Waste of time? or Good Idea?

[St3ph888]

Hi! okay so quickly- do you think it's a waste of time to attend the spring open houses and sisterhood events even if I can't accept a bid? why or why not?

thanks!
Steph

PS- if there are already posts about this, i'm sorry! I've been looking but didn't really find any specifically asking what i wanted to ask.. so thanks!

Just in case the rest of GreekChat needs a refresher

[MTSUGURL]

Originally Posted by OTW

Just in case the rest of GreekChat needs a refresher

Thanks for that... Makes sense now.

[MTSUGURL]

If you can't receive a bid, what are your reasons for going? If it's just to get to know people, you can do that outside of recruitment. I think it's a waste of time - not only of yours, but of theirs.

[UGAalum94]

Of course I don't really know, but I think if you want to downplay de-pledging then waiting until next year to attend rush events is the way to go.

Sure, you could get to know people at spring events, but you will have to explain why you can't take a bid; or worse yet, they won't ask YOU to explain it, but they will talk about it themselves and that's what you will be known for when you rush next year. ("oh, you know St3ph888; she's the girl from last spring that we met who couldn't join because she de-pledged her group last year.")

Everything varies from campus to campus, so you'd probably be better off asking members at your campus what you should do. If your campus is pretty casual and all six groups give out COB bids all year long every year, then they may not mind spending time rushing you when you can't join right now because they know they will still be looking next year. But if COB is only done by groups serious about getting to total this year who expect to make quota next fall, it's going to be a negative, I think.

OTW: thanks for posting the link. It put everything in a much clearer context.

[St3ph888]

thanks, okay so heres an example- one of the houses is having a sisterhood event, and they invited me, I know eventually they are going to be COBing but I don't know if that event is like the kickoff of spring recruitment?

so you all think that even going to a sisterhood or openhouse is a waste of my time and theirs?

is it rude to decline going if they personally invite you? I mean I would assume that they would know I depledged- doesn't news like that spread?

[UGAalum94]

I know it's a little weird because you can't seem like you expect a bid, but perhaps if in response the invitation you contact someone to RSVP, in the course of the conversation you can express that you'll be rushing next fall and you'd love to know more about them.

Then, they know you are interested, but they also know don't plan to join this spring.

Maybe someone else would know this: if the group did want to give a bid this spring, would Greek Life catch the attempt to give a bid to a PNM who wasn't eligible or does is she responsible for making sure it doesn't happen?

Certainly, if asked, she has to say she's not eligible and explain why. But if no one asks directly and she knows that Greek Life would prevent a bid being extended, couldn't she just kind of avoid talking about why she is re-rushing in the fall?

ETA: I'm used to really big fall recruitments in which the average sorority member might not know where everyone ended up on bid day, so unless you were somebody's rush crush, you might be kind of anonymous.

Also, St3ph888, you may have to face up to the fact that often times re-rushes go worse than first rushes. Even if your situation weren't complicated by de-pledging, I don't know if recs would make that big a difference. I think most folks here feel that PNMs don't usually get cut for not having recs if the group wanted you otherwise, especially if you were released early in the process.

I have no idea when or why you got cut; I don't know you in real life, and I'm not trying to put you down. If you want to be Greek, then you will have to either go through formal again next fall and/or COB, so you don't really have any other options.

But I don't want you to get your feelings hurt and be surprised if the second time through formal isn't even harder than the first, and in the linked post, you mention that your first rush wasn't successful by your standards. Be prepared and be realistic so you don't put too much of yourself into a situation that you can't really control.

[St3ph888]

Originally Posted by Alphagamuga

Also, St3ph888, you may have to face up to the fact that often times re-rushes go worse than first rushes. Even if your situation weren't complicated by de-pledging, I don't know if recs would make that big a difference. I think most folks here feel that PNMs don't usually get cut for not having recs if the group wanted you otherwise, especially if you were released early in the process.

I have no idea when or why you got cut; I don't know you in real life, and I'm not trying to put you down. If you want to be Greek, then you will have to either go through formal again next fall and/or COB, so you don't really have any other options.

But I don't want you to get your feelings hurt and be surprised if the second time through formal isn't even harder than the first, and in the linked post, you mention that your first rush wasn't successful by your standards. Be prepared and be realistic so you don't put to much of yourself into a situation that you can't really control.

I do know that re-rushing is often times harder than the first time-- and thats part of what worries me, I was extremely bummed when the first rush didnt go how I dreamed it would in a billion years.. I do know that at my school many people rush as sophs. even juniors and seniors get bids, so it gives me hope to a point.

I've spent the last months since then tearing myself apart because of it, things like whats wrong with me, what did i do wrong etc. and It almost scares me that if I face the same rejection or even possibly worse rejection next year. But it's one of those things, If I dont try again I know I will regret it.

Thats also part of the reason I've asked so many questions on this thread and others, becuase I don't want to do anything to "hurt" myself, seeing as how I'm kind of like "damaged goods" because of the whole de-pledging thing.

Thanks to everyone who's given feedback- positive and negitive, thats why I came here, to get the truth from people who will be real about it.

thanks!

[cheerfulgreek]

Originally Posted by St3ph888

thanks, okay so heres an example- one of the houses is having a sisterhood event, and they invited me, I know eventually they are going to be COBing but I don't know if that event is like the kickoff of spring recruitment?

so you all think that even going to a sisterhood or openhouse is a waste of my time and theirs?

is it rude to decline going if they personally invite you? I mean I would assume that they would know I depledged- doesn't news like that spread?

Maybe you should follow your 1st thoughts. If you really want to go, I don't see why it would be a waste of time. I mean you don't wanna not go and wish you did. Really, I would follow my 1st instinct.

Originally Posted by Alphagamuga

OTW: thanks for posting the link. It put everything in a much clearer context.

You're welcome.

To the OP, while it does look like I had other intentions for posting that link -- that wasn't the case, because you know that 20392830492834 people will eventually ask, "well...why can't you accept a bid?"

I would wait until next fall and use other avenues to get to know the members.

[PeppyGPhiB]

Just wanted to point out that sisterhood events are sometimes used to informally recruit women. Especially if a chapter is only looking for a few new members. It's very convenient...usually members are encouraged to invite friends/classmates they think would be a good addition to the chapter.

[UGAalum94]

Originally Posted by PeppyGPhiB

Just wanted to point out that sisterhood events are sometimes used to informally recruit women. Especially if a chapter is only looking for a few new members. It's very convenient...usually members are encouraged to invite friends/classmates they think would be a good addition to the chapter.

Do you think it means that they don't realize that St3ph888 can't join? Would a group knowingly invite a person who couldn't join until the following year?

ETA: I'm paranoid about seeming antagonisitic. I'm sincerely asking, not being rhetorical.