You complete me?

[GoldenGlow2000]

I was listening to the radio yesterday and the topic of the day was: Completeness. Do you feel that you need a significant other in order to feel complete? Do you need someone to complete you? Just wondering how many of us do, and how many of us don't and why or why not?

[jubilance1922]

Originally posted by GoldenGlow2000
I was listening to the radio yesterday and the topic of the day was: Completeness. Do you feel that you need a significant other in order to feel complete? Do you need someone to complete you? Just wondering how many of us do, and how many of us don't and why or why not?

I don't believe in completeness through another person. Only I can complete me. I do believe in complementary mates, because I would like someone who could be stronger where I am weaker, and vice versa.

I also believe that each person should give 100%, not 50% to make it work...but that's just me.

[NinjaPoodle]

Originally posted by GoldenGlow2000
I was listening to the radio yesterday and the topic of the day was: Completeness. Do you feel that you need a significant other in order to feel complete?

No

why or why not?

Growing up, I was always told to make sure I take care of my self because at some point myself is all I will have. I feel secure enough in myself to not define my life by having or not having a mate. I have so many other "things" in my life to take accomplishment in that I don’t have time to "fret" over something like that. Now, i would love to have that perfect mate but in my experience in life (+30 years) this is not possible. I also have trust issues. It's a dependability thing.

Originally posted by jubilance1922
I don't believe in completeness through another person. Only I can complete me. I do believe in complementary mates, because I would like someone who could be stronger where I am weaker, and vice versa.

I also believe that each person should give 100%, not 50% to make it work...but that's just me.

I agree with you soror.

[mulattogyrl]

Originally posted by jubilance1922
I don't believe in completeness through another person. Only I can complete me. I do believe in complementary mates, because I would like someone who could be stronger where I am weaker, and vice versa.

I also believe that each person should give 100%, not 50% to make it work...but that's just me.

Well said.

[bluethunder]

Relationships should compliment a man or woman, not complete him/her.

In order to find someone who is right, we must ourselves first be right. To much the same effect, to find someone who is whole, we must first seek to first be whole in and of ourselves. I think a lot of relationships fall apart because people get into them, expecting the other person to give them what they must ultimately seek within themselves. It would be a hell of a burden if my significant other expected me to help him become "whole".

[jojapeach]

Everyone has had a good comment on this. I'm glad that we have learned these lessons this early in our adult life. Just being with that one person cannot complete you.

Thanks to a singles ministry I attended several years ago, I learned that your single life is a time to work on your singluar self. It sounds selfish because it is. I don't have kids or a spouse; why shouldn't I focus on me??? Once you are a complete person through prayer and bible study, your activities, and finding yourself through whatever else, then that special person who will complement your life will come along. The idea of a relationship or a person completing you seems more like a replacing a missing car door with a piece of sheet metal. That metal may fly off at some point, and you'll be incomplete once again.

I believe that you have to figure out what makes you feel whole through your own efforts, interests, etc. I know someone who now feels incomplete as she's approaching 40 because she focused her 20s and 30s on her husband and kids. She forgot about herself being a part of this world.

[rho4life]

bump

[_Opi_]

No. I think we'll never be complete. There's always room to grow/improve and I don't think it lies in another person.

[SummerChild]

To some extent I feel that my boyfriend completes certain things/desires w/in me such as the need/desire for companionship and to receive romantic love from others. I feel like I do have these needs and if he was not in my life, I could get something reminiscent to the companionship and love that I receive from him from someone else or from my family although it would not be the same.

So yes, I would say that to some extent, he completes (needs/desires w/in) me.

Originally Posted by GoldenGlow2000

I was listening to the radio yesterday and the topic of the day was: Completeness. Do you feel that you need a significant other in order to feel complete? Do you need someone to complete you? Just wondering how many of us do, and how many of us don't and why or why not?

[Intense1920]

I don't believe in completing, I believe in complimenting.

[tunatartare]

Originally Posted by Intense1920

I don't believe in completing, I believe in complimenting.

I like that a lot. I think that saying that another person completes you is quite dramatic and over-the-top. Basically, what it's saying is that you can't exist or function without the person. This is simply not true, you can do quite well most of the time on your own, although it's nice when you have that special someone there with you. The other problem with saying it is that it can make you place too much blame on partners when you're unhappy. It's saying that you need someone there for you always to be happy and fulfilled, when you need to look at yourself and see why you're unhappy or unsatisfied and realize that only you can do what needs to be done to make yourself fulfilled.

[ZetaStorm]

No I don't feel that another person can complete you. I do agree that partners should compliment one another. This is probably why so many relationships fail. It's like setting your partner up for failure. When he/she doesn't live up to your unrealistic expectations then resentment settles in and it's all downhill from there. I think it's best to love yourself first and then you can love another person. If you love yourself there are certain things that you aren't going to accept in a relationship. (Example, cheating, disrespectful partners, abusive partners, etc.) I think that it's wonderful when you find that special someone who can share in your triumphs and accomplishments and in general life's journey. For me I'm turned off when a man is just too focused on me. He needs to have a life of his own outside of me. Heather Headley's song Me Time is a perfect example of this.

[preciousjeni]

My completeness lies only in God. My significant other is a God-given partner whose primary focus is God, not me. If he started focusing too much on me, I'd be worried because I'm not God.

[f8nacn]

Originally Posted by preciousjeni

My completeness lies only in God. My significant other is a God-given partner whose primary focus is God, not me. If he started focusing too much on me, I'd be worried because I'm not God.

I agree with this...100%

[SeriousSigma22]

My completeness lies only in God. . . Ditto! He truly is the only one that can complete us all!

Serioussigma22