New Badge; Alumni Sister; Need Help

[LCAGuy]

Hello Ladies,

This is the fiance of a Phi Mu Alumni. I am an alum of LXA.

Short Backstory: She can't find her badge or our lavaliers. We moved recently and they are simply gone.

Christmas time is here and I have bought her a new pearl/ruby badge because at the end of the day, I'm awesome. It need to be engraved. I know her chapter, I can get her initiation date but one thing remains: her initials.

Since I'm the one having this engraved and we are set to be married, I thought maybe to have her "new" initials engraved rather than her initials at her time of initiation.

Should I have her old initials on there or her soon to be "new" initials engraved?

[Leslie Anne]

What a sweet gift! I'd do the new initials.

ETA: Just realized this is in the Phi Mu board. Sorry for crashing.

[AOII Angel]

Sorry for the crash. The one vintage badge that I got engraved with my info has my initials with my maiden and married name so it says AMFD. It's a thought.

[MysticCat]

Well, I'm crashing too, but here's my $0.02:

I'd probably be inclined to use her unmarried initials, especially if you are giving it to her before you're married. That's the name she was initiated under, those are her initials when the gift is given, and that's still who she will be, even if she takes your name legally. To me, it just seems a little more traditional for some reason. (Perhaps it's because in the part of the cemetery where my family is buried, you see three or four generations of women whose stones use their full maiden names, followed by "wife of . . . .")

One alternative: hold off on the engraving until after Christmas and ask her which she would prefer.

[ADPi95]

I recently ordered a new badge and I went with my new initials.

[SydneyK]

Since it sounds like you won't be married prior to having the badge engraved, I would go with her current initials.

[GolfersLady]

Originally Posted by SydneyK

Since it sounds like you won't be married prior to having the badge engraved, I would go with her current initials.

I agree!

(...and this is a very lovely and thoughtful gift.)

[DeltaBetaBaby]

Unmarried initials. I don't know of anyone who has their married initials on their badge (though my sample size is admittedly small).

[thetygerlily]

I also have my maiden initials on a post-marriage badge, along with my initiation date. I think that's more typical for replacement badges over the years.

Perhaps if you want to tie in your marriage and since she's also missing her lavaliere, you could consider getting a necklace with her letters on one side and her married initials (or even married name) on the other? Some of the Kappa pendants I wear the most are the ones that don't scream Kappa, but still have special significance & the letters are there if you look.

[DubaiSis]

If in 100 years someone is trying to find the owner of this badge, her married name is going to make the search process much harder. I'd go maiden. If you're spelling out her name I'd go Mary Smith Jones, even if that's not how she's officially going to have her name. I don't hyphenate or compound my name but on Facebook, for instance, I use both so that people can find me in a search.

[AOII Angel]

Looks like the consensus is maiden name.

[MysticCat]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

Looks like the consensus is maiden name.

And the one Phi Mu who has posted said maiden name.

[OPhiAGinger]

Originally Posted by AOII Angel

Looks like the consensus is maiden name.

And the other consensus is that LCAGuy is awesome.

[Leslie Anne]

Looks like I was the only one suggesting new initials but the others have convinced me. Go for her current initials.

[Old_Row]

Whatever you decide to do, I think you are a very sweet fiance!