Blacklisted

UofAgreek10 · #1 08-04-2010, 05:37 AM

Due to bullying from a couple of older girls that I worked with who didn't care for me from the start, they told me they had me blacklisted at the university I will be attending in the fall. I don't really know how to go about this or how to fix it, because I really did nothing to deserve this other than put of them nicely for months, and on my last shift they told me this. I want to know your opinion on how much it will affect my chances of pledging a sorority and how to handle this? I'm crushed that they're trying to ruin this opportunity for me on top of everything they've done..and I haven't done or said anything to them to retaliate. Please help ! :/

Nanners52674 · #2 08-04-2010, 08:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UofAgreek10

Due to bullying from a couple of older girls that I worked with who didn't care for me from the start, they told me they had me blacklisted at the university I will be attending in the fall. I don't really know how to go about this or how to fix it, because I really did nothing to deserve this other than put of them nicely for months, and on my last shift they told me this. I want to know your opinion on how much it will affect my chances of pledging a sorority and how to handle this? I'm crushed that they're trying to ruin this opportunity for me on top of everything they've done..and I haven't done or said anything to them to retaliate. Please help ! :/

I doubt that it's true, but on the off chance that it is there isn't much you can do about it. Your best strategy will be to go into recruitment with an open mind, put your best foot forward and just be yourself.

carnation · #3 08-04-2010, 08:24 AM

?? They can't officially get you released at any house except theirs and maybe not even theirs if other members don't listen to them. Even if they talk to people in other groups, they can't say that that got you "blacklisted" (I put the term in quotes because I've never heard it used in the Greek world).

FSUZeta · #4 08-04-2010, 09:48 AM

i agree with everyone else. please don't let them get to you and intimidate. i absolutely hate bullies, and that is just what the girls are. keep your cool, be friendly and interested at all the houses(even theirs), but understand that you might not be invited back to their house-are you sure they are actually in a sorority?

you have recs. to all the houses, right?

AXOrushadvisor · #5 08-04-2010, 10:54 AM

I think they are trying to continue bullying you by telling you that you are blacklisted. There is no way they control the greek system at school. Like other posters said you might get dropped at their Chapter, but they wont have control over other Chapters. You might want to talk to your Rho Chi when recruitment starts.

FSUZeta · #6 08-04-2010, 01:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by AXOrushadvisor

I think they are trying to continue bullying you by telling you that you are blacklisted. There is no way they control the greek system at school. Like other posters said you might get dropped at their Chapter, but they wont have control over other Chapters. You might want to talk to your Rho Chi when recruitment starts.

i had thought about telling her that, so i second your suggestion!!

33girl · #7 08-04-2010, 02:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FSUZeta

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i had thought about telling her that, so i second your suggestion!!

I'm afraid telling anyone in "authority" (including a Rho Chi) might backfire, esp if the Rho Chi turns out to be the sister of these girls. Girls talk, even if they're not supposed to.

tinytina10 · #8 08-04-2010, 10:54 AM

A similar situation happened with my very best friend going through recruitment. There were girls from her hometown that were awful to her in high school (all over some dumb boy) and just to torture her before recruitment told her that she was blacklisted. Though she was very nervous when it came time to visit their house the first day of recruitment, she felt fine after she realized a couple things:

1. They won't humiliate you - no active sorority member will be anything but courteous during recruitment events. It won't be mentioned, and they aren't all going to stare you down or be rude to you. They would risk other PNMs taking notice to the tension and getting a bad vibe from their sorority as a whole if they were seen giving dirty looks or anything like that.

2. The worst that could happen - So if they do have enough pull in their sorority the worst that would happen is you wouldn't get invited back to their house the next round. Honestly though, would you want to go back anyway?

3. If anything, they can only affect your chances in their sorority - Even if they have friends in other houses, them "not liking you" isn't going to hold any weight in all the other houses. Have recs for all the sororities, be charming, and try to stay positive!

Titchou · #9 08-04-2010, 11:46 AM

The old-fashioned term in Greekdom was "blackballed", not blacklisted so I really doubt they are doing anything other than blowing smoke.

carnation · #10 08-04-2010, 11:54 AM

Agreed. And that term mainly referred to fraternities in their own membership selection, certainly not the whole Greek system.

ellebud · #11 08-04-2010, 01:43 PM

The term "blackballed" came from an old fraternity membership tradition. John Doe's name came up and all the members had two marbles, one white and one black. A closed box was passed around the room and every member put in a marble, yes was white..and black was, obviously no. Depending on the organization, it could take one, two, or three black marbles to not receive a bid. Hence, the term "blackballed."

These girls a B****, with very little power. Yes, you might not get into their house (but who would want to if they have this much power in a house?), but there are others.

prettygirlie · #12 08-04-2010, 02:12 PM

If the girls bullied you, you're most likely not the first or only person they've ever been difficult with.

I have no experience with rushing, but in past life experience, people who know these girls will probably also know that they're hard to take. As long as you're sweet and yourself, I'm sure they're see right through the snarky attitude of those girls. And if they don't, then you know they might not be the friends for you! Good luck UofAgreek and keep your head up! (: we're rooting for you.

UofAgreek10 · #13 08-04-2010, 04:14 PM

At the University I'm attending, they use the term 'Blacklist' and throughout high school by hear say it seems to be a big deal, that's why I was so worried. And the girl was definitely in a sorority, but is not active anymore. But I was told she called her sisters.

But thank you for all the advice, I'm a lot less worried! And @33girl, I wasn't trying to imply I'm Greek, I'm just here to get information on Greek. Sorry if it's offensive!

ThetaPrincess24 · #14 08-04-2010, 04:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by UofAgreek10

At the University I'm attending, they use the term 'Blacklist' and throughout high school by hear say it seems to be a big deal, that's why I was so worried. And the girl was definitely in a sorority, but is not active anymore. But I was told she called her sisters.

But thank you for all the advice, I'm a lot less worried! And @33girl, I wasn't trying to imply I'm Greek, I'm just here to get information on Greek. Sorry if it's offensive!

An inactive member be it an inactive college member or alumna member isnt typically going to have the pull that an active member does. Inactive members and I'm assuming alumnae dont have a vote in the membership selection process I wouldnt think either.

FSUZeta · #15 08-04-2010, 04:21 PM

your name is fine.

as i said before, don't let her get to you. just be yourself, smile, be friendly and interested(even in that house)-as others have said, her opinion may not be valued at all by her sisters. even if it is, there are other sororities to consider.

i can tell you that in my day, we would not have put any weight in anything a member of another sorority said about a pnm-nor did we ever talk about rush or rushees at all with members of other groups. you never know if there is something personal going on between the pnm and the sorority girl, or if they are in love with her and want to do all they can to ensure that she pledges there.