Married women can't join sororities???

[33girl]

We had a married woman pledge - her hubby was actually a fraternity man most of us had known for a long time. I think maybe at the schools where being anything but a first semester freshman is a disadvantage, there may be an "unspoken" rule, but I highly doubt anything is written down (as has been mentioned, it could open the door to discrimination lawsuits).

Also, it would probably be very unlikely to see a married woman join at a campus where living in the house for several years.is required.

[RTZTAS]

I'm not sure what the ZTA policy is, but my guess is that married women are allowed to become members of collegiate chapters. I believe that if an initiated wants to request alumna status (which releases her further financial obligations to the chapter just like if she graduated), getting married is one of the criteria that would allow her to qualify. My experience, as a married person (4 years after graduation), is that married women typically have different priorities and interests than unmarried women, but that of course is not a rule. A collegiate chapter benefits by keeping as many dues-paying members on their roll as possible, but I'm not sure whether there any issues that the national organization considers. I can tell you that a good friend at church who is in her late fifties told me that whe was living in the Alpha Gam house and had to get special permission from a national officer to live in the house after she was married. I believe her husband had to go overseas or something and she was still in school. On the other hand many married women are initiated into ZTA as special initiates, but these women have usually graduated from college many years ago.

[James]

I think in this case the unwritten rule might be pretty strong, especially if the woman is Rushing without knowing many of the girls in a chapter individualy. I have seen some really trivial reasons used to disqualify people and I could see this being a bigger issue in a lot of people's minds.

Originally posted by 33girl
We had a married woman pledge - her hubby was actually a fraternity man most of us had known for a long time. I think maybe at the schools where being anything but a first semester freshman is a disadvantage, there may be an "unspoken" rule, but I highly doubt anything is written down (as has been mentioned, it could open the door to discrimination lawsuits).

Also, it would probably be very unlikely to see a married woman join at a campus where living in the house for several years.is required.

[aephi alum]

Hmm. I'll see if I can dig up the posts I was referring to ~ but what it looked like to me, is that the majority of NPC sororities have policies against married women joining as new members. If that's no longer the case, I'm glad to hear it.

To my knowledge, AEPhi does not exclude married new members. My chapter has never had a married new member, though we have had an engaged new member, and several sisters (myself included) have gotten engaged while remaining active sisters. In fact, sisters who get engaged (in my chapter) are not given the option to become alumnae!

And I did ask specifically about fraternities and NPHC fraternities and sororities, as well as NPC sororities.

[AlphaChiGirl]

A twist--what about an collegiate who gets pregnant (unmarried or not)?

[LexiKD]

I assume it isn't a rule, but like pledging an older new member, like a senior, the chapter may have reservations about it when they could pledge a freshman and have her for 4 years opposed to one.

Not real sure, I know my chapter has a married member so it may be up to individual chapters? I think I remember a few chapters at my school that it would be automatic alumnae, but that may be beacuse that is how it has always been, not really the rule, rather the tradition.

[PM_Mama00]

I can't see why any sorority wouldnt let in a married woman! One of my lovely pledge sisters was married, and she's one of the most active girls in our chapter.

[SnakeyKPledge]

I'm a Sigma Kappa, and one of my pledge sisters is married. During rush she let everyone know that she was married and still received invites back from almost every sorority on campus (Delta Zeta, Kappa Delta, Phi Mu, Chi Omega, Alpha Phi). The only sorority she didn't receive an invite back from was Alpha Delta Pi (and I don't know if that was b/c she was married or b/c of other reasons). Her husband is in one of the better fraternities and they have no problem that he is married...Just thought I'd throw in my two cents.

[ErikaXO]

Originally posted by AlphaChiGirl
A twist--what about an collegiate who gets pregnant (unmarried or not)?

We had this happen, actually. When I was a freshman one of our sisters who was a sophomore was pregnant....she was able to hide it for a long time but evenutally she went "inactive" for a semester to have the baby. She gave him up for adoption and came back the following fall and reaffiliated. I guess it wasn't seen as too big a deal at the time although I know there were some people who never felt the same about her. I lived in the house with her for awhile and I thought she was a very nice girl, just perhaps irresponsible. (Incidentally, a year or so later her badge was pulled for having a guy in her room at the house.....)

[SilverIvy]

I am married and I joined Alpha Phi AFTER i married my husband. And My husband joined Phi Delta Theta after he married me....

[MoxieGrrl]

Ok, I'm confused...(doesn't take much, but still! ) Is this "married member" thing an NPC rule across the board or is it sorority specific?

I know that right now, my chapter of KD is looking to pledge a woman who is married...(she's 20 and transfered here for her junior year). I don't want to break any rules, but I know this woman could add a lot to our chapter!

[Angels&Arrows]

I do not recall any married women going through rush when I was in school. However, I do remember occasionally a PNM who was engaged. I do not recall it hurting their chances of pledging. My only thought on this is some chapters have specific rules about living on the floor or in the house for x amount of years. If you were married, one would assume that you would not be able to meet this requirement. If you are at a school with a large amount of PNMs, I think it could possibly hurt a PNM who is married.

[marriedPNM]

First, let me apologize for bumping up such an old thread! I did not want to create a new one as I know how irritating it is to rehash already discussed topics.

However, I have some specific questions regarding this thread and some other posts I saw around the site:

Why is it such a large issue if a PNM is married? I saw a lot of posts in a thread regarding a potential issue of a pregnant girl coming through that also reflected ideas concerning married girls and quite frankly, it bothered me. Young married women, without children, are entirely capable of contributing to a chapter successfully!

How should a PNM approach this issue during formal recruitment without sounding peculiar, too rehearsed, or being inappropriate?

How can a PNM offset any negativity associated with this apparent stigma?

Since this messageboard is comprised of members across the country, how does your region, campus, alma mater react to married PNMs? I am specifically interested in the south. I would reveal the state, but discretion is key and I do not want to run the risk of harming my recruitment chances.

I have already checked with my greek life office and there are no rules against it. I have also secured a recommendation to each house, have a high college GPA, involved with numerous activities, I have great hair , and I am getting the impression that all of those things just won't matter because I'm married. I would like hearing some of your opinions and thoughts on the situation in general (since it has been awhile!) and maybe some advice regarding mine.

Thank you for your time ladies and gentlemen.

[JohnsDGsweethrt]

I don't think dg has any rules against it. I think once you're married you have the option of taking alumnae status but I don't think its required.

[AGDee]

It will really vary by campus. On a more non-traditional campus, it will probably be more accepted but there are some possible inherent barriers:
1) In many groups, you have the option of the alumna status when you get married as a collegian (some may require it), so there could be an issue with retention of membership. Collegiate chapters are limited in how many women that they can take, so they are going to be more likely to take women who are more likely to stay active in the chapter for 4 years. A married woman could choose to go alumna at any time. This is also why sophomores and juniors at some schools have fewer options for sorority membership...chapters are looking for women who can contribute for 4 years to provide stability and consistency in a chapter.
2) If there is a house, members are expected to live in the house at some point during their sorority membership. Obviously, a married woman isn't going to live in a sorority house, so she becomes a less desirable choice if there are problems with keeping a house filled.
3) Concerns about priorities/time committments. While all sororities put family, school and work (to a degree) above the sorority, most members are college students who have few family committments because they are living away at school, a member who is married is more likely to have family committments that will take away from the time and energy that she can put into the chapter.
4) A married woman is probably less likely to engage in the social aspect of the sorority (like Fraternity mixers). If a chapter had a large number of married women, this could be a hindrance in which fraternities would have mixers with them because the number of women attending such functions would decrease.


On a more urban commuter campus (like Wayne State University in Detroit) where a lot of the students are non-traditoinal, it's less of an issue, but those are some of the reasons that chapters would be hesitant. I'm sure there have been married members who had very supportive husbands and who contributed strongly to a chapter, just as there have been members with a child who handled it all, it's just more rare and probably more of a challenge for those members.