sorority rushee and hazing - Page 2

prophet · #16 07-26-2002, 03:41 PM

How do "I" propose that sororities convey the message that they do not haze to prospective members? Well, Kddani the best way that a sorority can be sure not to get thrown into a spin of negative sorority thought-is to NOT claim a lie. A lie is to say that all NPHC and NPC chapters do not haze. Also, saying this is a negative for Greek life; stating that locals do haze; that is what you do say when stating only NPHC and NPC don't haze. If you want to be clear about not having a chapter that hazes, say, "my chapter does not haze, we believe in true sisterhood backing each other up, for the betterment of your safety in a physical matter, scholastic matter, and SOCIAL matter. We only do what is necessary to make sure your right for us and we are right for YOU. (Then end it saying

I would never have joined if I felt I was doing anything that would lessen me as a person and bring shame to my name." I hope you get my drift

Kddani. To isatelatUCR you need to have questions answered if you have any. Don't be afraid of asking questions. Talk one on one with the pledge mom or whatever she may be called. Also, when you go to these sororities keep your eyes open, but your ears even wider, becuase some times people slip and say something about how their org. pledges people and that can lead you to joinning or not. Good Luck girl

-Heath
Rush Chair

FKT
www.bspotonline.com/phitau
www.phikappatau.org

NatalieCD · #17 07-30-2002, 01:12 PM

Listen, if a sorority hazes on campus, you are not always going to find out. Greek life keeps their mouths shut. If one gets in trouble, it's as if they all do. Don't think you can run to get that organization in trouble because I'll say it again, you might as well leave the school because nobody is going to be behind you.

KDShan · #18 07-31-2002, 03:22 PM

In defense of KDDani (my wonderful sister!), what she was saying is that ALL NPC SORORITIES HAVE A ZERO-TOLERANCE POLICY in ragards to hazing. That being said, when the National HQ of a sorority gets wind of a suspected hazing at a chapter, you can bet that they will be sending National Officers to that chapter to find out what is going on.
Also, keep in mind that hazing is ILLEGAL in 42 states. I encourage everyone to check out: www.stophazing.org
I wrote my senior thesis on developing an anti-hazing program for a high school athletic department, and I exchanged emails with Hank Nuwer (a nationally recognized expert on hazing). Check out the site, and find out the law in your state. Also, make sure you are clear on the definition of hazing. Having the entire chapter (sisters and new members) stay at the house as a sisterhood event is not considered hazing (unless the activities that take place during that event are hazing), also being asked to do something (say, serve on a planning committee) is not hazing. What bothers me almost as much as actual hazing, is when people over-react and consider any sister/brother asking a pledge/new member to do something as hazing. Anyway, check out that website, and get familiar with the definition of hazing and the laws in your state (also check with your university/college, they sometimes have different laws)

texas*princess · #19 07-31-2002, 04:30 PM

I completely disagree with hazing, but unfortunately, it happens with some of the local sororities that are on my campus (Local sororities were the only sororities on our campus for a long time. NPC sororities will be introduced to our campus in the Fall).

One local sorority on campus was actually very well-known for hazing. They would make their pledges dress up ridiculously for an entire week. For example, they would make the pledges dress up like clowns one day and the pledges had to stay like that *all day* including class.. and if they worked, they were expected to stay dressed like that as well. The next day they would tell their pledges to wear pink wigs everywhere (Pink was one of their colors). I don't know *why* the pledges put up with that? Maybe they thought it was fun?! I don't know.

shadokat · #20 07-31-2002, 04:41 PM

NatalieCD--

I'd love to know what school you go to that ostracizes people for following the rules! That, to me, is insane. Our campus USED to not even look at girls who would depledge, but that has long since been done away with. To any new member on this board, or potential new member, if you are hazed and feel you should report it, you should by all means do so. Change doesn't happen because of the closemindedness of the statements like

"you might as well leave the school because nobody is going to be behind you"

sweetie adpi · #21 07-31-2002, 04:51 PM

natalie, i'm very sorry about the experience that you have had. obviously it was a bad one that has left a very bitter taste in your mouth. but i'd like to point out that every campus is a very different place, and had you been at my school, i can guarantee that not all greek life would have hated you. i would have stood behind you 100% and i know many others who would have as well.

this past year one of the new members of another sorority was uncomfortable with one of the "traditions" of her sorority. it was a tradition that the new member classes make up songs to perform at their pledge formal for the rest of the sorority. evidently, these songs were insulting to the other sororities on campus, as well as offensive in general, and showed a lack of self respect for the new members. the new member went to our greek advisor, who was shocked to find out about the tradition. an ultimatum was given to the sorority, and to the other three chapters on campus. such a tradition would stop immediately and if any of us were found to be doing something like this, she would call our national headquarters about it, and also have the school sanction us. well although it scared the sorority in question, it made them see that not all sisters were comfortable with this tradition, which was something they had not realized.

once it was brought to their attention, they fully supported the new member and realized that something that was supposed to be innocent had grown into something that could be considered hazing. all of the sororities supported the new member, in that we agreed no one should be made to feel uncomfortable doing something, even if we think that it is something innocent, we still need to send the message that we are openminded and heedful of individual's feelings, and that it's important as a member of a sisterhood that we support one another and watch out for one another and make sure that all are comfortable with the activities of the chapter.

anyways, i just want to point out that not all campuses have the same positions and some are more openminded, and mindful of the feelings of their members. we don't want to lose that one member who if she hadn't felt so uncomfortable that she felt she had to leave the system or the school, could have made a huge difference in our community and/or been an extraordinary leader. that's not what a sisterhood is about, and if the whole greek community ostracizes someone for standing up for how they feel, then that is certainly a greek community that doesn't know the meaning of sisterhood or brotherhood and one i would never want to be a part of.

sweetie adpi · #22 07-31-2002, 05:04 PM

HyperBeauty · #23 07-31-2002, 06:43 PM

ZChi2,

I've been a lurker for a while, but when I saw your post I had to respond. I'm not a member in a sorority of the NPHC, but I've spoken to the ladies of these sororities online and in person. Your information is incorrect. And just how many schools HAVE you been to? If you've been to more than one, you would know how wrong you are. Yes, hazing does still happen in some CHAPTERS, but it's not fair to generalize. That's as bad as the stereotype that all NPC sororities have alcoholics in them.

kayla_adpi · #24 07-31-2002, 08:20 PM

wow from what i've heard on here there are a lot of sororities who haze. i'm proud to say that my chapter has a no hazing policy

although i do know that most of the fraternities do haze on our campus. i go to a smaller university so it might be different for the larger ones.

chideltjen · #25 07-31-2002, 09:00 PM

To say that all NPC sororities do not haze would be a stretch since everyone on GC seems to have a different definition of hazing. However, I have heard and seen NPC sororities engaging in some form of "hazing" if you will. One act was having lil sisters in one NPC sorority wear signs, pins, jewelry that was larger than life, etc saying "My big sis loves me." Now that was brought up by our panhellenic council on campus as hazing so we stopped making our nms wear stuff like that because we were told to. However, I still see this one sorority making their NMs wear lil sis stuff. Now whether the lils choose to wear this stuff is up to them and none of my business... but if you had the option, would YOU wear an 8.5x11 sign with a pink fuzzy boa around it hanging from you neck all day?

Now since I am in a local, there seems to be a stigma against locals with reguards to hazing. I won't lie... things we did in the past could be considered. But that is in the past. There are a lot more creative ways to bond a class together than to haze them senseless. But we still have our traditions that are still considered by some, hazing. SOmeone above mentioned class songs. All the classes in my GLO have songs. The difference is that we don't tell the nms that they have to bad mouth other sororities or prove anything worthy or whatever. If they want to do that... well, that's on them. It's fun because all the prior classes have to sing their song as well. And when you rushed 2 years ago... trying to remember that song on the spot can be pretty funny.

I digress, but I won't lie to the questioning PNM. There are GLOs that do the handbook definition of hazing. I think it just depends on the context of it all and how the event, option, activity, etc is presented to the NM. If the NM is told to wear a clown outfit for a week because so and so didn't like their attitude, yeah, that's hazing... to an extreme. My old roomie was on the soccer team and she had to go around campus dressed up and had to sing songs with the rest of her freshman counterparts just because the senior members felt like having them do that. I think in any organization, there is going to be SOMETHING that may challenge you a bit or make you upset. But to say that it just doesn't happen? that's not right.

On a side note... NatelieCD, what the heck happened to you in college? Details?

NatalieCD · #26 07-31-2002, 11:40 PM

Ohhh no no no no. As I stated before, I don't regret anything I went through, and hell I would do it again all over!! Yes I was hazed, and I don't wish I could take back any part of my pledge process. It's all mental, what you can take and what you can't.

Yes you are correct, every campus is different. I'm sure Greek Life at every school is different as well. I was stating what it would be like at my school, had somebody reported an organization. We as a greek community stand up for one another and won't let one go. It's just the way we do things.

It just makes me mad when those girls on MTV think arts and crafts are SO hard. That's ridiculous. If they think arts and crafts are bad, try pledging my sorority ladies!

Anyway, sorry had to put my two cents in.

I totally agree with you about all campuses are different. But you also have to be aware of the situation that every freshmen is put into when they enter a college or university. They don't know what's right and what's wrong. They don't know what hazing is, atleast my pledge class and other pledge classes of other organizations didn't. We went through it, because we wanted to. I don't know any girl who pledged from a sorority on my campus, that wished she could take it all back.

I liked the way you stated your opinion without putting mine down at the same time, thank you!

PS - For a side note for posts and threads after this. Be aware of everybody's situation. Know they they didn't go through the same thing you did, and dont be naive.

Quote:

Originally posted by sweetie adpi
natalie, i'm very sorry about the experience that you have had. obviously it was a bad one that has left a very bitter taste in your mouth. but i'd like to point out that every campus is a very different place, and had you been at my school, i can guarantee that not all greek life would have hated you. i would have stood behind you 100% and i know many others who would have as well.

this past year one of the new members of another sorority was uncomfortable with one of the "traditions" of her sorority. it was a tradition that the new member classes make up songs to perform at their pledge formal for the rest of the sorority. evidently, these songs were insulting to the other sororities on campus, as well as offensive in general, and showed a lack of self respect for the new members. the new member went to our greek advisor, who was shocked to find out about the tradition. an ultimatum was given to the sorority, and to the other three chapters on campus. such a tradition would stop immediately and if any of us were found to be doing something like this, she would call our national headquarters about it, and also have the school sanction us. well although it scared the sorority in question, it made them see that not all sisters were comfortable with this tradition, which was something they had not realized.

once it was brought to their attention, they fully supported the new member and realized that something that was supposed to be innocent had grown into something that could be considered hazing. all of the sororities supported the new member, in that we agreed no one should be made to feel uncomfortable doing something, even if we think that it is something innocent, we still need to send the message that we are openminded and heedful of individual's feelings, and that it's important as a member of a sisterhood that we support one another and watch out for one another and make sure that all are comfortable with the activities of the chapter.

anyways, i just want to point out that not all campuses have the same positions and some are more openminded, and mindful of the feelings of their members. we don't want to lose that one member who if she hadn't felt so uncomfortable that she felt she had to leave the system or the school, could have made a huge difference in our community and/or been an extraordinary leader. that's not what a sisterhood is about, and if the whole greek community ostracizes someone for standing up for how they feel, then that is certainly a greek community that doesn't know the meaning of sisterhood or brotherhood and one i would never want to be a part of.

zchi2 · #27 08-01-2002, 08:23 AM

I didn't say that all NPHC sororities haze, but like I said I have visited MANY campuses and they haze. I also have many families members and friends that were hazed. The ones that don't get hazed don't get much respect and they are called "paper." I've seen it all the time. Not many people are going to say "yes they beat the crap out of me" but if you seen them while they were pledging, you know that something bad was going on.

NatalieCD · #28 08-01-2002, 12:55 PM

Amen!

NatalieCD · #29 08-01-2002, 01:06 PM

Amen!

HyperBeauty · #30 08-01-2002, 01:28 PM

ZChi2,

I understand what you are saying, but I wish that you'd clarified that before. Thanks for doing that.