Rush at UCSC - Page 33

dzsaigirl · #**481** 03-09-2002, 01:34 PM

If you need to convince them that the activity is hazing just ask them if they are willing to forgo affilliating with an NPC sorority in order to protect their stupid no makeup activity, 'cause let me tell you how hard the excrement will hit the air circulation device when word gets out that y'all did that! If it is worth losing everthing to them, then tell them to go ahead. But I agree that 1) it is blatant hazing and 2) it does nothing to benefit the group. New members (as you should call them since nobody ever says pledge anymore) might do group service projects together, or have new member sisterhood events like pizza and movie night or whatever. Anything they do should be done to benefit their friendships, benefit the community, or just help them grow as young women. They shouldn't have to do anything just for the sake of doing it (like the makeup thing or any other hazing stuff).

wishinhopin · #**482** 03-12-2002, 03:07 AM

Hey everyone,

We had a meeting and things were cleared. I feel like I had to be sort of forceful and bitchy, but ultimately I feel like we had a really positive and productive meeting. Thank you all so much for your advice and input...it means alot to me. I'll keep you all posted!
love, Corina

wishinhopin · #**483** 03-13-2002, 01:31 AM

I am so frustrated. So very frustrated. My girls want to spend $100 on flyers. First off, let me point out that our current money to work with is $140. It will be something like $350 when we get back from spring break, but I personally think that the hundred for flyers is a little excessive. Not only that, but the hundred will be for FIVE THOUSAND of those shiny little flyers like for raves and stuff. I know it's a good deal, but we really need like 500 at the very most. It seems a little unreasonable to me to spend that much money on ten times as many as we need. Plus, do we really even need the shiny flyers? We can't just try to work out cheaper flyers or something? Anyway, this is the conversation that I had with Liz while she was on the phone with Wendy. We had previously (last night) decided that we would look into other options before spending that money on those flyers. But apparently Wendy and Liz felt that this wasn't a good idea, or it somehow didn't work for some reason (it was not explained to me clearly at all) so now they're trying to change these plans or something. I don't even understand what's going on. Anyway, Liz was on the phone with Wendy and IMing me this conversation:

wishinhopin · #**484** 03-13-2002, 01:53 AM

Ok, this is my convo with Wendy:

I'm so frustrated I'm crying and I hate this. Why is this so hard? I don't even know what to do, I don't want to be a bitch but sometimes I really don't feel like I can get my point across in any other way. My feelings are so hurt and I hate knowing that my sorority can't wait for this year to be over with so they can get rid of me. I hate this.

aggieAXO · #**485** 03-13-2002, 02:26 AM

oh sweetie,

you are doing the best you can and doing an outstanding job at that. Being the president is tough, sounds like you handled the situation with a cool, logical head. Make a budget and stick with it, if they don't agree then they can dip into their own pocket.
I am so sorry you are upset. I just want you to know how much all of us admire you.

navane · #**486** 03-13-2002, 03:12 AM

Corina,

Oh boy...I'm so sorry that you're having this experience. You sound frustrated and hurt.

I think you did good by telling them how you feel. Perhaps you should have held back on your emotion a bit and not had such an outburst. Nonetheless, I can see too that Wendy told you she felt uninformed and frustrated. Liz mentioned feeling uninformed also.

It sounds like all three of you are having trouble communicating. It's unclear to me if the original decisions were made during a meeting. If the group decided to get a certain type of flyer, then that needs to be honored. If the ladies in charge of the flyer production run into unexpected cost, they need to get permission from the group first.

Again, you made a good move by setting a boundary. You said that sorority things should be discussed at sorority meetings.

I agree that $100 for 5,000 shiny flyers is excessive. It doesn't matter if it's a "good deal." You won't need 5,000 flyers if 500 will do. On top of that, I don't see why they need to be such high quality. I don't know what kind of club/organization experience you all have, but I have LOADS of experience when it comes to these things. Regular copies on colored paper work just fine. You can get even more bang for your buck by making the flyer the size of a half sheet so that you can get two on one page.

If the total bank roll right now is $140 then, obviously, *very* frugal spending is key. Wendy makes the point that you'll have about $350 when upcoming dues are included. Well, you don't have that money *today* so I'd suggest against spending money you don't have.

Perhaps you can all come to a compromise. Ask this printer man what he can do for $50. Maybe he can make 2,500 shiney flyers instead. It's still too many, but at least the the other girls will get to have the flyers they want.

At the next meeting, you all might want to budget out *exact* amounts for *everything*. Wendy mentioned that pizza is $15 and soda $6...but don't forget the price of napkins, cups etc. The little things can sneak up on you if you don't pay attention.

Perhaps Liz and Wendy are very excited to finally be moving forward with the sorority and they just want to have the finer things now instead of later. I can understand how that feels. I just came back this evening from a visit to Ikea (one of my favorite stores!) and I wish I could buy everything in there. Unfortunately, I'm still on a college student budget. If I save now, I know I'll be able to buy nice things later when I get into my career. This applies to NBO as well. You ladies need to focus on the things which will help build a solid foundation for NBO - and perhaps for an NPC affiliation.

Finally, *stay positive.* Boy, this must be hard for you right now. I was once the President of a club where people just stared at me funny during meetings. I used to get really frustrated. After I graduated, people e-mailed me to say good-bye. Out of nowhere, they started telling me what a great President I had been and how I had done so much for the club. I was totally shocked. You see, your NBO sisters may not see what you're doing now (much like teenagers and parents!), but they'll come to understand it later on. And believe me, once you're gone, they'll wish that you'd still be there!

The keys here are: 1) Stay positive, stay focused. 2) Understand that responsible planning today builds for a solid tomorrow. It's nice to have nice things now, but that will result in your new members being poor as dirt next year. Would you want your little sisters to have to struggle? No! So don't be frivolous with resources. Take it one step at a time.

......Kelly

wishinhopin · #**487** 03-13-2002, 04:45 AM

Somewhat of an improvement....I've also sent a desperate plea to Mary asking for help and advice so this problem can be dealt with before things get all bitter and out of hand. Anyway, this is the convo I just had with Liz:

Sweetums · #**488** 03-13-2002, 07:29 AM

I'm not trying to critisize you, but don't you think its an invasion of privacy to post your conversations on here without notifying the other girls you were chatting with?

RockChalk · #**489** 03-13-2002, 09:46 AM

If it were, half the people on the internet would have been sued by now.

Hang in there, Corina!

Peaches-n-Cream · #**490** 03-13-2002, 10:41 AM

Suggestion: You need more than a weekly meeting. Maybe the sorority should set up committees which meet in between chapter meetings in order to hammer out the details and bring the results to the chapter. When you make a decision at a meeting, you as a sorority need to stick with it. When it comes to issues of money, you need to prioritize and make a budget. Figure out your expenses and collect dues. Make it clear that unless the sorority approves the expense at a meeting, a sister will not be reimbursed if she spends money on her own. That will stop sisters from spending money like crazy. It's amazing how much a budget can help. You should ask Mary if her sorority's treasurer can give you suggestions for dues and budgets. I think that your problems are due to a lack of organization. Good luck!

BTW, we got our flyers for rush and other events at Staples and our campus copier. We told them the number that we needed and they had a price listing. Yes, you get a discount for bulk, but it's wasted if there are too many flyers. We never made over 500 copies and we managed to plaster a campus of over 10,000 students.

volgirl2376 · #**491** 03-13-2002, 11:47 AM

Sounds like everyone in NBO needs to take a serious breath and relax. All this conflict over flyers???

Some suggestions for NBO would be - simmer down, have more than a weekly meeting...and in those meetings discuss all these things as a GROUP but more importantly as sisters! Stop the cursing and relaying information and inmature stuff - they are just flyers! I am afraid that all the arguing and fighting over the small things doesnt give much hope on tackling the larger issues to come. I think NBO is in desperate need of a sister retreat or something to get back on track and focused on whats important

FuzzieAlum · #**492** 03-13-2002, 12:55 PM

I totally agree with what Volgirl said. It's my experience that when the chapter starts getting hung up over flyers, or what kind of napkins to get for pref, or t-shirts, they is a bigger problem going on. Maybe it's trite, but it sounds like sisterhood has gotten pushed aside for the moment. Who will care 10 years from now what flyers you got? Sure, the expensive ones are a bad idea, but if the girls who want them get them and then find themselves strapped for cash, they will learn the frugality lesson more thoroughly than they ever will by someone else telling them.

For future expenditures - I would think that the chapter's job would be to set a maximum spending limit on an item or event, and then a committee's (even if it's just two girls) job to execute it. That's generally the way we worked it. If they go over their limit, only reimburse them up to their limit.

And definitely, take time out for a retreat. Sit around in jammies and drink cocoa and do something like a "gavel pass" where you share your gripes and a "bear pass" where you share your happy thoughts. You know what they say about all work and no play ...

Have you thought about getting an advisor for your group? Maybe there is a faculty member who is Greek, or a nearby alum of some chapter who is willing to help you out?

wishinhopin · #**493** 03-13-2002, 04:48 PM

Hi everyone,

Ok first off. I shouldn't have posted those things...I wasn't thinking particularly clearly and I feel bad now. Thus why they are deleted. I just get so frustrated because I feel like no one understands my point of view, so I want to know that someone can at least see where I'm coming from. But anyway, it wasn't right so now that's done with. I don't even know what to do...sometimes I feel like we never even had a sisterhood, it was all just business to get things off the ground. I hate being Prez sometimes, I just feel so disconnected from the rest of the group. Part of that is because my girls plan these social activities that I really just don't want to do- like driving forty five minutes to go to these crowded, ghetto clubs out in an entirely different city. That's just not my scene you know? But they get offended because I don't go. I really have had no fun at those places- we've been before and I didn't enjoy it at all...and when I try to plan other ideas they just don't get received well. Or they'll have frat guys from other schools (schools at least forty five minutes away, sometimes a couple hours) over to party on school nights..I just can't do that. I really can't. I'm so tired after everything I do during the week, there's no time for me to have fun until the weekend. Maybe I'm just being selfish I don't know. Anyway, I gave up on the flyer thing. I do feel like I was trying to make the best decision, but I guess I have to give on some things also. It kills me to see so much of our money go towards something that I feel is unnecesary crap, but if I try to fight it any more I'm just going to piss people off. Everything has to be a compromise, but I feel like just giving up sometimes- I didn't start a sorority to have everyone hate me you know? I don't even know what to do. I emailed Mary and begged her for help, but she's just as busy as I am so she probably hasn't even checked her email yet. And we haven't heard from any other national groups yet...I feel like we're slipping down a hill and I don't know how to get us going again. No wonder they think I'm a bad president. Sorry this is so depressed, and sorry again for posting those convos, I feel really bad about that.

maggieaxid · #**494** 03-13-2002, 05:07 PM

breathe Corina! and lets look at this from another way.

what NBO needs first and formost (in my opinion) is ORGANIZATION. Not everything should be left up to you to decide. Thats why GLO's have an executive council. Its to delegate responsibilties to other people, so everyone has time to themselves.
INMHO, this is what i think needs to happen:
1. Raise dues. If they want to spend $100 on flyers, tshirts, or anything else that is not about sisterhood, there should be a lump some of money going into that account. It should remain seperate from sister hood activities. Plus, if you want to have a good rush, then you need to get some cash flow going. I think (and this is just what i have seen and heard from my campus) normal dues ran from about $250-$400 a semester. and thats per person. (however that does include what we would pay to nationals, but you eventually would have to do that anyway).
2. Get an ANAL RETENTIVE TREASURER. That person will be the person who disperses the money. Only the president and she should have access to any finances. If she thinks $100 flyers are a really bad investment, she doesnt have to give them a check unless you approve it. In my GLO we have to have both the presidents signature and the treasurers signature on each purchase order and check.
3. Have an executive council meeting once a week, on top of your regular meetings. This would be just to review some issues that may come up.
4. Have the other exsisting members make up councils....like the social council (which would also include risk management issues), the recruitment council (they would form ideas to get the ball rolling for rush), the new member/education council (they would come up with ideas for the new members once they get in), ect.
Then have each of these councils report to different individuals on the executive council.

Does that make any sense???? anyway, thats just how my chapter of AZD did things. and it worked extremely well!

-Maggie

erniegurl00 · #**495** 03-13-2002, 05:26 PM

I definitely agree with Maggie. Now I'm just now jumping into the conversation and I don't know exactly what is going on in NBO, but I think starting up an exec council is the way to go. I am currently the VP Social (aka new member educator) and during pledgeship I felt like I was in charge of everything and all the weight was on my shoulders. BUT a wonderful alum told me that the purpose of a chapter is to be united; not one person is in charge totally. Like Maggie said, start different committees. In Pi Phi we call these Interest Groups. I believe we have IGs like Rush, Philanthopic, Spirit, and Fraternity Heritage. This way leadership is delegated more throughout the house, and the exec council can help support you through the rough times. Corina, I know how you feel. I've been frustrated many times with my house. My house is trying to raise its numbers and create a better standing on campus. It's hard "starting over" or starting totally from scratch, but it takes time and effort. I know in the long run all of your hard work, devotion, and love will come through in the end. Remember this isn't the end of the world. I really hope things work out well for you sweetie. You deserve it.

Erin