Unsuccessful fall rush at Alabama, questions about possible spring rush. Advice?

[Bamarushee]

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[gee_ess]

Sorry that rush did not work out as you had hoped. I cannot speak with any sort of authority on Bama rush, but I would encourage you to read several of the threads on GC that deal with spring rush, disappointing rush results, re-rushing, etc.
I think you will find a lot of answers there and definitely some advice and consolation regarding your situation.

Hang in there!

[KSUViolet06]

Random question: did you have recommendations?

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by Bamarushee

I did for half of the sororities. I can understand being dropped from the ones I did not have recs for...but i was dropped from all of the ones I did have recs for before I was dropped from the others.

I was asking because sometimes girls have NONE and didn't even know you needed them. Having a rec doesn't really = not being cut. You have to think about the fact that almost everyone else has them too.

[phimusam]

Your being dropped hardly ever means that a sorority dropped YOU - just that they were limited for each round in how many they could invite back, pref, or bid, and they filled to the limit before they got to your name. So please don't beat yourself up or lose confidence in yourself. I don't know about COB at Bama or spring rush or exactly how going through fall rush again is going to work. I do know that if you throw yourself into going to class and studies and finding some way to serve the community around you, you are more likely to find your place and that may be in or out of a Greek letter organization.

[AOEforme]

Originally Posted by Bamarushee

It's just hard because I feel like I don't fit in anywhere. I feel like I wasn't good enough, and I can't see the difference between me and the girls who could have any sorority they choose. Going to a school with such a huge greek life it's devastating to not be chosen by anyone :/ It hurts.

I really truly understand your pain. Rejection sucks, especially at such a Greek-Dominated School.

But you weren't "not chosen by anyone". You did have one sorority left at preference. There were so many women who would have loved to have that opportunity.

On that flip side, that chapter was probably equally crushed. You may have been the rush crush of a girl in that chapter who was just as heartbroken as you.

I hope you get involved in school and wish you the best of luck.

[33girl]

I have to agree with the above post. There were most likely girls who were dropped by ALL the sororities long before preference night.

Let the Greek Life office know that you are interested in COB or in any sororities that might be taking girls in the spring.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by Bamarushee

It's just hard because I feel like I don't fit in anywhere. I feel like I wasn't good enough, and I can't see the difference between me and the girls who could have any sorority they choose. Going to a school with such a huge greek life it's devastating to not be chosen by anyone :/ It hurts.

You have to understand how many women go through recruitment there and how few spots are available in comparison. There are probably many other girls just like you that had one sorority left (or none at all) by pref, and that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, or them. There are so, so many reasons you might have been dropped, so don't assume it's because you weren't "good enough" or that no one liked you.

Most of my friends from high school went to either Alabama or Auburn, and I can definitely understand feeling like you HAVE to be Greek at Bama, because it seems so important. But most of those most of those were not Greek and had an awesome time regardless. It's a huge campus and 70% of women on campus aren't Greek. You'll be able to find a group, Greek or not, that is a good fit for you. Spend this semester meeting as many people as possible and finding a group of friends that you feel at home with. (And, of course, concentrating on your academics. First, because that's the real reason you're there, and second because if you are still interested in Greek life you will need good grades from your first semester.) Then if you still are interested in Greek Life next semester, call the Greek Life office and ask them for information on COBs.

Also remember that one chapter did want you at their pref party. If that wasn't the chapter for you, that's fine, but some women get dropped by everyone, and one chapter on campus was interested in you!

Good luck!

[KSUViolet06]

I avoided that point because I didn't want to be the "meanie" who pointed it out.

We are sorry you are hurt, but to be honest, you COULD be at a retreat right now.

Would it have been the retreat of your most favorite chapter? No. But you'd have a bid and could at least be seeing if it's something you were interested in.

It's a moot point now, as I'm sure you have your reasons and you're entitled to them. I have heard that some Bama sororities have spring recruitment, but that depends on the number of spring openings they have, and whether they choose to fill them via COB or just wait until formal.

It all depends on the numbers. Keep in mind that chapters are reporting NM classes of over 100 women at this point so spring recruitment is not a guarantee.

The Greek Life Office will probably know more about that once it gets closer to spring.

Good luck to you!

[als463]

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

I avoided that point because I didn't want to be the "meanie" who pointed it out.

We are sorry you are hurt, but to be honest, you COULD be at a retreat right now.

Would it have been the retreat of your most favorite chapter? No. But you'd have a bid and could at least be seeing if it's something you were interested in.

It's a moot point now, as I'm sure you have your reasons and you're entitled to them. I have heard that some Bama sororities have spring recruitment, but that depends on the number of spring openings they have, and whether they choose to fill them via COB or just wait until formal.

It all depends on the numbers. Keep in mind that chapters are reporting NM classes of over 100 women at this point so spring recruitment is not a guarantee.

The Greek Life Office will probably know more about that once it gets closer to spring.

Good luck to you!

Freakin' THANK YOU, KSUViolet for saying it! I don't feel the least bit sorry for the OP. Bama has one of the hardest freaking rushes. There were girls who weren't asked back to preference ANYWHERE. You had your chance. You blew it. Please don't assume that you will magically be asked to join the sisterhood of your choice (your #1) if you go through spring recruitment. The simple fact that ANY sorority at Bama asked you back to preference and you chose to turn them down (by not "seeing" yourself there) means you are acting like a spoiled child. If I feel sorry for anyone, it's the chapter you chose to ignore by not attending their preference.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by als463

Freakin' THANK YOU, KSUViolet for saying it! I don't feel the least bit sorry for the OP. Bama has one of the hardest freaking rushes. There were girls who weren't asked back to preference ANYWHERE. You had your chance. You blew it. Please don't assume that you will magically be asked to join the sisterhood of your choice (your #1) if you go through spring recruitment. The simple fact that ANY sorority at Bama asked you back to preference and you chose to turn them down (by not "seeing" yourself there) means you are acting like a spoiled child. If I feel sorry for anyone, it's the chapter you chose to ignore by not attending their preference.

She added recently that she did at least go to the party, and then decided to drop out.

I have told PNM's that unless they feel very uncomfortable with the chapter, they should accept the bid and give the chapter a chance. But if they truly do not feel comfortable at that house, it's ok to drop out.

Though dropping out in order to depend on a COB in the spring from a favorite chapter really is a horrible idea. That's a huge, huge gamble that likely will not pay off.

ETA: Thinking back on my own experience as a PNM on a campus with five chapters and I know that had I been left with only one choice, there are two chapters I would still not have joined, because I did not fit in at all. (Though I certainly would've gone to the parties. I have manners. ). But that leaves 3 counting my own in which I could've been happy in reality, though I single preferenced at the time. I think that sometimes PNM's just don't see it.

[als463]

Originally Posted by Alumiyum

She added recently that she did at least go to the party, and then decided to drop out.

I have told PNM's that unless they feel very uncomfortable with the chapter, they should accept the bid and give the chapter a chance. But if they truly do not feel comfortable at that house, it's ok to drop out.

Though dropping out in order to depend on a COB in the spring from a favorite chapter really is a horrible idea. That's a huge, huge gamble that likely will not pay off.

I still don't feel bad for her. I commented in another thread this week that I wish girls would see the prize in front of their eyes. Bama is a tough school to go through recruitment. The fact that ANY chapter wanted her, on such a competitive campus, says something. Let's say she doesn't get to go through spring recruitment because everyone does so well that they don't really need it...then what? She will then be a sophomore attempting to get a bid.

She didn't even go into recruitment whole-heartedly. She went in half-assed because she even said she didn't get recs. for all of the houses. She should feel grateful she was asked back to that preference. I don't feel the least bit sorry for her. You put in minimal effort and you get poor results, in return. Oh, well.

[Alumiyum]

Originally Posted by als463

I still don't feel bad for her. I commented in another thread this week that I wish girls would see the prize in front of their eyes. Bama is a tough school to go through recruitment. The fact that ANY chapter wanted her, on such a competitive campus, says something. Let's say she doesn't get to go through spring recruitment because everyone does so well that they don't really need it...then what? She will then be a sophomore attempting to get a bid.

She didn't even go into recruitment whole-heartedly. She went in half-assed because she even said she didn't get recs. for all of the houses. She should feel grateful she was asked back to that preference. I don't feel the least bit sorry for her. You put in minimal effort and you get poor results, in return. Oh, well.

I'm not saying I feel sorry for her, I'm just saying that if the PNM goes through recruitment until the end and is left with one choice that they have a solid reason for not wanting to join, then sure, drop out. If they feel at all comfortable, then they will probably be happy in the chapter once they start the new member period, but if they truly feel uncomfortable there's no point in wasting their money and everyone's time.

[Drolefille]

I'm sorry, I'd like to know how joining a chapter that is not your favorite, or even one you might not feel a connection to, in any way similar to marrying an addict, abuser, or an adulterer?

/offensive.

[33girl]

Those are probably the same women who wouldn't date the "nice guys" and only liked "bad boys." If they would have given the "nice guys" a chance, they would have been SO SO SO HAPPEEEEEEE!

Yeah, after my recent experience with a self-described "nice guy" who turned out to be a flaming a-hole, I didn't even want to touch that part of the post for fear of going off. Thanks for the partial diffusal.