Friends and Fraternity (or Sorority)

damasa · #1 03-18-2001, 04:28 PM

What does a person do when they have friends they've know, basically their whole life, that hate them being part of the greek system?

The majority of my friends that I went to high school hate the fact that I belong to a fraternity. Now, I'm talking about friends that went all over for school, different states, different campuses, yet, they all hear that I (singled out) joined a fraternity. Most of them look and act differently around me now, and instead of callin me by my name, they say, "hey frat boy" or something to that end.

None of my friends belong to greek org. and it's not common that many ppl from our high school really do.

So how in the gee gosh golly heck (lol) do I get them to realize that greek life isn't as bad as most of them perceive it. It's nothing like they think, when the say that they've brainwashed me and taken control of my mind...LOL...they make it sound as if I were abducted by aliens!!!!

DGPhoney · #2 03-18-2001, 05:50 PM

Well, I think your friends should respect that being greek is what you wanted to do, and thats it's apart of your life now, and nothings really changed except that you have a "new title", and I think maybe explaining greek life and maybe letting them know what the myths are and what your particular org stands for then maybe they'll understand.
So I wish you luck

One and Much Love
Delta Gamma Pi Sorority
Diana

Lil_G · #3 03-18-2001, 06:16 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by damasa:
What does a person do when they have friends they've know, basically their whole life, that hate them being part of the greek system?

The majority of my friends that I went to high school hate the fact that I belong to a fraternity. Now, I'm talking about friends that went all over for school, different states, different campuses, yet, they all hear that I (singled out) joined a fraternity. Most of them look and act differently around me now, and instead of callin me by my name, they say, "hey frat boy" or something to that end.

None of my friends belong to greek org. and it's not common that many ppl from our high school really do.

So how in the gee gosh golly heck (lol) do I get them to realize that greek life isn't as bad as most of them perceive it. It's nothing like they think, when the say that they've brainwashed me and taken control of my mind...LOL...they make it sound as if I were abducted by aliens!!!!

Hey damasa
I know what it's like to experience this. Where I'm from, greek life is not considered very important and has caused conflicts with my family and freinds. There's not a lot you can do to curve anti-greek sentiments, trust me. At times it feels like it's you and your brothers against everyone else. I've even got in some real heated arguments with old freinds.

There comes a certain point where people just won't listen to reason.

What you may have to do is segregate your greek life and non-greek life. Your freinds have to accept it as part of your life, but you have to assure them that their freindship is still important to you and that you still want them as a part of your life.

I nearly lost my best freind because I was too stubborn to change my ways. I was pissed because I was sacrificing so much into my fraternity and received a lot of flak and criticism from those I counted on for support.

It's not easy being judged because of the letters you wear across your chest.
Everyday I hear negative comments about greeks, you can't let it get to you.

I know who I am, I don't give a shit what others say.

DGPhoney · #4 03-18-2001, 08:03 PM

I totally agree with Lil_g. AS greeks a lot of people look down on us because of the wrongs that past and present greeks do. But you have to stand for what you believe in and why you choose the fraternity that you belong too, over others. Wear your letters proudly, no matter what your friends say, if they are truly your peeps then they will understand and remember your letters don't make you!
One and always much sisterly and greek love
Delta Gamma Pi Sorority

"Push yourself to notice the extraordinary in the ordinary"

33girl · #5 03-18-2001, 10:28 PM

damasa,

Greek life is different at every campus...maybe at your friends' campuses it is very much the stereotype. I know when I talked to people who went to other (bigger) schools, they couldn't belive I joined a sorority.

Your friends sound like they are being very immature and a bit jealous. I mean, if one of them joined a Christian group at college would you walk around calling them John The Baptist Junior? If your friends are going to treat you differently when the way you act around them hasn't changed, then it might be time to let them go until they grow up a little. If at all possible, maybe ask some of them to come to school to visit and meet your brothers. If they refuse to even "relax and free their minds or something" (to quote Butt-Head) then I would seriously re-evaluate if I want to be friends with such close-minded people.

AKA_Monet · #6 03-18-2001, 11:05 PM

damasa:

I know their your friends but they are probably not of pedigree anyway... Just have to go there...

Why would they have to tell you all about what you're s'pose to be if they weren't jealous of you from the get-go?

That's just my opinion.

damasa · #7 03-19-2001, 12:05 AM

Thanks for all the help everyone

I will use these suggestions and try to get through to the hard heads!! LOL...It is very hard being greek...espically at my school..it's a good sized school, but greek life is looked at very negatively...i.e...when you walk through the halls w/ your letter on you get the blank, evil looking stare, kinda like when the kids were walking out of the school in the faculty!!

juniorgrrl · #8 03-19-2001, 12:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AKA_Monet:
damasa:

I know their your friends but they are probably not of pedigree anyway... Just have to go there...

Not of pedigree?

Its attitudes like that that cause people to feel animosity towards the greek system in the first place.

[This message has been edited by juniorgrrl (edited March 19, 2001).]

ahhkbah · #9 03-20-2001, 02:59 AM

Explain your situation. Myabe try to separate that part of yourself.

But I honestly believe that sometimes you just have to burn bridges...

Lil_G · #10 03-20-2001, 03:25 AM

Man there's some bad advice on here....how can some of you possibly suggest to get rid of your freinds because they don't agree with the greek system?

It seems like some of these ppl don't know what it's like being greek at a school where fraternities are almost non-existent.

We are the outsiders, we have to acknowledge
that the choice of our freinds not to join fraternities is their right. If we hold that against them we're perpetuating the same kind of ideology that anti-greeks hold against us.

Take everything with a grain of salt.

What damasa is saying echoes my experiences exactly. 99% of the student body holds negative views against greeks. If we held views that these individuals (who are merely misinformed and/or ignorant) are jealous, or not of pedigree, then we probably wouldn't even survive on campus.

If I decided to get rid of all my freinds and family because they didn't agree with my choice to join a fraternity - I would be even more isolated than I am now.

ilovemyglo · #11 03-23-2001, 04:03 AM

I pledged as a sophomore. My best friends both went to another state school and didnt like the chapter of my sorority there. When I joined they teased me and none of my FAMILY went to college except my two older brothers and they stayed at home and didn't join greek life. They STILL tease me.
My brothers call it rent a friend and my parents ask me which months are worth it. I let them think what they want but recently my mom got really interested when they came down to my school for my confirmation (I waited til I was in college although I have always been Catholic) and they saw my sisters at the church there for me. It was really touching to her and she even offered to help me pay dues.

things get better when they realize who are greeks. Tell them about famous greeks, I am not sure what GLO you are in but that is what I do. My friends accept it and only give me a hard time when I let them and my brothers know that I love my sisters, that is all that matters.

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If your going to go greek, why not be a goddess?

shadokat · #12 03-23-2001, 11:17 AM

My parents made a joke of my joining a sorority as well. They called me "Buffy" and asked me if paying for friends was worth it. It was all in jest, but they didn't get it. Then, I invited my mom to our first Mother/Daughter brunch. She had so much fun and saw how wonderful sisterhood was, that she never made fun of it again, and even reprimanded my dad for doing so

As for my friends, well, some things are better to avoid if you can't come to an agreement on. Think of it this way, agree to disagree with them on the subject and let it go. But burning bridges is silly.

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Delta Phi Epsilon, Celebrating 84 years of Dedication, Pride and Excellence!

KSigkid · #13 03-26-2001, 10:54 PM

The fact is, the people who don't understand never will understand unless they join. Friends from home didn't understand why I did it, and they still make fun of me because of it sometimes, but nothing too bad...just a lack of understanding. The best you could do is roll with it and not let it bother you too much - just let them know that everyone makes their choices, and you did what makes you happiest, and you hope they do the same, whether it's the Greek system or not.

AKA_Monet · #14 03-27-2001, 03:22 PM

The fact is too, summa of this HATER chit comes from luser faculty attitudes. Kids wouldn't be so negative toward GLO's if they hadn't heard about it from an alleged ADULT!!!

Just a tid-bit. Most GLOs do community service or philanthropic causes. How they "hook up" to work with various service organizations, such as the Multiple Sclerosis Association which is having a walk really soon, is by the networking, leadership connections developed by older alumni members.

If summa of you visit the "Famous Greeks" posts. You'll see who are members of various GLOs. Almost all the President's of the United States are Fraternity members--you need to ask yourself, Why???

And no you do not have to be greek to do philanthropy. But most causes are implemented by members of GLO's and if it hadn't been for some of them, things would be very different.

It's a greek thang, you just would never understand...