To reasearch or not research?!

[prettygyrl]

I had a very ummmmmmmmmm shall a say interesting encounter with this woman last week. She is a member of one of the illustrious nphc soroities. Anyway...........I was at the beauty shop about a week ago and as I was sitting under the hair dryer(we all know that is a long process) reading The Divine Nine. This woman was sitting next to me, and when she realized what I was reading she said let me see that. She snatched it out of my hand before I could even respond. She quickly flipped to the pages to find the section on her sorority, then she kind of threw the book back to me and said "I would never read that bulls**t. Now being that I am trying to be a much nicer and more understandable person than in the past, I disregarded her attitude and began to read my book. She proceeded to tell me that reading that book was pointless if I am interested in a sorority because everyones pledge processes are different. Using as much verbal restraint as I could, I politely told her that the book was not about peoples pledge processes, it was was just a brief little history about each greek org and a couple of interviews with members. She said that most of the info is probably wrong and she does not see the point in books like that nor all the websites that publish info because she said that some of the info was probably wrong in other books and on websites, even the national one. She went on to say how if she knew someone was interested in her org and she saw them reading that book, and she asked them a ques about her org and they got it wrong she would whoop their a**. Now at this point it is obvious to me that she was a little upset that I was reading this book and that she was a tad bit on the ignorant side talking about how she would whoop on someone. I told her that unless someone is on line I really do not understand why a MEMBER of an org would ask them any questions about their org, especially with intent to fight if they answered wrong. I asked her how does one choose the right org for him or her if they do not do their research? Her response was that one should go to school and see which group that they click with. She said thats what she did, she said she did no research she just met the girls on campus and they became friends and thats how she chose her org. I was trying to end this convo at this point because people were starting to look and listen and it was really silly. I told her that the book was published for anyone to buy it and if her org did not want their history published I am sure that he could not have published it. I told her that I am sure her meant no disrespect to anyone. I told her that some greek org have other books published for anyone who is interested to read. I also told her that most greeks that I have come across have directed interests to websites and books. I told her that RESEARCH is one thing that most greeks I have come across have stressed. So finally she just said that she still do not think its necessary because books and websites can not tell you everything and the people who write them could be wrong. She said she had no interest in no one elses greek org. so she would never read The Divine Nine, and she said no one other than the members of her org should be concerned with her orgs history..................


This really wigged me out. I have never met nor talked to any greek that did not want you to research their org if you are interested. I mean this lady actually got upset with me because I was reading this book, I just did not get it. She kept her attitude with me for the rest of my time there. I kept reading my book. She was probably in her late twenties or very early thirties. I just think she is too old to be acting like that. She took offense to my reading the book like I was trying to find out her orgs secrets or something. geez! Some people need to lighten up

[ZChi4Life]

Ok I'm not in a NPHC org, but I gotta comment.
This is for that lady you talked to--

So let me get this straight--she said even the info on the NATIONAL website is probably wrong??!! What kinda crap is that? Geez! Now that is truly a first. I've never heard of anything like that before. That was really silly of her to say something like that. And then get mad at YOU like YOU were the one that put the info out there! Haha! I mean, why would greek orgs waste their time putting out the WRONG info? Then tell interests to look at the websites beforehand if they are interested in their org?? If orgs did that on a constant basis, do you know how upset interested people would be once they found out? Why would we risk the chance of possibly losing good candidates cuz WE put out the wrong info that WE told them to research!? Well wait--did she think the "wrong" info was put out on purpose or that there was just mistakes that didn't get caught? And then she said she didn't do ANY research prior to becoming a member of her org? How do you know she was in a sorority? Was she wearing letters or something? If not, she probably was someone that was rejected because she didn't do her research before hand! LOL! Just kidding, I really don't know what her dilly was. But strange things do happen. Well YOU know what YOU gotta do and you've heard what the majority has said about doing research, so nevermind her. She is definitely in the minority!

[prettygyrl]

I was wondering the same thing. She had her letters on the front of her car. Keychains and she told me where she came in at. She tripped me out. She is a perfect example of someone that might deter someone that was interested in her sorority, especially if they were not researching. Thats one reason why it is so important to do research so when you run into crazy people like her you know that the org that you choose stands for alot more than the crap she was talking. You know what I mean?

[Finer Woman10-A-91]

Although, I do not totally agree with the outlook homegirl had on researching, she is correct about the content of Divine Nine. there are MAJOR errors in that book. And there is information that should not be in there at all.

The author took a few liberties that many NPHC Greeks do not agree with at all. But, at least he tried. There are some biases. But again, he made the effort...and a lot of money while doing it.

Continue your research. Contrary to popular belief, its NOT about what is only going on in the chapter on your campus..its about the ENTIRE organization. At best we only spend a few years in our collegiate chapters, the rest of our lives in Greekdom are spent in graduate chapters, comprised of women and men from all over the world....not just the people who made us and were made with us.

Do not be frustrated. Some people just have a very narrow view on membership. You should have asked her if she was active in a grad chapter. On second thought don't do that...she might have become offended by your asking.

Peace

Originally posted by prettygyrl:
I was wondering the same thing. She had her letters on the front of her car. Keychains and she told me where she came in at. She tripped me out. She is a perfect example of someone that might deter someone that was interested in her sorority, especially if they were not researching. Thats one reason why it is so important to do research so when you run into crazy people like her you know that the org that you choose stands for alot more than the crap she was talking. You know what I mean?

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Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Incorporated...Every Finer Woman's Dream!

[This message has been edited by Finer Woman10-A-91 (edited August 27, 2000).]

Originally posted by prettygyrl:
This woman was sitting next to me, and when she realized what I was reading she said let me see that. She snatched it out of my hand before I could even respond. She quickly flipped to the pages to find the section on her sorority, then she kind of threw the book back to me.

If someone was so rude as to SNATCH a book that I WAS READING out of my hands WITHOUT MY PERMISSION, I would snatch it right back and say, "Excuse me...I was reading THAT!".

[AKA2D '91]

Prettygyrl...

I think you handled the situation like a champ! I am sure it was hard to remain civilized! I hope that the female was not a member of the organization you are interested in. If so, remember that she is only ONE of many! And everyone DOES not have the same ideology or tact or lack of like sistergirl!

And for Kuu Kuu ( I like that name), I would not recommend "snatching" anything! This is a VERY SMALL WORLD!

Prettygyrl handled it the way a "pretty girl" should!

[Finer Woman10-A-91]

How many books went to press on your first printing? If you got a bum deal on a hard back of 512 pages, ewww...Sorry to hear that. I have a ton of friends who are also published writers, and they are doing quite well. Perhaps by your 3rd printing, it will be all flow.

I do understand that a first time writer is not going to get the best deal. I read you reached the the top 20 on the west cost on a best sellers list (forgive me for not remembering which newspaper). I look forward to the subsequent printings with corrections.

Originally posted by alpha1906:
And as for making a ton of money from the book, respectfully sister, there is a reason that there is the term "poor, struggling, writers." You would be amazed how little we actually make from books. Unless you are on Oprah (and if anyone knows someone at Oprah...:-P)

I wish everyone nothing but a good fraternal year, and soon I will post my fall college campus, so that if you want to get your book signed, I will be happy to sign it. If you email me privately, I'll send you the tentative schedule.

Thanks all, and I enjoyed reading the conversations!

Lawrence C. Ross, Jr.
The Divine Nine: The History of African American Fraternities and Sororities.

alpha1906@mediaone.net

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Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Incorporated...Every Finer Woman's Dream!

[tickledpink]

Originally posted by alpha1906:

...don't be discouraged by the encounter you had with the sister... Ignore her and continue on your own quest. But remember her and once you have finished your quest and are a member of a sorority, remember her and try to stamp out that ignorance wherever you find it.

I was going to respond to you prettygyrl (and say that the sista obviously has some issues), but I think my brother and soror AKA2D'91 has said it best.

Lawrence, once again, skee-phi and thank you for taking the time to respond to prettygyrl's post.

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>>>"Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised... Proverbs 31:29-30

[This message has been edited by tickledpink (edited August 27, 2000).]

[Ice Cold Kreator]

Brother Ross,
Thank you for clearing up misconceptions.

Prettygyrl,
continue to research.
People are always going to have objections to this or that, but do what you can to learn as much as you can...and don't just be informed about the sorority that you want to join only. Learn about the rich history of the entire movement..

It's beautiful, eloquent...and awe-inspiring...

I was at a show Brother Ross did at CAU and saw how folks were acting when they thought that he had leaked privy information. It wasn't, in fact. You can pick up books across the land to find the same information...They were just upset over nothing...

I think that you should really pay close attention about what chapters and people say about the organizations.

Brother Lawrence, I think it would be a good idea to have a follow up book that devoted more time to brothers and sisters chapters and what they have done (or not done)...

It was very interesting...(have you thought about doing a documentary)...I don't know if that has been done yet?

I am proud to say as a Greek and Fellow Brother of Lawrence Ross, I was happy that someone had done what needed to be done...

When I was in college (96) a history prof made me write a 35 page research paper on this same topic (At the time, I was Anti-Greek b/c of what I had heard and what I assumed happened in Greek Orgs having been soured by them via Spike Lee's School DAZE)...however, I fell in love with the idea and the movement when I read about all the accomplishments, and service initiatives started by these movers and shakers...I especially was Awe-STRUCK by ALPHA...After that, I had OLD GOLD FEVER..The Rest is history...(This Is A LOng WAy of saying that research can make a big difference!!!!)

I'm glad Brother Ross Did a survey of all 9 orgs...it's been great for the images of the orgs.!

My signed copy sits on my shelf! I wish someone would be rude enough to dismiss a lot of research!...and anyone who only wants to know info about their own organization, can't possibly represent the interests of ALL brothers and sisters!

1-9-0-6!!!!,

The Ice Cold Kreator

[AlphaChiGirl]

Wow...she wasn't representing her sorority like a lady should, was she? At least we all know that not everyone acts like that.

As for people getting upset over "The Divine Nine" and its telling important secrets, whatever. A lot of people said the same thing about "School Daze"

[Finer Woman10-A-91]

POINT OF CLARIFICATION...
NO SECRETS HAVE BEEN REVEALED IN THE "DIVINE NINE". Brother Ross published what was accepted by all National offices. However many members, myself included, felt some information should not have been published at all. Across the board, NPHC organizations are very protective about their history.

Originally posted by AlphaChiGirl:

As for people getting upset over "The Divine Nine" and its telling important secrets, whatever. A lot of people said the same thing about "School Daze"