In name only...

[LeslieEMU]

Okay, I mentioned this on the fines board, but what do you do about members who don't go to events but will show up later at the bar/party making up lame excuses about why they couldn't make it earlier. We had a sister last year that racked up dues and fines of nearly $450 (our dues are less than $200)!!! Personally, I don't understand why you'd join a sorority only to say you're a Greek and not share in the sisterhood/brotherhood. Anyone else have similar stories?

[Pike4Life]

Unfortunately, I'm sure EVERYONE has similar stories of similar Brothers/Sisters. At my chapter we have a term for them - a "Whassup Brother" - because you never see them except on campus when you get a head nod and a "What's up" comment. A Whassup Brother is someone who initiates and then disappears from the fraternity scene - doesn't come to meetings, socials, games or anything! Very rarely will they pay dues at all, much less on time!
A Whassup Brother is different than a Slacker Brother, who is the one that ditches all the important things like meetings, community service, etc.; only to be the first in line for a social or be seen at a bar later after a missed event.

[AlphaGam1019]

Geez! They might as well go inactive and save some $. :P

[GmuTeke]

Not only could they save some money, the chapter is obligated to try and pay the money owed to IHQ for their member dues. If they're active, IHQ expects dues, and send the chapter into debt.

------------------
------------------
The Fraternity of Presidents and Kings: TKE

[shadokat]

In matters where you have people who just don't care to show up at events or even pay the fines you impose, I'm sure you have the option to deactivate them. Yes, it's harsh, and yes, it sucks, but why should you pay for the dead weight of someone who isn't participating, isn't paying dues, and isn't contributing to your organizations! Many times, you can write a letter to your headquarters requesting deactivation of the member. I'd advise talking with the brother/sister in question first, and allow them the chance to redeem themselves, but I would be willing to bet that more than 50% of the time, they will go back to being a deadbeat member. It sucks to do, but it does work.

------------------
Delta Phi Epsilon, Celebrating 84 years of Dedication, Pride and Excellence!

[Corbin Dallas]

We dealt with this in the spring. Two brothers lived in the house 2 years, but moved out their senior year. We saw one of them periodically at chapter meetings fall quarter, the other one maybe twice. Winter quarter they both stopped showing up. Spring quarter we finally asked them to quit or become active. The last quarter of their senior year they quit the fraternity. This means they're no longer affiliated. You can't just "go inactive" while you're still an undergrad. If you don't want to be involved, you have to quit, period. These 2 guys are still welcome at the house at alumni functions, since they are still friends with several actives and alumni, but they don't get any other benefits that alumni in good standing get.

------------------
Steve Corbin
Lambda Chi Alpha
Theta Kappa Chapter
Rose-Hulman Inst. of Tech.

[33girl]

Ahh, jacket sisters. Only joined to sport the jacket. You know someone's a jacket sister when the "friends with all the sisters" guy, who practically lives at the house, sees her and says "who in blue blazes is that?"

I agree with what shadokat says, to terminate the dead weight, and we had nationals advise us to do that, but then they also turned around and told us to keep our numbers up. Damned if you do, and damned if you don't.

Also, you need to weigh the intention as much as the action. I've seen sisters who couldn't come to a lot of things, but they always turned in valid excuses, always were contrite that they couldn't be there, and were still there for other sisters. Then I've seen other sisters who may have had the excuses, but didn't seem to be upset and let other sisters down time and time again, emotionally speaking. If a sister's the latter kind, I'd say, don't let the door hit you on the way out.

[AlphaSigLana]

What exactly is the process of deactivating? in early spring one of the juniors in my house deactivated(no one cared bc she never showed up to meetings or socials- I don't mean to sound harsh, but she was a value to the house us freshman were there a lot more). Do you turn in all your letters ? Even the ones you bought?

[LeslieEMU]

Lana...You're supposed to turn in all your letter but most people don't. I hate seeing people who left the sorority over a year ago still walking around in letters...gggrrr!

[33girl]

Originally posted by LeslieEMU:
Lana...You're supposed to turn in all your letter but most people don't. I hate seeing people who left the sorority over a year ago still walking around in letters...gggrrr!

That was why when someone was terminated or self-terminated, we had a couple of sisters go to her place and collect the stuff themselves.

[AlphaSigLana]

Do the girls then disperse the deactivated girls stuff amongst them? Does this mean even pictures of yourself in your sorority? I know it includes car decals. Bc the big of the girl who deactivated was mad bc her little wouldn't take off her car decal. What aboutall the gifts you received from your big? Can't you keep them hidden for memories? I am just curious I am not planning on deactivating unless housing corp causes a lot of trauma this year.LOL

[33girl]

Pictures, I doubt, unless we would find out that someone was displaying them all over her room and telling everyone she was still a sister. We had a thing in our chapter that EVERYTHING your big gave you, even if it didn't have letters on it (for example, we had little enameled pin boxes that your big bought you) you were supposed to give it back, but I think that might have just been our chapter policy. As you can see someone getting to the point where they were terminated was a huge deal!

Don't even mention deactivating girlfriend - I need your ASA company on this board!

[Hootie]

One girl in my chapter had her pledgeship terminated. It was really sad. She had to give back her pledge pin but she kept some things. She and I were good friends...still are. She was nice and gave me a lot of the stuff she had bought with our letters on it. No one MADE her do it though. She just figured why keep it around if she wasn't a part of it anymore.

[shadokat]

When a member deactivates, they are required by our national to forfeit their pin and their certificate that they receive upon initiation. We never go around and collect the other stuff. Most times, they aren't interested in walking around in letters if they aren't active. Of course, we go to a small school, so if someone deactivated, everyone would know!! We never had anyone in my chapter do so, but it's happened at other chapters. Sometimes girls will give their stuff to others in the group, but the only official thing is the pin and the certificate.

If someone depledges though, we get everything back. It's her big sister's responsibility to go and get all of the stuff back, including her new member pin and ribbon, and if she wants the gifts she gave her back, then that stuff too. Some bigs do and some don't.

[finest_alum]

We have a "financially inactive" status available, where, if a sister is having financial hardship she can deactivate, temporarily, from the house. She is not allowed to participate in any events (including Chapter, etc) but is still a member of the house.
If a sister decides to permanently deactivate (disaffiliate) she signs a form stating that she is no longer a part of the sorority. She is required to return her pin and certificate. However, since the sister actually pays (and they aren't cheap) for the pin, i don't know how often the house actually gets it back.

We had some people disaffiliate, no one ever raided their rooms or took their 'nalia back... even nm's. I think it's pretty ridiculous to try to take back letters, t-shirts, pictures, etc. that the woman paid for during her membership.