I'm just too embarrassed when we...(not for the sensitive)

[allsmiles_22]

There was a black woman that used to cause a hissy fit whenever we went out to lunch. We were the only two black females in our department and we work in a predominately white area.

Embarrassment #1: We took her out to lunch on her first day. We went to a seafood restaurant. She ordered two entrees. The first dish was “absolutely nasty…is this thing cooked….leave it to ya’ll to just combine any old mess”. The second dish, as she told the manager (he came over because a customer was dissatisfied with a entrée), "was so much better, I can't believe you make that other crap". Dessert came around and we went through the fiasco for a second time. I just looked at my manager’s face and knew she was shocked.

Embarrassment #2: We took other new hires to a Chinese restaurant, this time her food was too hot. She went on and on about how the food was so hot, she called the server over and demanded a menu to see where it stated the dish was spicy. When she didn't see the spicy sign the server was ordered to take the food back and re-cook it without the hot ingredient. She then proceeded to ask for the manager to ask him why the menu didn't state which dishes were spicy/non-spicy. I just sat there while our manager had that “what the hell is going on” look on his face.

Embarrassment #3: Again instance in which her, another coworker and I went out to lunch. The cashier was trying to verify the orders, but before she could get it out Ms. Hissy Fit gets loud with her in the busy store. She ended her tongue lashing with "see you done made me get black up in here". I wanted to leave the store so bad after we had gotten our food. I didn’t drive so I sat in embarrassment while the other customers walked by and looked at us in digust.

Three strikes she was out. So I kindly declined when there was a group outing with her included. There are ways of going about things with tact, she didn't have any and she was trying so hard to act so uppity.

[lovelyivy84]

"there's a war goin on in the black community right now and there's two sides.

There's black people and there's niggas, and niggas have got to go!

Every time black people wanna have something, ignant ass niggas fuck it up. "

What do you guys think of this statement? Of course there is a degree of truth in it, but do you think it's elitist at all?

This whole convo kinda reflects the gaps in our own society between the haves and have-nots. Middle class morality vs. a ghetto mentality.

And the gap only widens every year.

[Steeltrap]

Originally posted by lovelyivy84
"there's a war goin on in the black community right now and there's two sides.

There's black people and there's niggas, and niggas have got to go!

Every time black people wanna have something, ignant ass niggas fuck it up. "

What do you guys think of this statement? Of course there is a degree of truth in it, but do you think it's elitist at all?

This whole convo kinda reflects the gaps in our own society between the haves and have-nots. Middle class morality vs. a ghetto mentality.

And the gap only widens every year.

Chris Rock is on point. There is a gap in our society and I'm glad to see that we're acknowledging it, rather than glossing it over.

Putting it in blunt terms, we've had less than 50 years of civil rights (I date it back to Rosa Parks and the bus boycott).

How does one expect that around 50 years of civil rights could possibly undo around eight, nine generations (as I think Soror LI84 said in another post) of crap, including institutional racism and all its attendant ills, particularly when you still have people that, for whatever reason, can't advance their station in life?

Remember, whole populations don't advance lockstep from poverty to affluence. Only those who are prepared do so.

[Bamboozled]

Originally posted by Professor
LMBAO - - -

It never fails when I walk downtown with co-workers for lunch I run into cousins - folk that I know from childhood and they greet you with "What's Up N****R." - - - N****R you got it going on. You know those type of remarks made in front of co-workers. Well of coures my co-workers look as if they will piss in their pants and later say "Is it ok for Blacks to use the "N" word. Hell, I don't know what to say myself because many of us pubicly use the word. Just listen to some new music.

I can TOTALLY relate to this. I have a huge fear of walking downtown with my coworkers. I am the ONLY black person in my office, so you know I always try to represent. But, it never fails. Picture it ..... we're all walking along, all have on business suits, carrying briefcases and along comes Mr. Gold tooth-permed out-full length mink coat approaching me with, "whatcho name ils?". When I try to smile politely and keep going, I then have to deal with, "F*ck you then b*tch .... you ain't all that anyways. You ain't white. Don't forget where you come from." All the while, my coworkers stand by looking mortified, ready to call the police because they now think all of our lives in danger. Different versions of this scenario have happened to me quite a few times while I'm out with coworkers.

For that matter, I'm thoroughly embarrassed anytime the FedEx/UPS/copier fixer/lightbulb changer/messenger/coffee deliverer, etc.... tries to game me in my office in front of my coworkers. I know that sounds horrible, but even if the brotha was a CEO wearing an Armani suit, there is a time and place for everything. My office is NEVER the time nor the place.

Now y'all got me thinking. This is kind of a different twist on this thread, but why do SOME white people think that because you're single and black that it is there duty to "hook" you up with ANY single black man that they know. Our office manager kept telling me about this gorgeous guy that I just had to meet because we'd be perfect together. She told me, "I've never looked at a black man like that, but he's really cute." Y'all, why did she tell me to go down to a shoe store across the street during lunch to check him out. She doesn't even know that man. She only sees him through the window on her way to work. Now I'm no elitist, but damn, I do have standards. I am a professional, college educated woman. What in hades made her think that I'd have anything in common with a shoe salesman? She even asked if she could stop in and give him my phone number. Ummm no, you can't.

This has happened to me several times. I guess it's becuase they know so few black people that they figure we're all alike and just because we have similar skin color, we're bound to get along.


Dang, now I feel like I'm prejud"ist". This topic has really got me thinking.....

[straightBOS]

Originally posted by lovelyivy84
"there's a war goin on in the black community right now and there's two sides.

There's black people and there's niggas, and niggas have got to go!

Every time black people wanna have something, ignant ass niggas fuck it up. "

What do you guys think of this statement? Of course there is a degree of truth in it, but do you think it's elitist at all?

This whole convo kinda reflects the gaps in our own society between the haves and have-nots. Middle class morality vs. a ghetto mentality.

And the gap only widens every year.

I do not believe it is elitist, especially when the people who make these comments come from the same neighborhoods as you and have the same oppurtunities. Look closely at some of the stories- we are talking about co-workers, friends of friends, classmates-- people who are sitting at the same table as the rest of us. Except, they choose to take of their shoes and put their feet up on it. And, I do not think there is ever an excuse for improper behavior.

To me, I see people trying to take advantage of a situation or streotypes. Already, they think White people view them as hostile and ignorant. So they exploit this streotype becuase they know that the whites are less likely to confront their hostility and more likely to shake their heads in silence.

That, I believe is the spirit in which this thread and Chris Rock's comments were intended. Not that their is a caste or tier system, but instead there is gross exploitation that not only trivializes true racial discrimination and injustice but also belies the intelligence and better judgement that we were all born with.

I actually just returned from the supermarket and was going to post yet another experience. I was on line at the courtesy desk trying to get a few money orders. And, a Black guy who had just been served loudly storms from the courtesy desk yelling, "Thats why I hate white people, dammit I hate you white people because you always wanna mess black people up!"

The white woman and hispanic male in front of me lowered their eyes and shook their heads. When the hispanic male in front of me gets up there he has a problem with his card ( credit, debt, whatever..) and cannot complete his transaction, so he leaves. Now, when I get up there the white male behind the counter is pleasant with me, I get my stuff and I am out of there in no time at all. Now, what is the purpose of making a scene?

When we resort to inflammatory speech and behavior to express our disappointment we reinforce stereotypes and emabarass the hell out of everyone else- regardless of race. And frankly, I agree with Rock's statements because these people OBVIOUSLY want to cause a scene. And that is wrong.

[allsmiles_22]

Originally posted by Bamboozled
For that matter, I'm thoroughly embarrassed anytime the FedEx/UPS/copier fixer/lightbulb changer/messenger/coffee deliverer, etc.... tries to game me in my office in front of my coworkers. I know that sounds horrible, but even if the brotha was a CEO wearing an Armani suit, there is a time and place for everything. My office is NEVER the time nor the place.

Can I say Amen! My stalker is the a/c repair man who likes to make sure that it's running properly in my office. One day, this fool waited until I finished talking to my mother and a manager to ask me if there was a color copier he could use to copy some cd covers for his bootleg cd business. This man and his attempts to get at me is now the joke of my whole office. I don't find it funny.

Originally posted by Bamboozled
Now y'all got me thinking. This is kind of a different twist on this thread, but why do SOME white people think that because you're single and black that it is there duty to "hook" you up with ANY single black man that they know.

This has happened to me several times. I guess it's becuase they know so few black people that they figure we're all alike and just because we have similar skin color, we're bound to get along.

I'm SO tired of hearing , "I know this really great guy that would be perfect for you".

[DSTDiva]

I was walking through the mall with a couple of my friends and we heard a commotion. When we got to the store where the commotion was, we saw the mall security escorting two females out of a store. Come to find out, the two girls had gotten into a fist fight in the store and they knocked down three racks of clothes. They even said that one of the girls was fighting while holding her baby.

A couple of years ago, I was attending a predominately white university. One day I was sitting in math class and out of no where came a loud snore. I looked over to find out that it was one of the few other black people in the class. Yall, he was snoring so loud that I was surprised that he didn't wake himself up. Nobody sitting around him tried to wake him up. He snored through 30 minutes of class while the professor kept on teaching like he didn't hear the snoring. (I know he heard it because it was a small classroom.) I was too embarassed.

[lovelyivy84]

Originally posted by Bamboozled



For that matter, I'm thoroughly embarrassed anytime the FedEx/UPS/copier fixer/lightbulb changer/messenger/coffee deliverer, etc.... tries to game me in my office in front of my coworkers. I know that sounds horrible, but even if the brotha was a CEO wearing an Armani suit, there is a time and place for everything. My office is NEVER the time nor the place.

AMEN!!!!!!


Now y'all got me thinking. This is kind of a different twist on this thread, but why do SOME white people think that because you're single and black that it is there duty to "hook" you up with ANY single black man that they know. Our office manager kept telling me about this gorgeous guy that I just had to meet because we'd be perfect together. She told me, "I've never looked at a black man like that, but he's really cute." Y'all, why did she tell me to go down to a shoe store across the street during lunch to check him out. She doesn't even know that man. She only sees him through the window on her way to work. Now I'm no elitist, but damn, I do have standards. I am a professional, college educated woman. What in hades made her think that I'd have anything in common with a shoe salesman? She even asked if she could stop in and give him my phone number. Ummm no, you can't.

This has happened to me several times. I guess it's becuase they know so few black people that they figure we're all alike and just because we have similar skin color, we're bound to get along.




IT's not just me!

JUST because we're both black and they like both of us does not immediately follow that we will be soul mates or something, lol! I politely decline those invites.

[mccoyred]

Folx think that BLACK=GHETTO!

Originally posted by loviest95

And at the grocery store.. while buying formula I was asked where my WIC paper was or was I going to use food stamps..I told the cashier {one of us} neither.. she said "you think you too good for food stamps and WIC?" ..Well you black just like me!!


WTF

My most frustrating and embarrassing moments with 'us' come at work. Even though the corporate dress code is Business Casual, people have no idea. Only 'us' come into work with club gear, you know sheer blouses, navel rings showing, mile high hairdon'ts, spike heels, spaghetti straps, etc. I also cringe when some of us get on the elevator putting all kind of personal business in the street, talking loud and carrying on. Of course 'they' think 'we' all act like that! No wonder it took so long for 'us' to move into management in my company.

[lovele1978]

Bamboozled..... I thought it was just me too. I work in a hospital and of course who tracks me down to my office to ask me out to lunch? Not the doctors or even male nurses, no the guy who makes the lunches in the cafeteria, or the brothers in housekeeping, or patient transport. Now when I decline the offer and state that I have a man, I am all of a sudden stuck-up, WTF . Sorry, even if I didn't have a man, I just don't feel right dating a guy that I ask for extra cheese on my sandwich everyday.

At my previous job, every friday was casual day. But by the way some of the black women dressed you would think that they were getting ready to slide down a pole . I'm talking fishnet stockings, mini-mini skirts, booty shorts, the works. Then have the nerve to catch an attitude when told that they will have go home to change their clothes.

[FeeFee]

Originally posted by lovelyivy84
"there's a war goin on in the black community right now and there's two sides.

There's black people and there's niggas, and niggas have got to go!

Every time black people wanna have something, ignant ass niggas fuck it up. "

What do you guys think of this statement? Of course there is a degree of truth in it, but do you think it's elitist at all?

This whole convo kinda reflects the gaps in our own society between the haves and have-nots. Middle class morality vs. a ghetto mentality.

And the gap only widens every year.

Chris Rock was on point when he said that. I grew up in the projects in Brooklyn, and I can tell you that I have witnessed the comparison first hand. There were (and still are) many people in my neighborhood who possessed that "project mentality" - just not caring how they kept up their surroundings. They figured that just because Public Assistance was paying the rent for some, they can just do whatever they wanted - not throwing garbage in the trash cans, urinating in the elevators, breaking the locks on the front door, etc. I am soooo glad that my mother is one of the hardworking people there and she taught me better than that. You can live in the projects without necessarily having the projects live in you.

[Wonderful1908]

I can totally relate to eating out with some people. I use to think it was an economic issue but its not. I have been out with friends who are college educated but the moment they set foot in a restaraunt its over! "How much is this, can I get no french fries extra meat (how is a potato exchangable with meat) this is nasty, when is our food coming, why do they have their food before we do?" etc. As a waitress during the summer I cannot say enough that you should tip 15% if your service was satisfactory. It is a simple formula, I would never go out to eat and not plan on tipping, its TACKY! People should consider tipping as part of the calculation when going out to dinner. Minorites period seem to not get this. One more thing to.... if one more person says to me this drink is not strong enough I'll scream!!

[cleopatrajones]

Originally posted by lovelyivy84
"there's a war goin on in the black community right now and there's two sides.

There's black people and there's niggas, and niggas have got to go!

Every time black people wanna have something, ignant ass niggas fuck it up. "

What do you guys think of this statement? Of course there is a degree of truth in it, but do you think it's elitist at all?

This whole convo kinda reflects the gaps in our own society between the haves and have-nots. Middle class morality vs. a ghetto mentality.

And the gap only widens every year.

I do think this quote is slightly elitist. Where are the "niggas"supposed to go? Maybe when Black people act out in public it is a way for them to assert themselves in a world in which they feel powerless. (Of course there could be other reasons and theories and such). All the people who have the "project mentality" have it for a reason and it may not be because they want to have it. Nobody wants to be poor, or live in a project, etc. but there are certain cultural and hisrotical forces that put us in certain situations mixed with our own actions. I think that most of the people we are talking about though are college educated people, who work at our jobs and such--I don't think they would be considered the "niggas" though. They may act out because of other reasons. I don't like the way Chris Rock is ready to cast the "undesirable people" to the side to make way for the good "civilized" people. That's how I read that statement and it definately rubs me to wrong way.

[Steeltrap]

Originally posted by cleopatrajones


I do think this quote is slightly elitist. Where are the "niggas"supposed to go? Maybe when Black people act out in public it is a way for them to assert themselves in a world in which they feel powerless. (Of course there could be other reasons and theories and such). All the people who have the "project mentality" have it for a reason and it may not be because they want to have it. Nobody wants to be poor, or live in a project, etc. but there are certain cultural and hisrotical forces that put us in certain situations mixed with our own actions. I think that most of the people we are talking about though are college educated people, who work at our jobs and such--I don't think they would be considered the "niggas" though. They may act out because of other reasons. I don't like the way Chris Rock is ready to cast the "undesirable people" to the side to make way for the good "civilized" people. That's how I read that statement and it definately rubs me to wrong way.

Here's my interpretation of Rock's statement: he's saying that we need to quit glorifying and excusing away the "project mentality." Unfortunately, too many people of ALL races believe that the only representatives of the black experience are those with that mentality. That's what I resent.

[flyygyrl1908]

Ladies, I thought that I was the only one that get's embarassed by these types of things.
Anyway, I am from Ohio, and we have a commercial for gold teeth!!!! Can you believe that! It's crazy. They are on a street corner in of course one of the "worst" areas that you can possibly think of, and this guy comes on in front of the camera and grits his teeth for everyone to see. I turn the channel everytime I see it!