What To Do for Sons Fraternity

JudySS · #1 09-29-2009, 11:45 AM

I guess this is a stupid question but I would like to "help" out or do for my sons fraternity of SigEp. I have 2 sons, one active one pledge and I'm trying to come up with ideas. I have been so involved with the boys during football and band that I really have a need to do something now. Any suggestions that I won't step over my boundaries?

Kevin · #2 09-29-2009, 12:03 PM

Donate money. Show up for Parent's day if they have one. If they have a parents' auxiliary, you can join that (this is a rare thing to exist).

Otherwise, don't be THAT parent. Your kids are in college now, they are adults, let them enjoy this without you.

kddani · #3 09-29-2009, 12:06 PM

Baked goods!

KSUViolet06 · #4 09-29-2009, 12:11 PM

Ask what they might need.

Generally speaking, guys always appreciate food (especially the home cooked variety).

aopirose · #5 09-29-2009, 12:29 PM

You could also check to see if the chapter has a Mothers' Club or a Parents' Club. These clubs can go a long way in providing chapter support.

Like KSUVilolet said, you could always ask what they need. That's how my MIL got sweet-talked into making customized curtins for the house.

ree-Xi · #6 09-29-2009, 02:13 PM

If you are close by, ask them if it would be okay to make something for the house and ask if they would like to pick it up. I wouldn't show up at the house unannounced or uninvited.

If they aren't super close geographically, mail them goody packages, with cookies, candy jars, magazines (you can also buy subscriptions for the house - a gift that keeps on giving and that everyone can enjoy), movie DVDs (or Blueray - whichever player they have), Netflix subscription, video games.

You can also make different packages based on holidays. Halloween goody bags, "Winter holiday" stuff, exam time.

You might also ask the boys what they might like or want. If you have a specific price range, price a few things out and have them choose.

I think it's nice to want to support them, but just let them think it's on their own terms.

#7 09-29-2009, 03:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kevin

Otherwise, don't be THAT parent. Your kids are in college now, they are adults, let them enjoy this without you.

I have to agree. I am a legacy at my chapter and my father practically makes my mother do nothing lol. He understands that I am an adult and SigEp is my thing...

MysticCat · #8 09-30-2009, 02:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kevin

Donate money. Show up for Parent's day if they have one. If they have a parents' auxiliary, you can join that (this is a rare thing to exist).

Otherwise, don't be THAT parent. Your kids are in college now, they are adults, let them enjoy this without you.

Ditto to all. And make sure your sons know they won't be hurting your feelings if they tell you that you are stepping over some boundaries.

RaggedyAnn · #9 09-30-2009, 05:35 AM

I would talk to your sons and ask if their is anything you can do. Be honest with them about wanting to help out. They may not realize that your generosity extends to college activities.

Otherwise, perhaps it is time to find a charity to volunteer with? There are a lot of great organizations that would love to have you. It sounds like you may have empty nest syndrome.

ThetaDancer · #10 09-30-2009, 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RaggedyAnn

I would talk to your sons and ask if their is anything you can do. Be honest with them about wanting to help out. They may not realize that your generosity extends to college activities.

Otherwise, perhaps it is time to find a charity to volunteer with? There are a lot of great organizations that would love to have you. It sounds like you may have empty nest syndrome.

Completely agree. Donate money, attend events for parents, and see if your sons have anything they want/need help with.

And I would really look in to volunteering. Perhaps being a "big sister" with Big Brothers Big Sisters (or a similar group), mentoring kids, etc.? There are a lot of ways to offer up your support and energy, and a lot of children and organizations who would appreciate your involvement. Just a thought!

LatinaAlumna · #11 09-30-2009, 01:48 PM

Hi JudySS:

Since you have raised two sons who have successfully made it to college, I think you would be great as a mentor or volunteer in your community! There are sooo many young people who need guidance and encouragement out there.

I would just mention to your young men that you are available if there is anything you can help with at their chapter. Maybe there isn't an immediate need, but they will keep your offer in mind and it keeps the door open.

I think it's great that you support your kids and want to help their fraternity! Maybe you can check out which philanthropies they work with and become a volunteer in one of those organizations.

JudySS · #12 10-01-2009, 08:18 AM

I appreciate all the words of wisdom especially from dmost2(right) but I already am involved, I'm a scout leader in the district and the state, I am a 21 year teacher at a high school, my husband and I have an Astronomy Club and I am the sponsor for the Pep Club plus I still volunteer to make Football Stadium Flags for my son's old high school. It's just that I appreciate the fraternity system and all that it has to offer my sons. As far as being THAT parent, I know my boundaries and what I should and should not do, it was just a sincere question to help out some other students that may not be able to have a "family" around. Again, I appreciate your thoughts and understanding.
As far as empty nest, you might be right but last night we had 123 high school students to our house that we fed for a "Star" Party for the Astronomy Club.

LatinaAlumna · #13 10-03-2009, 10:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JudySS

it was just a sincere question to help out some other students that may not be able to have a "family" around.

With the holidays coming up, maybe you can ask your sons if any of their fraternity brothers are without a place to go/can't get home, and invite them to celebrate with your family.

I can think of a lot of other ways to get involved, but they might not be considered appropriate for your son's organization. I'm a member of a Latina Greek Letter Org. and parents/siblings/aunts/uncles/grandparents/etc. are often very welcome to be involved in LGLO activities (especially service, fundraising, and even social events like banquets, family BBQs, etc.). But I can respect that different types of GLOs have different ways of including family members, and I think if you just ask your sons what would work, they would let you know what is best.

Good luck to you!

RaggedyAnn · #14 10-05-2009, 05:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LatinaAlumna

With the holidays coming up, maybe you can ask your sons if any of their fraternity brothers are without a place to go/can't get home, and invite them to celebrate with your family.

Having been the recipient of one of my sister's family's hospitality one Easter, I can tell you this is an excellent idea.

Pike/PhiDeltmom · #15 10-05-2009, 07:15 AM

Home cooking always seems to be appreciated. I recently made 3 huge sheets of baked ziti for my sons fraternity I dropped it off along with plastic plates and forks at my sons apartment so he could take it with him to a chapter meeting. Although I didn't get to enjoy watching the guys devour the food, I had a good metal image of 80+ young men having a nice surprise dinner.