Fellow Sisterfriends: Hand Out or Hand Up

[ENDROAD]

Okay, I thought of this topic this weekend as I was reviewing and organizing my "notebook" of research on Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Incorporated. As a striving Sisterfriend I look at my journey as a goal and a job to be done. I never half step in anything that I do and I don't make excuses. I have a lot of information about the sorority and the chapter I hope to gain membership in. I have a print out of the Greek Alphabet, Founders History, Chapter's Important Dates and Charter Members, etc. etc. My question is: Should I share this information with fellow interestees? One young lady on another thread said she had researched for three months. Not, to put her down but I have researched for three years. Some of my friends who I know are interested, I have attempted to share my information with them but they are more interested in learning how to stroll. I want to know that too, but I don't think it is a priority. So may I please get some feedbak from both Memberfriends and Sisterfriends on how I should handle this. Should I keep , (thanks Lovely), the info I have worked hard to collect or should I share? If you don't want to give advice here please feel free to email me.

Thanks

[This message has been edited by ENDROAD (edited June 18, 2001).]

[Lovely]

I think your choice of words is very interesting-share or be stingy? Stingy has a negative conotation-usually we called each other stingy if we didn't share some candy or other treat as kids. In school as in the workplace, sometimes, others get credit for work you have done. If you feel strongly that the "work" or "treat" you have so painstakingly acquired for three years is not something you want to share with others, that is your right. Don't feel like you have to share it. Perhaps, you will be doing them a favor by allowing them the opprotunity to research and uncover things for themselves. I would rephrase it in a positive way, you aren't being stingy, you're allowing them the opportunity to enjoy themselves in their pursuit.

[SweetestDiva]

All that information is readily available and easily attainable. I know a lot of interested females who are more concerned with chants and strolling, but hey, that's their biz. It's not my job to teach/take care of anybody else. Anybody who wants it bad enough will get out there and do what they need to do on their own.

[Riley]

Hey ENROAD, I am a fellow sisterfriend and I can relate to your situation. I personally wouldn't feel comfortable sharing information, and I mean "hard earned" info with someone else who I felt didn't put as much effort into searching or who doesn't seem as committed as you are like your friends. Like it has been said on many posts before seeking membership should fun and hard work. You cannot truly appreciate membership without it. I have been collecting information for the past 5 years. This info has been pooled from websites like these, books and archives. I am not about to hand all that over b/c someone else is intrested. You have to think of it like the members of Alpha Kappa Alpha. Would they just hand over info just b/c some one is intrested?

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[Audacity44]

As someone else stated, all the info that you have obtained is EASILY accesible. I would not make it a stressor on should I share what I have researched or keep it to myself. Instead I would encourage my Sisterfriend to keep looking and don't give up. Give her support and maybe one or two links as to where she can get a jump start on finding her information. I know that we are not supposed to Sistersit our sisterfriends, but at least we can give them a good impression on what Sisterhood is all about.

[SableCherub]

Originally posted by ENDROAD:
Okay, I thought of this topic this weekend as I was reviewing and organizing my "notebook" of research on Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority Incorporated. As a striving Sisterfriend I look at my journey as a goal and a job to be done. I never half step in anything that I do and I don't make excuses. I have a lot of information about the sorority and the chapter I hope to gain membership in. I have a print out of the Greek Alphabet, Founders History, Chapter's Important Dates and Charter Members, etc. etc. My question is: Should I share this information with fellow interestees? One young lady on another thread said she had researched for three months. Not, to put her down but I have researched for three years. Some of my friends who I know are interested, I have attempted to share my information with them but they are more interested in learning how to stroll. I want to know that too, but I don't think it is a priority. So may I please get some feedbak from both Memberfriends and Sisterfriends on how I should handle this. Should I keep , (thanks Lovely), the info I have worked hard to collect or should I share? If you don't want to give advice here please feel free to email me.

Thanks

[This message has been edited by ENDROAD (edited June 18, 2001).]

sf...i feel you...i'm in the same boat...the three year mark...and though i am not interested in alpha kappa alpha...i say keep it to yourself...we all have to tread our own path and if your friends are serious they will do their own research...to the extent that suits their desires...so i would not force anything on them...if they happen to ask where you got it from...i see nothing wrong with sharing it since it is public information...so i wish you the best...

[This message has been edited by SableCherub (edited June 18, 2001).]

[AKA2D '91]

Wellllll.

I PERSONALLY feel that you should "keep it to yourself". That is a compilation of YOU collecting data, materials, etc. JUST LIKE YOU DID IT, SOMEONE ELSE CAN GET OUT THERE AND HUSTLE THEIR BUTTS off and get the SAME information.

You don't have to tell the SF EXACTLY where you got the information, you can, however, steer her in the RIGHT DIRECTION.

That's just my personal opinion.

Something extra to think about. What if YOU give SF ABC ALL of your information AND SHE MAKES IT and YOU DON'T, how would you feel?

[Mahogany04]

Hi I'm the sisterfriend, who had only researched for three months. I just wanted to say that it's amazing if after three years you are still finding new information. There's only so much information on the internet before you starting running into redundant information. Also, there aren't very many books that we, as sisterfriends, have ready access to. Anyway, most of the information you'll need to know, you'll learn when and if you make line. People always advise sisterfirends to learn the history to have some knowledge of the organization prior to their pursuit of membership, but the extensive learning takes place on line. In addition, from what I hear, regardless of how much history YOU know, if your line sisters don't know it, it's just like you don't know it either. This leads me to answer the question at hand. This is about sisterhood. AS the saying goes "there is no I in Team." These girsl could be your line sisters one day, and if they don't know the information, you don't either. I wouldn't recommend starting a study groupe because I heard that that's against the rules, but you may want to consider sharing your information with these ladies (they could be your sisters one day). Also, one other thing...I heard that learning the history together on line is one of the things that creates the bond between the line sisters; they're able to grow close and work together for a common cause. You may not get the full effect if you already know all the information and you line sisters don't. I hope this helps.

[AKA2D '91]

At THIS juncture, a TEAM DOES NOT exist! So, right now, it's about I making the TEAM!

Whatever happens AFTER the team has been chosen is ANOTHER thread!

[ENDROAD]

Memberfriend AKA2D ‘91,

That is EXACTLY what I am talking about. I would be EXTREMELY upset if a Sisterfriend I had so diligently assisted just happened to be selected and I was not. There are only so many places to be filled on any Chapter's agenda, I presume, so I want to be sure that I receive a place, the rest just has to be set aside. I gave advice so freely recently but had to restrain myself when I saw my other Sisterfriends using this advice to gain favor with the Chapter Members. I consider myself to be a very kind person so, it was hard for me to come to a conclusion on my own regarding this matter. However, I see that all of the responses have told me to basically "Keep It To My Self" and "Allow Others To Do Their Own Work." Is there anyone out there who disagrees, I would like to hear your side also. This is very important to me and I think it will help other Sisterfriends too, both those who HAVE researched and those who HAVE NOT researched on their own.

I will share this verse that has assisted me in being patient through life and as I travel on my journey to Alpha Land, (no disrespect intended).

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God, and the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:6-7

Originally posted by AKA2D '91:
Wellllll.

I PERSONALLY feel that you should "keep it to yourself". That is a compilation of YOU collecting data, materials, etc. JUST LIKE YOU DID IT, SOMEONE ELSE CAN GET OUT THERE AND HUSTLE THEIR BUTTS off and get the SAME information.

You don't have to tell the SF EXACTLY where you got the information, you can, however, steer her in the RIGHT DIRECTION.

That's just my personal opinion.

Something extra to think about. What if YOU give SF ABC ALL of your information AND SHE MAKES IT and YOU DON'T, how would you feel?

[Riley]

AKA2D '91 At THIS juncture, a TEAM DOES NOT exist! So, right now, it's about I making the TEAM!
Whatever happens AFTER the team has been chosen is ANOTHER thread!

This is so true. I was told this many times! Seeking membership is not a group effort. You have to put your best foot forward and act is if your are the only one showing interest. Even though you may have a close friend who wants to join with you if she is not pulling her weight with research, sorry to say she will get left behind.

P.S. if you read my earlier post you will see there is more than just the web and books!

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[Riley]

AKA2D '91 At THIS juncture, a TEAM DOES NOT exist! So, right now, it's about I making the TEAM!
Whatever happens AFTER the team has been chosen is ANOTHER thread!

This is so true. I was told this many times! Seeking membership is not a group effort. You have to put your best foot forward and act is if your are the only one showing interest. Even though you may have a close friend who wants to join with you if she is not pulling her weight with research, sorry to say she will get left behind.

P.S. if you read my earlier post you will see there is more than just the web and books!

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[ENDROAD]

Originally posted by Mahogany04:
Hi I'm the sisterfriend, who had only researched for three months. I just wanted to say that it's amazing if after three years you are still finding new information. There's only so much information on the internet before you starting running into redundant information. Also, there aren't very many books that we, as sisterfriends, have ready access to.

Sisterfriend Mahogony4,

I asked for opinions on whether or not I should share the information I have collected and you gave me yours. Therefore, I want to be clear that this response is not directed to that statement but the statements made in the part of your quote I copied above. No offense, okay, but you have proven my point of how different three months of research versus three years of research can make. No the information has not been redundant at ALL. In fact, I would like to pose a couple of questions to you on information that is available through some "general" and some "very deep" research. For Example: Can you name the 9 original Founders and the 7 Sophomores? What year was the 1st initiation held? What year and where was the first Ivy Leaf planted? Where did they get it from? How many Chapters are in the region you are interested in? True enough, I would probably learn all of this from the Chapter Members "IF" I am selected but I know they will also be impressed if I already know some things as well, I know because they have told me they already are and encouraged me to keep researching. Keep Striving Sisterfriends, My Prayers are with you ALL.

[AKA4MJ]

SF, a few months ago, I was just where you are now! I was torn somewhat because I had readily attainable info that I wondered if I should share (and yes was even asked) with other intrestees.. And you know what I did, I kept it to myself! Nothing personal, but I did this for more of a selfish reason. What if they made it and I didn't, then they probably would REALLY expect me to know ALL the info we shared. So I took it upon myself to learn all of this info, and to only share with the other people that If (and I was ) I was extended an invitation for membership and my linesisters.

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"SunShine"
5-BL-01
UDC
http://www.geocities.com/aka4mj/
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"Pretty in Pink, Gorgeous in Green"

[lovele1978]

I am new to the forum, but I must say that as a sisterfriend that I have been doing research for quite some time as well. I agree with Riley in that you can find info about the organization of your interest through more than just websites. As it has been said many times before, how do you think sisterfriends did research before the internet?? I think we need to get back to doing leg-work and networking, and not rely do heavily on the world wide web.