Going CRAZY!

[caprice89]

I'm a sophomore and I went through formal recruitment this year and at the end I was very confused and overwhelmed with my experience. No one in my family is Greek and I had no idea what to do at the end of the last round. So, I withdrew out of recruitment and was advised to do informal.

Well, now I really regret that decision because I really really really want to go Greek and I'm afraid that now I won't ever get to join a sorority. I want to do informal but I have no idea where to start, who to ask questions, and how can I try to get in touch with the sororities I'm interested in without seeming like I'm creepy? The ones I want to see are the ones that preffed me so I'm sure it won't be a huge problem if I got in touch with them but... I have no idea where to begin.

Can any of you help guide me in the right direction?

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by caprice89

I'm a sophomore and I went through formal recruitment this year and at the end I was very confused and overwhelmed with my experience. No one in my family is Greek and I had no idea what to do at the end of the last round. So, I withdrew out of recruitment and was advised to do informal.

Well, now I really regret that decision because I really really really want to go Greek and I'm afraid that now I won't ever get to join a sorority. I want to do informal but I have no idea where to start, who to ask questions, and how can I try to get in touch with the sororities I'm interested in without seeming like I'm creepy? The ones I want to see are the ones that preffed me so I'm sure it won't be a huge problem if I got in touch with them but... I have no idea where to begin.

Can any of you help guide me in the right direction?

I'm confused. You said you dropped out of recruitment, but the sororities that you want to join are the ones that invited you to pref? Why didn't you finish formal recruitment if this is the case?

[caprice89]

They weren't my original choice and I was afraid and very emotional.
I went through the whole recruitment process except I didn't do the last vote.

It was a very quick decision and the pi chi who told me about informal recruitment who told me she would give more more info hasn't done so. So, I feel like I've been forgotten and was given bad advice. When I could have just finished, got a bid, and not be so depressed right now

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by caprice89

They weren't my original choice and I was afraid and very emotional.
I went through the whole recruitment process except I didn't do the last vote.

It was a very quick decision and the pi chi who told me about informal recruitment who told me she would give more more info hasn't done so. So, I feel like I've been forgotten and was given bad advice. When I could have just finished, got a bid, and not be so depressed right now

Remember, your Pi Chi is still a member of one of those sororities. So while it is her responsibility to help you throughout the formal recruitment process, this doesn't have to carry over into informal. Some Pi Chis can continue to be very helpful, but keep in mind that she is no longer required to take a neutral stance.

I would contact the Greek Life office for more information. They will be able to tell you how informal recruitment works at your school. From what I understand, informal can be run very differently from campus to campus. Also, I imagine that you don't know which sororities are participating in COR (if any), so they might be able to provide you with that information, as well.

ETA: Did your Pi Chi specify WHEN informal would be taking place? Did she indicate whether you should look into it immediately following formal, or did she mean next semester?

[caprice89]

The sorority my Pi Chi is in is one of the original that I put on my top list but I don't want to join it just because she is in it. Or at least make it seem that way since I know what she is now.

I contacted one of the girls in the sorority I'm interested in that I met during recruitment and she said she was happy that I did find her on facebook and I'm hoping that's a good thing. She's also the inductor...so I guess that helps... maybe?

I'll go to Greek Life and try to keep in touch with this girl as much as possible. I just don't want to completely ruin my chances. I want to be a part of something great while I'm here.

[RhoGamma09]

Originally Posted by caprice89

I'm a sophomore and I went through formal recruitment this year and at the end I was very confused and overwhelmed with my experience. No one in my family is Greek and I had no idea what to do at the end of the last round. So, I withdrew out of recruitment and was advised to do informal.

Well, now I really regret that decision because I really really really want to go Greek and I'm afraid that now I won't ever get to join a sorority. I want to do informal but I have no idea where to start, who to ask questions, and how can I try to get in touch with the sororities I'm interested in without seeming like I'm creepy? The ones I want to see are the ones that preffed me so I'm sure it won't be a huge problem if I got in touch with them but... I have no idea where to begin.

Can any of you help guide me in the right direction?

I'm a little confused as to WHY your Pi Chi let you drop out so easily...I mean, you were RIGHT there....

I would seriously consider what exactly your emotions were when you were going through formal recruitment, what exactly was freaking you out? If you felt emotional enough to drop, and you felt so strongly about the sororities that you didnt want to continue....seriously look into that. Try not to get caught up in the "shoulda, coulda" of feeling left out because youre not a pledge now, and everyone is.

Are the ones that you want now (that you rejected) really what you want?

Informal is fine, just contact your greek life office, but seriously consider what your feelings are and understand that your actions might seriously affect how informal goes....you have to understand the sorority's viewpoint, they might be a little confused as to what happened.

[KSUViolet06]

This is why we advise PNMs to stick out at least until after Pref round. There is no guarantee that informal will work out, or that the chapters a PNM is interested will even be participating (if they hit total, they may not be).

Your Greek Life Office probably has the best info about informal. Best of luck to you!

[caprice89]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

This is why we advise PNMs to stick out at least until after Pref round. There is no guarantee that informal will work out, or that the chapters a PNM is interested will even be participating (if they hit total, they may not be).

Your Greek Life Office probably has the best info about informal. Best of luck to you!

I did last till Pref round. I went through all of them. I thought it would be very rude of me not to at least go back to the ones I was invited to. Overall, I'm glad I did.

[caprice89]

The exact thing I said was, "I can see myself in this sorority, but I don't know if I will be happy. Its like getting married to someone I've only known for one day." I was mostly concerned with being a good fit. The only person I had to talk to was my Pi Chi and other people I've talked to since belief that informal can help me make a more informed decision.

The ones I want now aren't the ones that rejected me honestly. The ones that invited me back for pref were very genuine and I could tell that they really loved each other and I didn't feel weird when I was there. I think the whole making a choice and voting make me over think the situation.

So, after I contact the greek life office how should I go about making sure the sorority understands where I was coming from? I know its confusing but I don't know ANYONE personally that has gone through it before, so I was a little lost. Which I believe is understandable.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by caprice89

So, after I contact the greek life office how should I go about making sure the sorority understands where I was coming from? I know its confusing but I don't know ANYONE personally that has gone through it before, so I was a little lost. Which I believe is understandable.

It is completely understandable, but you also have to understand that the sororities probably don't know that, and there might be no way of telling them (unless you're invited to an event... in which case I still wouldn't bring it up while at a recruitment event unless asked. Because, hey, they liked you enough to invite you back).

Again, we can't really give you any direct advice about the course of action you should take from here without knowing the system of informal recruitment that is used on your campus. At some schools, the chapters hold informal during the semester after formal recruitment (in this case, it would be in the spring), at others, they hold events directly following formal. There might be events open to everyone, or they might be invite-only. There might be 10 groups participating in COB, there might be 2, or there might be none.

Find out all that you can from the Greek Life office, and then feel free to ask more specific questions.

Good Luck (and stay positive!)

[FSUZeta]

contact the greek life office, like astalumna06 said. they may be compiling a list of girls who are interested in participating in informal recruitment(cob) and you can add you name to it, so that the sororities who will be doing cob will know that you are interested.

i am sorry that you dropped out, but that is water under the bridge now. be proactive about cob'ing. good luck to you.

[Titchou]

You also need to understand that all the groups may not be doing COR...so your choices may be even more limited than what they were in formal recruitment. If this Pi Chi's group is not doing COR, she can't get you in no matter how much she likes you. You need to go see the Greek Adviser and learn exactly what is available on your campus....and how it's done. That is the only reliable source at this point.

[caprice89]

I think I probably mixed up my words.
I'm not trying to be in the same group as my Pi Chi is.
She is just the one who told me about COR. The other day she told me she had some info but never got back to me so, I think I am on my own.

I know that one of the groups I'm interested is open because a girl on my floor got in and told me they were bringing PNM's to lunch. Do you have to be invited to do informal recruitment? Because I don't know very many people in the Greek system and I remember a few of the girls I met but not their names.

I hope they won't think I'm a bad person for withdrawing and still wanting to go Greek. My only other option after this is joining one the local one and I'm not sure if I want to do that...

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by caprice89

I know that one of the groups I'm interested is open because a girl on my floor got in and told me they were bringing PNM's to lunch. Do you have to be invited to do informal recruitment?

I hope they won't think I'm a bad person for withdrawing and still wanting to go Greek. My only other option after this is joining one the local one and I'm not sure if I want to do that...

This depends on the chapter. Some chapters do invite-only CORs. I am not sure how this particular chapter is doing things, but anytime I've heard of a chapter doing lunch with PNMs, they had to be invited by a sister.

I'm of the mind that if a girl whom you hang out with thinks you'd make a good member, she will invite you.

I don't think that a chapter would necessarily think you were "a bad person" but it is possible that chapters may have limited spots at this point and not be able to take very many girls.

Also, if these are chapters you Preffed, they may assume you are not interested since you attended their Pref parties and dropped out.

[FSUZeta]

i say go ahead and let your dormmate know that you are interested in cob events with her chapter-i mean, what have you got to lose? if you don't speak up, you may miss out.