Can a lower tier frat mix with higher tier sorority?

[boyyy]

Hello everyone,

I just help start a fraternity on my large urban campus where greek life dominates the social scene with around 27 active fraternities 13 sororities. While we are not the smallest fraternity and are rapidly growing to 40 guys, we are starting to develop relationships with some lower sororities but are doing well considering we just started and do not have a house. How hard would it be to develop relationships with the higher tier ones especially because we are lower tier and they may think that their "status" drops? What are some ways to start this relationship?

Thanks

[GreekOne]

Congratulations on the start of what will prove to be a very exciting time for you!

One of the things that I despise about that sophomoric Greek Rank website is that it has created these "tiers". When I was in school in the 80s (pre internet) there was no such thing. Everyone mixed with everyone else. No one went through rush knowing which chapter was ranked "top tier" and which were "middle tier". You went where you felt comfortable and enjoyed your membership without feeling somehow blemished by which tier others thought that you fell into.

That being said, there was always a social pecking order. There were houses that tended to attract more of the "pretty people", and it was natural to want to mix with those boys. However, the houses that I enjoyed the most were the ones with the guys that were nice, respectful and fun.

The way to ingratiate your chapter with the women that you want to spend time with is to make an effort. Have your social chair reach out to theirs and ask how they put their calendar together. Since you don't have a house, do you socialize elsewhere? Perhaps you could invite a group to do a charity event together or go apple picking, etc.

If your members are fun to be around and treat them well, they will come to see you as more than a "tier". You will become actual friends with members in the chapter and they will look forward to shared events.

Your best bet is to get the "tier" nonsense out of your head and realize that no group is better than you are. Invite women to socialize from every single chapter and see what happens.

[boyyy]

Originally Posted by GreekOne

Congratulations on the start of what will prove to be a very exciting time for you!

One of the things that I despise about that sophomoric Greek Rank website is that it has created these "tiers". When I was in school in the 80s (pre internet) there was no such thing. Everyone mixed with everyone else. No one went through rush knowing which chapter was ranked "top tier" and which were "middle tier". You went where you felt comfortable and enjoyed your membership without feeling somehow blemished by which tier others thought that you fell into.

That being said, there was always a social pecking order. There were houses that tended to attract more of the "pretty people", and it was natural to want to mix with those boys. However, the houses that I enjoyed the most were the ones with the guys that were nice, respectful and fun.

The way to ingratiate your chapter with the women that you want to spend time with is to make an effort. Have your social chair reach out to theirs and ask how they put their calendar together. Since you don't have a house, do you socialize elsewhere? Perhaps you could invite a group to do a charity event together or go apple picking, etc.

If your members are fun to be around and treat them well, they will come to see you as more than a "tier". You will become actual friends with members in the chapter and they will look forward to shared events.

Your best bet is to get the "tier" nonsense out of your head and realize that no group is better than you are. Invite women to socialize from every single chapter and see what happens.

How do you go about contacting their social chair? My school does not carry the contact information of the social chairs. Our best bet is presidents emails but i'm not sure how often they check their sorority email

[GreekOne]

Originally Posted by boyyy

How do you go about contacting their social chair? My school does not carry the contact information of the social chairs. Our best bet is presidents emails but i'm not sure how often they check their sorority email

Send them a message via their social media accounts. Be sincere and creative and see what happens. Or if you have class with a member of that group, start a conversation about getting together. Introduce yourself and ask for contact information. These women are not mythical creatures. They are hoping to meet new people and have fun just like you are.

[ASTalumna06]

Originally Posted by boyyy

Hello everyone,

I just help start a fraternity on my large urban campus where greek life dominates the social scene with around 27 active fraternities 13 sororities. While we are not the smallest fraternity and are rapidly growing to 40 guys, we are starting to develop relationships with some lower sororities but are doing well considering we just started and do not have a house. How hard would it be to develop relationships with the higher tier ones especially because we are lower tier and they may think that their "status" drops? What are some ways to start this relationship?

Thanks

QFP

[PhilTau]

From a decades-old perspective, the mindset of the OP is rather depressing.

1) Though the concept of "tier" probably seems very real to you - it is really just some BS made up by a website developer to make money. You and your chapter will likely be happier and more successful socially if you start fining members each time they use the term "tier".

2) Best advice is to try to socialize with the sororities that are the most fun to be around. Your chapter will regret not doing this.

3) What you seem to be asking is how to social climb. Well -- here's the big shocker. After you leave college and take a low level job in the big city with your hot, top tier sorority girlfriend or wife, you will quickly discover that the surnames of many of the members of the sororities you now call "lower" will be on the most prominent and successful businesses in the area. Don't ask me why - it is just so.

4) Don't expect people on this site to be very receptive to your inquiry.

[boyyy]

Tiers are BS but some sororities seem more entitled than others. I don't necessarily want to mix with the prettier girls but rather grow our social presence in general

[carnation]

Well, some fraternities act more entitled than others!

[honeychile]

I'll probably regret this, but I'll bite.

When I was in school, something worked well for a somewhat small to medium sized Greek system.

One fraternity wanted to improve their reputation among the sororities on campus. They were great guys, but were just not "stars" among the Greek Galaxy. They started "Kiss and (Fraternity Flower)" on Bid Night. Obviously, this couldn't be done on Bid Night now, but they have a flower for every New Member, and each was also welcomed to the Greek System with a kiss.

I doubt that it could be done in quite the same way now, but it was really a cute idea - campy, but fun. It could be tweaked to each campus, I'm sure.

[Kevin]

Originally Posted by boyyy

Tiers are BS but some sororities seem more entitled than others. I don't necessarily want to mix with the prettier girls but rather grow our social presence in general

Just mix with who wants to mix with you. This ain't rocket science. And are you telling me in the days of Snapchat, Insta and Facebook that you can't get a social chair's contact information? That seems absurd.

Can you not approach a member of that organization either in person or online and ask for the contact information of the social chair?

Actually no, follow none of my advice. You need to talk to your on campus advisers. I don't know how your campus works, none of us really do, but since you did say how many fraternities and sororities exist on your urban campus, you probably gave away what school you go to and what chapter you belong to. People on GC have lots of time on their hands.

And settle down.. don't be obsessed with where you're climbing. If you're getting members you can form strong personal relationships with, you're doing it right. If you're getting the President of the Student Body/HS Star Quarterback who turns out to be a complete douchecanoe, then you're doing it wrong.

[PhilTau]

Originally Posted by boyyy

Tiers are BS but some sororities seem more entitled than others. I don't necessarily want to mix with the prettier girls but rather grow our social presence in general

I like this question much better.

Since new fraternity = not very much $ for social activities, I offer this suggestion:

Offer to help a particular sorority with their charity work or event. Then, if they accept, be sure to have everyone in your chapter show up en masse at the event prepared to stay all day and work hard along with the sorority. Benefits are as follows: 1) doesn't cost anything; 2) they get to see you as a group; 3) you have a better opportunity to get to know them; 4) the ice (so to speak) will be broken; 5) they will be seeing you in a good light (i.e., sober); 6) you will be mixing with them longer than at some lame party you might throw; 7) they can see how cool and enterprising you all are; 8) you will be with them long enough to learn their names; 9) their drunk, lazy-ass boyfriends won't likely be there; and 10) it doesn't cost anything.

Good luck.

PS - Bypass the sorority's social chair. Instead - contact the sorority's committee in charge of their charity stuff.

[weltzinm]

Originally Posted by boyyy

Hello everyone,

I just help start a fraternity on my large urban campus where greek life dominates the social scene with around 27 active fraternities 13 sororities. While we are not the smallest fraternity and are rapidly growing to 40 guys, we are starting to develop relationships with some lower sororities but are doing well considering we just started and do not have a house. How hard would it be to develop relationships with the higher tier ones especially because we are lower tier and they may think that their "status" drops? What are some ways to start this relationship?

Thanks

Does your campus have greek week? We partner with a different sororities for greek week every year. We usually build a reputation and relationships with sororities that way! every year we partner with a larger sorority

[Tom Earp]

Funny having been through the same thing as a founder of a local where there were 5 Fraternities and four Sororities.

We we were virtually the lost group that no one even wanted.

We did our best to become known on campus buy eating in a group at the student center with our logos on. We also did the same at all sporting events or other school events possible. Got a house to rent our second semester, got our letters up to show we were there to stay and a place to meet and invite lady friends. Asked sororities to go on a run out with us for a fun event or two. Got a lot of thanks but no thanks, LOL!

Then some of the guys met girls from the sororities and it slowly built from there!

We did have some kick ass partys and word got out. So when asked some to go on run outs they decided to go. History was made after that!!!

It takes time! Be known as nice guys who are not stupid and childish, showing respect. Run outs, pool places (game, not swiming), rollar skating, bowling. May sound corny but fun events.

Good luck and PM me if you wish!!!