if you spend too much time together or fall into a traditional boyfriend/girlfriend role, you are inviting someone to get hurt . . . because someone is almost always the limiting partner in any relationship.

SSS1365 · #13 11-15-2001, 11:10 PM

I had a friend with benefits, and now he's been my boyfriend for 1 year and 9 months! But our situation was weird because we met and were attracted to each other and we had a really strong bond, but we lived 3 hours apart (still do) and didn't want to try to make a long distance relationship out of it. But then he kept wanting to come and see me, and about the third time he visited, we slept together. Then he went back home and we didn't even speak to each other for like 2 weeks and of course I felt used. But then he ended up telling me he didn't care if it was long distance, he wanted to be with me, so here we are still makin' it work! And I can't wait till May when I graduate and we don't have to live far apart anymore!

Ummm... sorry, went on a tangent there

SH80er · #14 11-16-2001, 12:55 AM

I am from the old school, "friends with benefits" are totally disrespectful.

justamom · #15 11-16-2001, 08:10 AM

I know we are in the minority SH80er, but I'm with you on this.
I won't go into my personal moral issues.

Most have noted that it can be difficult to keep the emotions out of it. Most have stated that it is likely someone will get hurt.
Have I ever had this opportunity? Of course.
This is a true story-
You all know Bob Wuhl? He's on HBO's Arlis, he was my Hubby's roommate. I know/knew him well. Back in college we called him La Fong (I have NO idea why) Well, it was Christmas break and I had one of the last tests. Everybody was gone. So La Fong brings this VERY GOOD FRIEND up to the room. His name was Ace. Ace was a virgin...Everyone KNEW I was a virgin...and La Fong thought that the two of us should just take care of it.
So after his humorous introduction to the concept, he departed.
Well, Ace and I sat there for the longest time...I didn't know WHAT to say but just started laughing. I believe Ace really thought something would occur. I said Ace, just THINK about it!
He started laughing too. We went out for pizza...

He was killed 3 years later hitchhiking home to see his parents for Christmas. He was a dear friend.