Mystery Ghetto Theater 3000

Rain Man · #1 11-01-2001, 10:44 PM

Question:

How many of you have seen (or know of) Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K)? It is a two hour show where a man and two robots crack jokes at a horrible movie (You can tell it's MST3K because there is a movie theater silouette with the trio watching).

Well, how many of yall have seen one of those independent black movies that are so bad, you want to riff at it (or have someone else do it for you). Well, here is a list of movies I have seen that I would love to riff at:

Everybody Plays the Fool--a woman marries a sucessful author and then arranges to have him killed so she can get his money.

Lunatic--an escaped mental patient wreaks havoc in the woods on a group of teenaged campers.

Preacher Playa--Two con men open a church to get quick money (and naive women).

House Party 4 - A black ripoff of Ferris Buehler's Day Off featuring IMX (formerly Immature), Kym Whitley, and Buddy Lewis.

Inhumanity--a successful black lawyer is attacked and molested, and detectives Todd Bridges and Faizon Love is on the case to find the perpetrators--could the perp be right under the victim's nose?

Q - Brian Hooks arranges a secret barbeque party while his folks are away--can he sucessfully pull it off?

Nuthin' 2 Lose--Brian Hooks is under pressure from his girlfriend to marry her and learns the true meaning of commitment

Beverly Hood--a ghetto version of The Beverly Hillbillies featuring Kym Whitley and Buddy Lewis.

Get Down On It--Two ghettofabulous women make a bet on who can get married first. Yes, this movie is TRULY GHETTO!! A cinematic train wreck!!!

Have you seen any of these or know of a BAD movie as such?

Let us know!!!!

Ms. Jay · #2 11-02-2001, 01:22 PM

I've only seen 2 from your list:
House Party 4: Okay, I was looking for Kid-N-Play! I just knew this was the one where Kid and Sydney would get back together.

Nuthin' 2 Lose: Was alright, but could have been much better

tickledpink · #3 04-28-2002, 08:19 PM

Nothin' to Loose was horrrrible, I can't even watch the whole thing.

3 strikes
She's Gotta Have It
Leprechaun in the Hood (with Ice-T - horrrrrrrible)
Whatever that gangsta movie is with Big Pun... (I don't even know the name).
House Party 4 (- just let it go!)

AKA2D '91 · #4 04-28-2002, 08:25 PM

I saw
Nothing 2 Lose
Get Down on it, I think????
Beverly Hood

I've seen some others, but can't think of the name.

There was this one where Terrance Howard was in it and I think Glenn Plummer. They along with 2 other dudes were playing cards or something...I forgot, but that was horrible!

Some of those low budgets are okay. That's how I stumbled upon Trois and Uninvited Guest.

Rain Man · #5 04-29-2002, 10:05 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by AKA2D '91
I saw
Nothing 2 Lose
Get Down on it, I think????
Beverly Hood

I've seen some others, but can't think of the name.

There was this one where Terrance Howard was in it and I think Glenn Plummer. They along with 2 other dudes were playing cards or something...I forgot, but that was horrible!

Some of those low budgets are okay. That's how I stumbled upon Trois and Uninvited Guest.

The one with Terrance Howard and Glenn Plummer was called "Love Beat the Hell Out Of Me". I saw that one about a year ago.

Trois I liked b/c I saw the DVD version with the Directors Commentary by Producer William Packer and Director Rob Hardy. Because the two are about my age, their comments made the movie enjoyable--it was like watching it with the homies.

Uninvited Guest I gots to give props to b/c it was filmed here in Columbus, my hometown. I was told that more black films was going to be shot here in the future. But yes, it was an okay film.

Another MGT3K item to add to the list:

To Have and To Hold. A black couple on the brink of divorce must spend a weekend at a cabin in the woods without arguing in order to collect a $10 million inheritance. Can they do it?

I knew this movie was ghetto b/c the DVD had NO bonus features, not even a chapter index, so if you stop the DVD, you have to start the movie over again.

Rappin' and Rhyming: A white stockbroker become a summer school teacher for a group of inner-city black students and they are invited to a poetry exchange from an all-girls private school. Some of the poems discussed would make Walter Benton proud.

More items later.

RM

Ideal08 · #6 04-29-2002, 10:14 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Rain Man
I knew this movie was ghetto b/c the DVD had NO bonus features, not even a chapter index, so if you stop the DVD, you have to start the movie over again.

Now THAT is funny!!!! LOL!

txdiva · #7 04-29-2002, 11:12 AM

I couldn't get through Nuthin' 2 Lose either! It was ridiculous! 3 Strikes was just D-U-M-B!!! Leprechaun 4 was horrible!!! But that doesn't beat the absolute worst ghetto movie: "Barbecue"!!! Why did I rent that mess?

Rain Man · #8 04-29-2002, 01:17 PM

Some more entries:

Any Jamaa Fanaka movie, which includes:

Soul Vengence (aka Welcome Home Brother Charles). A newly released convict murders his victims using his "manhood" due to experiments suffered while in prison.
(Note: I have not seen this, but it is available at my video store. It is only in VHS, not DVD and I need to get my VCR fixed).
This movie was directed by Fanaka during his undergraduate stint at UCLA.

Emma Mae (aka Black Sisters Revenge). A naive Mississippi girl gets involved with a knucklehead boyfriend while visiting relatives in Los Angeles (Compton to be exact). This was Fanaka's master's thesis while at UCLA.

The Penitentiary trilogy. Leon Issac Kennedy (Too Sweet) gets incarcerated for a murder he didn't commit and becomes a boxer to get his freedom and keep his dignity.
Part 1 - In prison and fights Jesse "the Bull" Amos for his freedom and Half Dead (Badja Djola) to keep his "dignity"

Part 2 - Out of prison as a parolee and fights Half Dead (now played by Ernie Hudson) in revenge for the rape and murder of his girlfriend. Half Dead escaped from prison and vowed to kill Too Sweet Too Sweet thus comes out of retirement from boxing and rematches Jesse "the Bull" Amos in the penitentiary.
This movie IMHO, while much more lighthearted than it's predecessor, is also much more campy. Case in point: Half Dead's henchmen Simp and Do Dirty. Comic relief in it's purest state.

Part 3 - Back in prison for another murder, Too Sweet takes on Serengeti (Anthony Geary) who is an inmate who runs the prison due to the warden's high gambling debts. BAD movie to the Nth degree.

On another note, one more bad movie:

Lady Cocoa - Lola Falana is a convict out of prison to help identify and testify against her boyfriend gangster (kind of a 48 Hrs. type of movie). About halfway through the flick, the lighting is so bad, you literally cannot make out any real details of what is going on, b/c it is so dark it is hard to see.

check em out at your local video store
RM

AKA2D '91 · #9 04-29-2002, 02:39 PM

RM, when you mentioned "Cabin" I thought of this one. It was where these couples got on this chartered bus and went to this couple's retreat or something. This event was lead by a minister and his wife. The wife took the women and the husband took the men. They had these different chat sessions. I remember one of the couples was a sista and this white dude. I remember also that the guys had to go out in the desert to do this obstacle course...

Honeykiss1974 · #10 04-29-2002, 03:01 PM

Leprecan in the Hood was down -n- dirty funky!!!! OMG I still couldn't tell yall what it was about because I couldn't stomach the whole movie, although I do think that 3 strikes is worse. At least the leprecan did have me rollin' with his dumb raps!

This one movie called Nikita Blues (starring the sister from the show Smart Guy) is another movie that should be in the 49 cent bin at your local grocery store. Please only rent this if you are wanting to put someone to sleep.

Although I want to put Holiday Heart in this catorgory (because Ving Rhames in drag is a monstrosity of a drag queen), but he did have a tight perm though.

AKA2D '91 · #11 04-29-2002, 05:31 PM

LMAO@ Holiday Heart...that momma got on my doggone nerves!

Anyway, the most recent pix I've seen that would fit into this category was the one with Larenz Tate and Deborah Cox. I forgot this name, too. LMAO. Deborah was adopted by this "couple" and she was a nightclub singer too. Larenz was an on again off again druggie/comedian.

Rain Man · #12 04-29-2002, 07:21 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AKA2D '91
LMAO@ Holiday Heart...that momma got on my doggone nerves!

Anyway, the most recent pix I've seen that would fit into this category was the one with Larenz Tate and Deborah Cox. I forgot this name, too. LMAO. Deborah was adopted by this "couple" and she was a nightclub singer too. Larenz was an on again off again druggie/comedian.

2D, I know the film that you are talking about (the Deborah Cox/Larenz Tate one), and the title is Love Come Down. I have been thinking about renting it though, just never had the chance to.

Oh, here are some more GHETTO flicks I rented a while back

Blackenstein (1972). Pretty much along the same lines as Blacula and it's sequel as far as its cheesiness goes. Similar plot to the original Frankenstein movie and remakes.

Super Soul Brother (aka the Six Thousand Dollar Ni**er) (1978). Wildmon Steve plays a bum who is picked up by two men and is made to drink an experimental potion that is supposed to give him superhuman strength. The men are using him to help steal a safe--I forgot the true plot point. Then again, the movie was THAT bad.

Oh, and GCers, remember this rule of thumb for a truly ghetto flick:

If the video is distributed by Xenon Entertainment Group, it is a prime candidate. There are some others, but Xenon is a major ghetto flick distributor (most of their movies were shot in the 70s and 80s).

Keep em' comin', yall.

TempleAlum1993 · #13 04-29-2002, 09:12 PM

I can't even remember the name of the movie but there were some kids on a road trip (BUS) headed out to Cali to make a video. I watched the whole thing because I had paid $1.99 for the rental and my husband dared me to watch the whole thing. The movie was bad BUT I won the bet

I liked Holiday Heart...Alfre Woodard can play the he!! out of those druggie roles caint she?

AKA2D '91 · #14 04-29-2002, 09:14 PM

Holiday Heart is on BET....NOW!

Rain Man · #15 04-29-2002, 09:37 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by TempleAlum1993
I can't even remember the name of the movie but there were some kids on a road trip (BUS) headed out to Cali to make a video. I watched the whole thing because I had paid $1.99 for the rental and my husband dared me to watch the whole thing. The movie was bad BUT I won the bet

If I am not mistaken, the movie you are referring to is Ride! and they were not going to Cali, they were going from New York to Miami to shoot a video with Luke (2 Live Crew). Ghetto film nonetheless.

Seeing that many of the GCers are on the Brian Hooks tip with Nothin' 2 Lose and 3 Strikes, who remembers the movie Phat Beach (1994) with him and Jermaine "Huggy" Hopkins (Lean on Me, Juice). The scene where the stripper (played by XXX star Devin DeRay) ti**y-punches Brian Hooks was HEE-larious!!