Rush at UCSC

[JMUduke]

wow, since this thing was pulled back to the top, I read through it all and was very impressed!! I hope it all turns out somehow, and I wish you lots of luck!!!

[wishinhopin]

Hi everyone,

Once again I was having some computer trouble, but here's the deal so far. John Holloway's office gave me a list of dates, and I figured out which dates would work the absolute best for everyone involved. Then I emailed the list to everyone, but no one has responded (no one from the office at UCSC or AZD) yet. I did, however, get an email from a woman who is apparently going to be the greek life person at my school. This is a big deal because up until now we haven't had any adult whose paid position was to help with greek stuff. She seemed really nice and I feel more positive about things now that I know she's here to help. Since I'm in town for summer, I think we're going to meet up and discuss stuff. I do have a problem though. The dates that John Holloway is available are as follows: August 14, 15, 16, and 19. One of my sisters is very upset because she's only available on the 16th, but ultimately we chose to meet on the 19th. We're doing it this way because several other sisters are absolutely not available anytime other than the 19th, so I was trying to be fair and make sure that the most people possible could attend. But my sister took this personally and is particularly upset about it. She has changed her mind repeatedly about what she wants to do in terms of affiliation. At first she was just as excited as the rest of us about going NPC, but since she started hanging out with some sorority at San Jose State she only wants to affiliate with them. It's frustrating for many reasons. One, I feel like she is being unfair by demanding that we all affiliate with a group that only she seems to feel a connection with. Also, she says she wants to go with this group because she's Latina and she won't feel comfortable in an NPC group because they're mostly white, and she needs something diverse. The thing is, the sorority she wants is basically all Latina, so her point doesn't exactly apply for everyone in NBO. I'm very frustrated with that whole situation. But other than that things are going well, I'm going to call some people instead of relying solely on email as a way of getting in touch with people. Please give me some advice about what to do about this one sister, I love her and I want us all to be happy but she's making it super hard for us. Anyway, more later, thanks for still being interested after all this time!
love, Corina

[FuzzieAlum]

That's the problem with finding an affiliation. Of course, you want to make everyone happy. But even if you were just choosing among two NPC sororities, there would be disagreements. One girl would fall in love with Mu Mu's philanthropy and want to go there, and another would love Nu Nu's motto ... you get my drift. The best choice will be the sorority that will make the majority of sisters happy.

Now if there was a serious disagreement among a major number of girls - half want one and half want another - that may be time to decide whether it's worth splitting up or not affiliating at all. But it sounds as if you are talking about only one individual.

The way I see it, everyone who joined NBO joined it knowing NBO would affiliate somewhere, and they should be willing to go with what the majority decides.

I understand she may feel left out because she can't be there, but it is logical to pick a day that the greatest number of sisters can be at. To ask for something different is to say that her one opinion counts more than the opinion of several other sisters, which I don't think is right. Why can she not be there? Is it something she can get out of? And is it possible to delay voting until the other sisters can tell her about the presentations, so she can vote as well? Make every effort to get her the maximum info about the different orgs and to express her opinion.

And, for the record, when I look at photos of AXD chapters from California, I see a lot of Latina faces, and I suspect this is true of many NPC groups in that region. If she is truly dead-set on a Latina-specfic organization, I doubt she'll change her mind, but it may be worth it to take some time and visit the websites of specific chapters - or even to talk to members if you can.

[theta sig agd]

Okay, this may be a harsh thing to do but...you may have to drop her!! If you all can make the 19th, go the 19th even if one cannot make it. I mean it is better to have 10 girls go versus only 2. This will look very bad!

Also, if she is so fickle in her choices and so selfish I dont know aht she would be that great of a fit for everyone else. She can always go to another group!

It is hard to tell someone you care for something like this but sometimes its just what you gotta do!

I wish you hte best of luck! Please keep us posted on the day you plan to meet and the meetings!

Greek Love

WEndy

[mmcat]

corina,
it's time to go sweetie...
if you lose one, that's sad, but now time to go for the goal.
be brave and hang in. we're with you.
lol
mmcat

[Serenity]

Hey, Corina.

This is my first post, but I have been following from the get go. Impressive...

Anyway, I agree with Theta Sig AGD and FuzzieAlum. I say go ahead with the meeting without her. Sounds to me like she's pretty much made up her mind about wanting to be in an LGLO. Let her go if that's what she wants. She can't be an asset to NBO if she doesn't really want to be there. Also, I have never heard of any local social sorority affiliating with an LGLO or any other GLO outside of the NPC. I'm not saying that it's impossible, I've just never heard of that being done. Since the majority of you decided to affiliate with an NPC sorority, I think that's what you should do. She can't expect NBO to go back on that at this stage in the game.

A word of caution, your sister may not even be eligible for membership into the other organization because she is already an initiated member of NBO. She needs to make sure that this new organization does not have any stipulations against being a member of another social GLO ~ whether she deactivates or not ~ before she makes any hasty decisions. In the end, she may run the risk of not being in any org.

Just something for her to look into....

[JMUduke]

I would say you should definitley tell the one sister that her input is really important to you, that you care about her feelings etc. etc. but that the majority rules in this case. It will be tought, but she has to understand this is a mutual thing, you can't just say "I want YOU" to a sorority, so going to meet with the ones that are intersted seems like your best and only chance at this point. Tell the girl that either they get A sorority that is interested in you guys, or you wait and wait and hope a different one is, by then it is too late and you might risk it for the whole sorority....either way GOOD LUCK!! You are doing great...

[Zeta Eta]

Wishinhopin-
I have been absolutely addicted to your progress. Although i have never posted in response to anything so far. I live in Santa Clara, We are having a party tomorrow night (Friday) at Sigma Pi and I want you to come. Bring whoever you want as long as they are cool. I would love to meet you and your sisters. email me or IM me if you get a chance

[TxGirl]

From my experience with AXiD colonizations an ELC (Educatonal Leadership Consultant) will be palced with the chapter for a semester. She will pick the exec officers and council members. The members will run the chapter with her guidance. She will teach them about AXiD, help them with recruitment and help them prepare to be on their own.

As to having the new colony do recruitment on their own - most aren't prepared for it. Having never presented a formal recruitment it would be hard for the women to be competative with other groups on campus. First impressions can stick with you for a long time. We want all of our chapters to be strong and therefore want them to get off on the right foot. I would be pretty hard to be competative if there were only 8 girls doing formal recruitment vs 30+ from the other group.

I think everyone's process for colonization is slightly different, just as each group is different. Keep in touch with Marissa - she's great - as is all of our staff at Fraternity HQ.

Good luck and I hope to eventually call you my sister. You've done a great job and should be proud.

[lissagayle10]

Hey Corina,

Sorry everyone, this is a pretty long post.

I just joined GC a couple of days ago and discovered your thread. I am also the president of a local that I have recently started with the intention of affiliating with NPC. I have read your entire thread (watch out if you ever print this thing – it’s 290 pages), and I can’t believe how similar our experiences have been. I understand exactly how frustrating it is when your members don’t cooperate, and I know how hard it is to exercise authority over your friends. I have also felt like I was all alone and the only person doing any of the work. I also understand how helpless it feels to have the fate of your group resting on other people (NPC, John, and Mariko), and to have to wait and see what happens. You mentioned once that you felt like you needed to do something, but you didn’t know what – I can’t tell you how often I have felt like that! I learned as you have that if a member is lost, they weren’t meant to be there in the first place. I can also understand how exciting it is to get your first social invitation from a fraternity!

My situation is a little different than yours though. My university has a very prestigious Greek system with a well established local Panhellenic council. There are 11 extraordinary NPC Sororities and 22 IFC Fraternities. This all started because I am a member of another local, and there had been some talk among a few of us about the possibility of our group affiliating with an NPC sorority to strengthen our sisterhood. Out of curiosity, I made a few phone calls in Sept 2001 to see if it was actually possible. Then we discovered the need for another sorority here. Almost 200 women did not find a place in recruitment last fall.

The expansion process requires a 2/3 vote of the chapters to open the campus to expansion. A “yes” vote is usually followed by the presentations of different sororities. As it turned out, not everyone in the organization I started out in wanted to affiliate, so 30 of the members and I created a separate interest group in January 2002, elected some officers, and began meeting every other Monday.

The local Panhellenic has been super helpful and supportive, and they were very excited about the idea of expanding. They hoped to be able to bring a new sorority here by fall 02. Unfortunately, the majority voted not to expand yet, because some felt they needed more information before they made a decision. They are bringing an NPC consulting team here at the beginning of the fall semester to analyze campus and rush numbers and advise the chapters. They will vote again sometime in the fall. Panhellenic thinks the vote will pass this time because there are over 1,000 girls going through fall recruitment this year, and the 11 sororities can’t support that large of a number. That number is expected to grow each year with increasing enrollment of the university.

I was devastated after the negative outcome of the first vote, and felt like I had done all of that work for nothing. The morale of my sisters fell, and I lost half of my members. But the 15 of us who are left decided to keep building on our sorority and make our sisterhood stronger. We registered as a student organization in May, and we are holding a fall recruitment. We have also planned tons of social and philanthropy events for fall. Our goal is like that of NBO, to build up a strong local sorority to serve as an interest group to help a new NPC sorority to colonize. We are still in close contact with Panhellenic, and they are continuing to cheer us on, and help us out.

I know exactly how hard you have worked for this, and you should be very proud of yourself. Being the founding sister of a local sorority has been the most rewarding experience of my life as I know it has been for you. Remember what others have told you that sisterhood is the most important aspect of your sorority. If you build a strong enough bond, you can never be torn down. By working to add another sorority, you have almost single handedly created a Greek system at your university – you go girl! I know you have heard tons of words of encouragement from these wonderful people on GC, but I don’t think you can ever be encouraged too much. Every one is right about Gamma Phi missing out when they didn’t extend a bid to you, and I hope the sorority that colonizes at your university knows how lucky they are to have you. You are an extraordinary woman, and I know that your hard work will reward you in the end. Your determination should be an inspiration to everyone. I hope my situation turns out as well as yours has. Don’t give up!!

Love,
Melissa


I have a thread for rush ideas on the locals forum, so feel free to visit me there if you have any suggestions or PM me!

[theta sig agd]

Hey Melissa,

Just curious, what university are you at and what NPC groups do you already have??

[wishinhopin]

Definite meeting with Alpha Xi Delta, at UCSC, on August 19th! It looks like everyone will be able to make it! I am so happy! More later!
love, Corina

[theta sig agd]

Glad to hear of your confirmed meeting!! Let us know how it goes!!

[mmcat]

keep us in the loop. i know my fingers are crossed for you.

[Peaches-n-Cream]

Good luck, Corina!