Chapter meeting secrecy

GammaDelt · #1 04-01-2009, 07:40 PM

This may seem like a silly question, but does your chapter have a policy where everything discussed within a chapter meeting is closed to non- members? Because we seem to have a problem in my chapter where many times, information that should be confidential is leaked to inappropriate people from other sisters.

There is nothing in our constitution that says anything about a secrecy clause.

Input?

33girl · #2 04-01-2009, 07:45 PM

This isn't anything that should require a "clause." It's just common sense. It's sorely lacking in most college age students today, unfortunately. (Yes, I am having a cranky old bag moment.)

KSigkid · #3 04-02-2009, 09:30 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

This isn't anything that should require a "clause." It's just common sense. It's sorely lacking in most college age students today, unfortunately. (Yes, I am having a cranky old bag moment.)

Get off my lawn!

Seriously though, if this is a problem, there shouldn't be the need for a "clause." It should be something discussed with the offending members.

FSUZeta · #4 04-01-2009, 07:46 PM

in my own chapter as well as chapters i work with as an alumna, it is understood that things which would be considered confidential will not be discussed outside the chapter room. i am not sure that it is stated as such in the by-laws or constitution.

WhiteRose1912 · #5 04-01-2009, 08:03 PM

We have meeting rituals. So, yes, everything discussed within is completely secret.

KSUViolet06 · #6 04-01-2009, 08:50 PM

We did have this in our bylaws, but really it WAS just common sense.

I wouldn't consider myself to be a particularly old alumna (I graduated in 2006), but I feel like even as recently as when I was in undergrad, we would NEVER discuss anything concerning chapter meeting with our friends.

I feel like alot of newer sorority members lack that type of discretion. If they don't like a decision or something that occured at meeting, it shows up as a Facebook status or on their friend's Walls, and that's entirely inappropriate.

GammaDelt · #7 04-01-2009, 09:02 PM

Thanks you guys. What do you think is the best way to convey this to the sisters without pointing the finger?

AlwaysSAI · #8 04-01-2009, 09:07 PM

In my Phi Sig chapter we had a big problem with people breaking secrecy. We ended up passing an amendment to the bylaws about it.

If a brother knows another brother broke meeting secrecy they can tell any member of EB. Once EB is informed, they handle the situation. But, basically, there is a succession of consequences ranging from a warning (1st offense) to expulsion (numerous offenses).

I think it was a pretty idea, but it doesn't work. No one is going to tattle on their best friend/brother.

angels&angles · #9 04-01-2009, 09:07 PM

We've never had a problem with things showing up on Facebook, but sometimes when there's a big controversy, girls will discuss it on campus. Usually, when this happens the President simply makes a comment in her report during meetings about "Remember anything that happens under ritual is private, and if you need to discuss it, make sure you're in the house." And that's all. I suppose maybe some people get called up to our standards board about it, but I've never heard about it if they do. It's just a general admonishment. I think people will always talk after a big decision, and it's best if there's a place to do so (if you don't have a house, maybe make sure you're in your own room/apartment/suite/whatever)

tri deezy · #10 04-01-2009, 09:50 PM

Here's how it would go in my chapter (and I can picture the sister who was president when I graduated saying this to a tee.) President would stand before the chapter probably before beginning the regular business part of the meeting but while we're in the more serious meeting mood. She'd probably say it just like this: "Ladies, we've had some instances of a few sisters discussing private chapter business with people outside of our chapter and I think it would be appropriate for us to review what can and can not be discussed with non-members. Ritual, of course, is never to be mentioned or discussed at all with any non-initiated member of Tri Delta, but chapter business is also private and requires a certain level of discretion on your parts. Please be respectful of your sisters and keep our privacy in mind. Does anybody have any questions about what would be considered private and what is public?"

Senior year, I lived with two other members of my chapter and a fourth roommate who was a member of another sorority on our campus. She was our best friend and she even came with us to some of our events. Some people thought it was weird that she wasn't there at our senior soiree. By default, she knew pretty much everything about our chapter except ritual, because she was such a trusted friend. Tri Delta loved her and she loved Tri Delta and her own chapter too, of course.

Oh, and I swear that I didn't reveal anything secret in this post

#11 04-01-2009, 10:47 PM

what happens in the fam stays in the fam, and anything dealing with business stays within the people who are in that business..... like everyone else said that's should be a given no need to be in your chapters Constitution.

ASTalumna06 · #12 04-02-2009, 02:52 AM

Kind of a different question but within the same topic... What about alumni/alumnae? I've seen problems with this in the past. Active members confide in alumni/alumnae members about things that happen in meetings, which most of the time isn't a problem. But on some rare occasions, those graduated members get involved where they probably shouldn't.

What would you say concerning a situation such as this?

TPA85 · #13 04-02-2009, 04:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ASTalumna06

Kind of a different question but within the same topic... What about alumni/alumnae? I've seen problems with this in the past. Active members confide in alumni/alumnae members about things that happen in meetings, which most of the time isn't a problem. But on some rare occasions, those graduated members get involved where they probably shouldn't.

What would you say concerning a situation such as this?

Alums are still members so I don't really know what you mean by "shouldn't" get involved. As an alum myself, some of the actives and pledge sisters come to me with questions/problems/etc and I help them with it or address it to the proper person... I feel like that's what we're here for...to be the pillars for the current actives to lean on...
Maybe I'm misunderstanding...

Feel free to elaborate/give an example or correct me if I am way off-base.

KSUViolet06 · #14 04-02-2009, 05:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TPA85

Alums are still members so I don't really know what you mean by "shouldn't" get involved. As an alum myself, some of the actives and pledge sisters come to me with questions/problems/etc and I help them with it or address it to the proper person... I feel like that's what we're here for...to be the pillars for the current actives to lean on...
Maybe I'm misunderstanding...

Feel free to elaborate/give an example or correct me if I am way off-base.

Helping an active sister is not the issue. Nor is lending an ear to an active who is having a problem.

I believe she's referring to the negative sort of involvement, such as:

*getting involved in any drama/gossip that's going on with the active girls.
*taking "sides" in said drama.
*discussing the drama with other alumnae.
*causing more drama.
*meddling in collegiate chapter issues (i.e. attempting to get involved in/control Membership Selection).
*generally not growing up and behaving like an alumna (and having "I think I'm still an active syndrome.")

AlethiaSi · #15 04-07-2009, 08:18 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KSUViolet06

Helping an active sister is not the issue. Nor is lending an ear to an active who is having a problem.

I believe she's referring to the negative sort of involvement, such as:

*getting involved in any drama/gossip that's going on with the active girls.
*taking "sides" in said drama.
*discussing the drama with other alumnae.
*causing more drama.
*meddling in collegiate chapter issues (i.e. attempting to get involved in/control Membership Selection).
*generally not growing up and behaving like an alumna (and having "I think I'm still an active syndrome.")

I agree with you wholeheartedly, however, in my local, it's difficult to follow this. I've been an alum for a few years now, and I just don't have the time or resources to be as involved as I'm needed to be or want to be. Actives will contact me with problems, but usually after its too late to do damage control or they just plain don't take my advice. Then I get phone calls from other people bitching and want me to get involved (I held a number of positions when I was active- the girls usually followed/listened to me- not to sound like that but you know...). Once I do say what I have to say things tend to settle down. My point is, in my case its hard to walk the line.