Work Crush

[_Lisa_]

I work for a very large company and have a crush on a man that I do not work directly with. He has no impact on my job & vice versa so I've let this crush manifest into a small infatuation. The problem is that he leads a very private life outside of work. I'm looking for suggestions so that I can try to get to know him a little better so that maybe he'll give me a glimpse into his life outside of work.

[James]

Talk to him?

[_Lisa_]

Originally posted by James
Talk to him?

I must not have been clear when I stated that he leads a very private life outside of work. For that, I'm sorry. Let me be more specific:

He only talks about work at work. He keeps his life outside of work very private. And since I can tell he takes great effort to do this I don't know how to approach him about these subjects he obviously avoids.

[LeslieAGD]

Originally posted by crzychx
He only talks about work at work. He keeps his life outside of work very private. And since I can tell he takes great effort to do this I don't know how to approach him about these subjects he obviously avoids.

First a question: Is this just an attraction? How do you know you really like him if you know little about him/his out-of-work-life?

That being said, it seems like this situation calls for you to be direct. Ask if he has a girlfriend and, if not, tell him you'd like to get to know him and ask him out.

[_Lisa_]

Originally posted by LeslieAGD
First a question: Is this just an attraction? How do you know you really like him if you know little about him/his out-of-work-life?

That being said, it seems like this situation calls for you to be direct. Ask if he has a girlfriend and, if not, tell him you'd like to get to know him and ask him out.

Its definitely just attraction, and I'm not looking to have his baby or anything! I just want to get to know him!

I'm pretty terrified to just ask him out but I think I can manage the part about whether he has a girlfriend or not.

Maybe I'll tell him I need a strong man to help me move & see if he'll help...?

[James]

You know . . . there are guys that are always on the make and will take anything you do, innocent or not, as an invitation to hit on you.

There also guys that are almost never on the make, they can be pretty oblvivious to subtle signs of interest.

Somtimes you really have to hit a man over the head with it, otherwise he might think you are just being friendly, or just saying what you mean. Example: You REALLY do need help moving stuff.

Lower the pressure, ask himm out for a few drinks after work.

Originally posted by crzychx
Its definitely just attraction, and I'm not looking to have his baby or anything! I just want to get to know him!

I'm pretty terrified to just ask him out but I think I can manage the part about whether he has a girlfriend or not.

Maybe I'll tell him I need a strong man to help me move & see if he'll help...?

[winneythepooh7]

I agree with James on this one. I would just approach him directly and see if he would like to go for drinks or dinner. Good luck

[labeachgrl]

I would literally bump into him first, check out the vibe/ interest, and then take it from there - is there a spark? does he "see" you? etc... no use really pushing for something if it's not mutual.

[_Lisa_]

Because of the nature of our jobs & how our job roles interact I see him usually once a day or more. Unless he and/or I aren't busy we talk but he rarely ventures into how he spends his time outside of work. I think he is super nice & very attractive & now that I know he is single I just wish that we could get to know each other in a more relaxed atmosphere.

I guess I should venture over to his office when I know he is in there alone. My office is in such a busy hallway that I can never get a moment alone.

[winneythepooh7]

So how are things going with the work crush?

[PhiMuLady150]

I have a work crush too...too bad I am an intern and interns and staff are prohibited from dating

[_Lisa_]

I'm just going to forget about it. Considering how busy we've been the last few months & will be until our deadline mid-August I don't even have time to hang out w/ my friends; let alone someone who is so hard to get to know.