Rebel Mom

[Rebel Mom]

Hi~ I have a daughter going through recruitment during fall 2017. I was not Greek in school so I really don't know what to expect. My daughter has recs and a good resume but I have heard how competitive recruitment is at Ole Miss, so I will freely admit that I'm worried to death! Looking for insight!

[ladybug12]

As you have probably seen numerous times on this board, if your daughter does not decide before recruitment that "I will only pledge CC or XYZ" she stands a good chance of getting a bid.
With the addition of 2 sororities within the past 5-6 years, plus the fact that there are more out of state women going through recruitment compared to Mississippi girls...the dynamics are slowly shifting a bit.
(I do know that a lot of out of state PNMs are legacies to parents who went to Ole Miss 20+ years ago...and times have changed since then IMO.)

[thetalady]

Rebel Mom-

HOTTY TODDY!!!! Welcome to Ole Miss!! Rush there is really rough, but she can get a bid IF she refuses to listen to or participate in the catty tent talk. Tell her not to get in her head that she absolutely HAS to be in a certain chapter.

Glad to hear that she has her recs in place and hopefully her high school grades were really good. Is she in state or out of state? Does she know any active members at Ole Miss already? Even if she is from out of state, she CAN have a very successful rush. I hope you will come back & let us know what happens.

[SAMKD]

Welcome, welcome! I was in your shoes last year - here's wishing you and your daughter the best and least stressful recruitment possible. You've probably seen it here already, but wine helps. Will you be going to Oxford at some point?

[NYCMS]

Hi Rebel Mom!

First, best wishes to your daughter...while Ole Miss rush is super tough, as others have noted, she can indeed have a good rush and find a home if she is open minded and accepts every invitation she gets. I've had several friends whose daughters have rushed at Ole Miss over the past 5 years, including two who rushed last year so perhaps my experience can help. Apologies for the length of this but there are many points I think are important.

Note: I don't know if you're from out of state (or even in-state) with no connections or if you're heavily connected, so I will write in generalities, mostly toward anyone rushing without connections since connections are so key at a Greek-intensive school. Some tips are general, some are Ole Miss specific.

1) Be open-minded as everyone says. Because Ole Miss is so competitive, every house has great girls and many mid-tier and lower-tier houses would be considered top-tier at a less competitive school. But you do have to "work harder" to get noticed at Ole Miss due to the sheer numbers of girls going through rush and that most girls also have great resumes, grades, etc.
2) Ignore the tent talk - she will hear girls bashing every house on campus - saying rude things about the Miss. Houses (top tier), saying rude things about lower-tier, and everything in between. This is super true at Ole Miss.
3) If she is out of state or even in-state with no connections, she should realize that her odds of getting into a top tier house (Chi O, DDD and KD) are greatly reduced since they have to cut the fastest and they already know the girls they're interested in; this can also be true for some mid-tier houses. I say this not to be negative but because a friend's daughter who rushed last year - from way out of state with no connections - was devastated when DDD and KD cut her after the first round. She said "But they were so nice and liked me". Yes, the best rushers make everyone feel welcome and wanted - that's their job! And it's not personal. Anyone without strong connections are almost always cut although there are a few exceptions.
4) IT'S NOT PERSONAL! Cuts are almost never personal...there are so many reasons girls are cut - they didn't impress enough girls in the house so they don't have girls pushing for them to get to the next round. Perhaps they were a bit quiet and didn't leave a strong enough impression. And it's a numbers game. This is really, really true at Ole Miss.
5) Take every single invitation she gets...she will see girls drop out because they didn't get back to top and even mid-tier houses. DON'T DO THIS!! She will also see girls who don't think they have a connection to anyone in a house, so they won't want to accept a bid or even go that house for pref. With 300-400 girls in every house she is bound to find girls she likes. You meet so few girls during rush due to the huge number that it's sometimes hard to really get a sense of connection. Again, this is super true at Ole Miss where Greek life is so valued.
6) Don't pay attention to the number of parties she gets back to. Let's say that Round 3 has a maximum of 7 parties and that your daughter only gets back to 5. Yet she knows girls getting back to all 7. IT DOES NOT MATTER! All that matters is that she keeps going to parties. It only takes ONE house that wants her to get a bid. My friend's daughter from last year had fewer than the max parties for a few rounds yet she got into a house she loves.
7) ACCEPT A BID even if she's unsure. So many girls wind up loving the house they got in, even if they weren't sure. Rushing as a sophomore is rarely ever successful at OM, especially since many houses have a "once cut, always cut" policy (some girls think they would work so they drop out).
8) Lastly, she can find a home. The out of state girl with no connections got a fantastic house and even though it's considered a "lower tier" house, it is packed with great girls and all that matters is that she loves it.

I wish you daughter all the best. Please keep us posted, we're rooting for her!

[LuvMyPNM]

Great advice ^^^. Keep in mind they'll be doing variable quota again this year at Ole Miss which means the houses with high return rates will be cutting HARD the first round. She should be prepared for that. All the best!! Every house there is fantastic and being part of Greek life is more than the place you have lunch - it's a sisterhood for now and for always.

[Midwestmom]

My daughter went through rush this year at a non-SEC school and I was a mess. All the best to you!

[Rebel Mom]

Thank you everyone for the replies! My daughter is hearing the horror stories about the hard cuts the sororities are forced to make due to variable quota – She had several friends who rushed at Mississippi State~ who by any standard would be considered an A-list top-quality rushee~ yet, were released from their legacy chapter after the first round. I understand there was a lot of bitterness among the actives and the alumnae over who he should stay and who should be released. So I am beginning to understand that often times it is not personal – there are just so many spots that can be given to ffill a pledge class – and way too many legacies for the chapters to have to deal with. It's easy to see that by definition, people are going to get hurt. My daughter is in a Bible study with a wonderful mentor – she said to my daughter recently "Remember – you are NOT a victim. You know the "risk" of putting yourself out there – and that it may not end well. In the end, you are making a choice". At first I thought that was harsh, but my daughter seems to be at peace with the idea that it may not end well, but she is willing to take the risk. She is very realistic about her slim chances with the "top-tier "chapters and is willing (and open-minded) about being open to finding a home in a place that she never expected. I won't lie – I am very scared for her, but I do think she understands the process now, so at least she won't be blindsided. That doesn't mean, of course, that she won't get hurt, which is every mother's nightmare. I just have to trust that she will land where she was meant to be. Thank you so much for all the feedback!

[NYCMS]

Hi Rebel Mom,

Glad to hear that your daughter is better prepared - it really will help. Also knowing that she isn't choosing - the houses do the picking - is important to know as well since some girls think they do

As for legacy cuts, I support that because chapters should take the girls they like best whether they're a legacy or not. It also is better news for non-legacies since that leaves more room for them!

And variable quota has meant even Ole Miss legacies are being cut which made last year's rush a shocker for so many. At least girls know better what to expect this year. Still will be hard, though.

And I wish her (and you!) well. Please keep us posted.

[SAMKD]

Hey RebelMom, thinking about you and your daughter as Sunday's start to rush grows closer. Best wishes to you both and for your daughter to find her Greek home with the minimum of stress for all concerned.

[Loyally Kappa]

Hello RebelMom!

All the best to your daughter. Rush has become so complicated, but if she stays open-minded, she will find a home at Ole Miss. I've taught here for years, and all sororities are equally strong. Forget about the tiers and life becomes much easier.

[choabet]

Expect variable quote to be brutal, but it is in the best interest of everyone. It's pretty simple for your daughter RebelMom; she either wants to be part of the greek system and will be happy with a bid (which if she has the grade requirement, got recs and has no problem with reputation she is almost certain to get something) from ANY house or not be part of the greek system. Easier said than done if she is from a big southern city and has come to school with a lot of girls from private high school. A lot easier if she is from way out of state and doesn't have the notion about what is perceived best. Reality: they are all great and she will have a great time. However if she is gunning for something that might be out of reach through no fault of her own, you may be in for a long week.

The picture will become a lot clearer going into sisterhood round.

PM me if you have specific questions you may not be comfortable asking out loud. Good luck! I have helped 5 Ole Miss girls this summer and they are going to be all across the board.

My advice to you is to start drinking heavily ~John Blutarsky

[MysticCat]

I laughed when I saw that you quoted Bluto, choabet, because when I read this:

Originally Posted by choabet

Reality: they are all great . . . .

I heard this in my head:

Dean Wormer: Greg, what is the worst fraternity on this campus?
Greg: That would be hard to say, sir. They're each outstanding in their own way.
Dean Wormer: Cut the horsesh*t, son.

/tangent

Good luck, RebelMom.

[NYCMS]

Originally Posted by choabet

Expect variable quote to be brutal, but it is in the best interest of everyone. It's pretty simple for your daughter RebelMom; she either wants to be part of the greek system and will be happy with a bid (which if she has the grade requirement, got recs and has no problem with reputation she is almost certain to get something) from ANY house or not be part of the greek system. Easier said than done if she is from a big southern city and has come to school with a lot of girls from private high school. A lot easier if she is from way out of state and doesn't have the notion about what is perceived best. Reality: they are all great and she will have a great time. However if she is gunning for something that might be out of reach through no fault of her own, you may be in for a long week.

Spot on. If only ever PNM (at every school) saw it this way. And so agree about the two types of PNMs you described. Still painful for the OOS girl with no connections as I experienced last year with a friend's daughter but because she was a total "sorority novice" she was just happy to get a bid and she loves her house. I sometimes think they have it "easier", if that makes sense, than the girls who come en masse from somewhere like Jackson Prep, even though they have connections. So much pressure to pledge together - I remember two gals (best friends and roommates) who ranked the same house as first choice. One got it (even though she truly wanted her other house but she wanted to pledge with her friend) the other didn't and bid day was a hot mess.

Rebel Mom, good luck to your daughter (and you!).

[stef831]

Hi Rebel Mom and Welcome!!

My daughter is a Theta at Ole Miss and a junior- she unfortunately is not in Oxford this term as she is studying abroad but she absolutely LOVES it!! I will echo every sentiment here by all of the other more knowledgeable people. She MUST go in with an open mind and be willing to accept whatever she gets on her lists throughout the week. ALL of the chapters at Ole Miss are wonderful but rush is VERY tough indeed. She will do fine if she keeps this in mind and will likely get a bid if she is open to the process and willing to see it through till the end.

See your PM's - I sent you one. Best of luck to her and to you- Keep us posted.