Telling the 'rents...

mkose1 · #1 07-28-2009, 01:29 PM

I'm not sure what I should do about this problem of mine, i've always been close to my parents and I really don't wanna hide the fact that I'm in rush and hopefully get a bid, but I know that my family won't really be "thrilled" to hear that I'm going greek. So what should I say to them that will make them not throw a fit? They buy into all the stereotypes of greek life...enough said...how do i tell them that i really want the brotherhood that comes with joining a fraternity? I'd really enjoy any advice...thanks...

court4short · #2 07-28-2009, 01:50 PM

I think it's safe to say that if your parents love you, they will understand. I'm sure if you explain why you're rushing (for all the right reasons!) they will probably warm up to it. Maybe send them some information on what great things the fraternity does? A lot of parents have stereoptypes about Greek life that is completely wrong. Show them the truth

!

MysticCat · #3 07-28-2009, 01:51 PM

Anti-Greek Parents

Parents against sororities

Getting your parents to support you joining a GLO

Selling Parents to Allow Sorority Membership

Parents are Anti-Greek

Just a few examples from a simple search for the word "parents" in thread titles. Took 10 seconds.

court4short · #4 07-28-2009, 01:56 PM

gotta love the search...

agzg · #5 07-28-2009, 02:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mkose1

I'm not sure what I should do about this problem of mine, i've always been close to my parents and I really don't wanna hide the fact that I'm in rush and hopefully get a bid, but I know that my family won't really be "thrilled" to hear that I'm going greek. So what should I say to them that will make them not throw a fit? They buy into all the stereotypes of greek life...enough said...how do i tell them that i really want the brotherhood that comes with joining a fraternity? I'd really enjoy any advice...thanks...

My parents were especially against it because the college near my hometown had a hazing death right before I left for college. To be honest, if your parents are anything like mine, you'll have to prove it to them that you're safe and that it's worthwhile, and that comes after recieving a bid (or in my case, after being initiated with no bruises, bumps, emotional scarring, or having died due to alcohol poisoning). While going through recruitment, keep them aprised of the process. As a new member, tell them as much as you can or remember. Remind them that they did well with how they raised you and that you have a good head on your shoulders, and prove that to them in other ways.

If they're worried about your grades, keep them up or make them better while a new member.

If there's ever an event where parents would be welcome, invite them, and then see that they come, even if they live far away. My parents lived a few hours from my campus but nothing made them feel better about my sorority membership than when they came for a family luncheon, met my sisters and many people close to the chapter, and knew that I had people looking out for me.

I also paid all sorority dues and sorority costs myself, meaning I got a job to do it. I don't know what dues were like at your campus, but mine were manageable. In the end my parents appreciated that I was responsible enough to want something and to make it happen.

mkose1 · #6 07-28-2009, 05:01 PM

Thanks for the help, its all really great advice, and i admit i probably should have used the search a bit more, only thing is it tried under alot of things, i just never actually typed in "parents" lol...but yeah thanks for the advice, i think i'll wait until I get a bid (assuming I do) to actually tell my dad and sis, my mom knows, and all she told me was to be smart about it...after she told me she wasn't too happy about it...oh well i guess time will tell.

pshsx1 · #7 07-28-2009, 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mkose1

Thanks for the help, its all really great advice, and i admit i probably should have used the search a bit more, only thing is it tried under alot of things, i just never actually typed in "parents" lol...but yeah thanks for the advice, i think i'll wait until I get a bid (assuming I do) to actually tell my dad and sis, my mom knows, and all she told me was to be smart about it...after she told me she wasn't too happy about it...oh well i guess time will tell.

hahaha I did the same thing when I got a bid. Hopefully they'll take it well. Down the road, if you get a bid and become a member, be sure to keep your parents fairly updated on all of the 'good' stuff. Like I let my parents know when I'm doing philanthropy stuff or spending the weekend at another school.

Gusteau · #8 07-28-2009, 05:34 PM

Though I recommend that you take a look at the other threads, I will say that one of my pledge brothers did not tell his parents about it and I think he regrets it now. His father is a member of an NPHC fraternity and both of his parents thought it would be better for him to wait until after his freshman year to join a fraternity (and presumably his father's) Now it's gotten to a point where he dosen't know how to tell them that he's been lying to them for all this time. The longer he waits the worse it gets.

Senusret I · #9 07-28-2009, 06:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gusteau

Though I recommend that you take a look at the other threads, I will say that one of my pledge brothers did not tell his parents about it and I think he regrets it now. His father is a member of an NPHC fraternity and both of his parents thought it would be better for him to wait until after his freshman year to join a fraternity (and presumably his father's) Now it's gotten to a point where he dosen't know how to tell them that he's been lying to them for all this time. The longer he waits the worse it gets.

Wow. So many things.

KSUViolet06 · #10 07-28-2009, 06:05 PM

Just an FYI: I would not suggest lying to your parents or witholding the fact that you've joined until later on.

They are alot less likely to approve after you've lied to them about it.

court4short · #11 07-28-2009, 07:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Just an FYI: I would not suggest lying to your parents or witholding the fact that you've joined until later on.

They are alot less likely to approve after you've lied to them about it.

I have to agree here. If you hide it from them, it only makes it seem more conspicuous. Their mindset about Greek life might become even worse if it's something you hide from them and make it even more sketchy. Ya dig?

PiKA2001 · #12 07-28-2009, 08:38 PM

Is going greek really that big of a deal to some parents? I'm assuming you're 18 so just tell mom and dad you knocked a 32 year old divorcee up or that you're gay. Give them a week to stew on that then tell them you're joking and let the real cat out of the bag. Might put some things in perspective to them.

Gusteau · #13 07-28-2009, 06:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Senusret I

Wow. So many things.

I probably should have mentioned that we're both still undergraduates because I did make it seem like its been a decade of lies or something. Regardless, the bottom line is that it's a situation that only gets worse the longer you wait. It's not advisable to leave your parents out of a lifetime commitment.

Senusret I · #14 07-29-2009, 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gusteau

I probably should have mentioned that we're both still undergraduates because I did make it seem like its been a decade of lies or something. Regardless, the bottom line is that it's a situation that only gets worse the longer you wait. It's not advisable to leave your parents out of a lifetime commitment.

No, you didn't make it seem that way. I knew you were an undergrad.

It's pretty shameful anyway.

pshsx1 · #15 07-28-2009, 05:58 PM

My parents found out b/c SigEp mails a packet to the home address once they process our info. They wished I had waited a semester or a year but they've never really complained.