Book pledged: the secret lives of sororities

[jess_pom]

Originally posted by LilMissTNT
The phrase she uses is relevant to a Sigma Kappa but our closed motto is different. She must have been talking to some rather confused sisters...

Probably while they were under the influence of their moderate drug use or after a graphic sexual encounter. Or they were totally snookered. You'd have to be to share your sorority secrets!

[LilMissTNT]

Probably while they were under the influence of their moderate drug use or after a graphic sexual encounter. Or they were totally snookered. You'd have to be to share your sorority secrets!

No sh*t Jes. I just think its funny in a sad kind of way... I wonder how much Robbins knows about the Panhellenic houses in terms of secret info (grips, rituals etc).

[dgmeredith]

Wow! I just finished reading this booking this morning and I randomly came across this chat, how strange!

I go to Southern Methodist University (the school which started and finished the book) and it is true about the "pig run", but the intent behind the run isn't as Ms. Robbins wrote it to be. I ran to my house because I knew that I belonged in my house and I wanted to be with my new sisters and put on my sorority letters as soon as possible. My guy friends in fraternities (who had received their bids the night before and maybe still drunk from the celebrated, I will admit that to be true) sought us out in the crowds of squealing girls and congratulated us on bids, they did not throw raw meat or water balloons at us!

I went to an all girls' boarding high school, and I think what Ms. Robbins doesn't realize is that no matter where or how 100 plus girls are organized there are going to be the pushy/mean girls, the "goody-goody tattle tale girls", the drug users, and the reclusive girls. I don't think that many of the dynamics that Ms. Robbins speaks about in her book are true to only sorority life but true to a girl's life. At my boarding school we had the same drama about roommates, boyfriends and senioritis!

I mostly feel that this book takes the facts from four girls lives and blames their problems on sorority life and not the reality of the college.

P.S. being the nosy gossiper that I am... I was wondering if anyone knew which school Ms. Robbins based her book on? I know that there is an Eta Gamma chapter of Delta Gamma at Texas Tech which I wonder if one of the alumna interviewed is from... sorry just being a busy-body!


Meredith

[33girl]

I'm up to December and will probably finish it over the weekend, but I just had to state this because I couldn't believe my eyes.

SHE USED THE SOUTHERN BELLE PRIMER AS A SOURCE.

Apparently someone didn't put it back in the humor section at Waldenbooks and the fact that it's a satire went over her head. I can't wait till she uses "Beavis and Butt-Head Do America" as a travel guide.

[tinydancer]

33girl, I noticed that too!! I was reading along and thought "hmmmm - that sounds familiar" and realized what the original source was. She did cite it in the endnotes, but I agree - she seemed to ASSume that it was the gospel truth.

[ADPiShannan]

lmao 33girl. I love reading your posts. You are so right on about her and her lovely sources.

[Taualumna]

Originally posted by 33girl


SHE USED THE SOUTHERN BELLE PRIMER AS A SOURCE.

[WCUgirl]

My library STILL doesn't have this book in.

About 3 weeks ago I noticed they had ordered it, so I reserved a copy. When I checked back earlier this week, they had only ordered the 3 copies (which still aren't in) and there were 25 holds! I checked just now, there are now 36 holds, the original 3 copies must be in (they're showing as "On Hold"), and they've ordered an additional 25 copies. Guess they finally got the clue that it's going to be a popular book.

So I have no clue when I'm going to be able to constructively participate in this thread.

[33girl]

Holy isht! Done already. This really is like Sweet Valley High or First Love from Silhouette. Except their writing is better.

I do agree with 3 things she said: there's a chasm between the image nationals want and what the chapters want to be, rush should be deferred till second semester, and the saying everything is hazing fosters the in for a buck, in for a quarter mentality.

That was about ALL I agreed with. Her research is horrible - she doesn't realize that the people who work at HQs are NOT the national council/policy makers, she thinks D Phi E's mascot is a blue lion (LOL) and the most glaring, she assumed that sororities at a big school are how sororities operate everywhere. Her description of "Subrosa" meetings sounded like what I experienced - I'm betting other state school girls would agree. I mean, does she think all colleges are like Yale? I would hope not.

Her constant citing of Ready for Rush and Rush: A Girl's Guide etc is ridiculous. She presents these books as though they were official publications or endorsed by NPC.

She talks out of both sides of her mouth. The sorority sisters going to get piercings together obviously disgusts her - but the Zeta Delta Xis boinking on every available surface in the house is OK, because they're coed. She makes the rush/intake process for NPHC groups sound like a piece of cake, when we all know it's NOT. I'm sure at a lot of schools it's much harder than going through NPC rush. And can she kiss Melody Twilley's butt anymore? I think she's using her in the "magical negro" context (thank you laidback fella for the link), which is just racism turned inside out. As for Twilley herself, her true colors (no pun) show when it's stated that if the Alabama Panhellenic doesn't vote the local multicultural sorority she founded into Panhellenic, she's considering suing.

The girls that she picked all have issues to begin with - Vicki faked her way through rush and doesn't want to be away from her hs friends, Sabrina is using the sorority for "white connections" and is more interested in cheap quarters and boinking her prof (and telling her mother!! grooooss), Caitlin has a psycho boyfriend and equally psycho controlling mama, and Amy's parents definitely should make sure she's in therapy as she's trying to get over her sister's death with male attention. I sincerely hope these 4 girls are fake, for their sakes LOL - and the intimacy of the dialogue leads me to believe they are. However they definitely showed that what you put in, you get out. Once Vicki starts being sociable and stops bitching about her situation, she has fun.

Robbins just seems to have issue with any sort of responsibility to or identification with something larger than yourself. I'm really glad I wasn't on her lacrosse team.

Ooh, and I almost forgot the best parts about MY sorority. She includes several quotes from "Laney" who was president of her chapter at her school in Nevada. Only one problem with that. We don't have a chapter in Nevada. We've NEVER had a chapter in Nevada. I don't think we've ever even had an alum chapter or colony there. LMDAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[33girl]

2 more things because my other post is too damn long. How on earth did she get into a rush retreat session??? And, since I don't have it, the IMs. What the hell? Are they really that important? Do people change these to say they're going to the bathroom? Was she checking these things constantly? It seems a little odd to me.

[LauGh A Lot]

Well, I never really thought about joining a sorority until i read the book. My friend let me borrow it and told me i should read it. since she read the book she became very anti-greek. however, i am the type of person that likes to hear both sides of a story. therefore, after i finished the book and heard ms. robbin's story i was curious about actual member's stories. so.. that is why i joined greekchat and from what i have encountered about reading all your posts the good outnumbers the bad. therefore, i actually want to thank ms. robbins for writing her book. if not, i would not have even considered joining a sorority. i can't wait till next year so i can rush!

[ADPiShannan]

Thats great. Im glad to see someone found something positive out of that book. Good luck with joining a sorority. If oyu ever have ?'s ask away.

[Lady Pi Phi]

Originally posted by 33girl
Ooh, and I almost forgot the best parts about MY sorority. She includes several quotes from "Laney" who was president of her chapter at her school in Nevada. Only one problem with that. We don't have a chapter in Nevada. We've NEVER had a chapter in Nevada. I don't think we've ever even had an alum chapter or colony there. LMDAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh no!! Hahahaha

I wonder if anyone's pointed this out to her publisher? I'm pretty sure this is not the only "mistake" in her book.

I know if I were a publisher I would hate to think I printed something full of factualy errors.

[sugar and spice]

Originally posted by 33girl


She talks out of both sides of her mouth. The sorority sisters going to get piercings together obviously disgusts her - but the Zeta Delta Xis boinking on every available surface in the house is OK, because they're coed. She makes the rush/intake process for NPHC groups sound like a piece of cake, when we all know it's NOT. I'm sure at a lot of schools it's much harder than going through NPC rush. And can she kiss Melody Twilley's butt anymore? I think she's using her in the "magical negro" context (thank you laidback fella for the link), which is just racism turned inside out. As for Twilley herself, her true colors (no pun) show when it's stated that if the Alabama Panhellenic doesn't vote the local multicultural sorority she founded into Panhellenic, she's considering suing.

The girls that she picked all have issues to begin with - Vicki faked her way through rush and doesn't want to be away from her hs friends, Sabrina is using the sorority for "white connections" and is more interested in cheap quarters and boinking her prof (and telling her mother!! grooooss), Caitlin has a psycho boyfriend and equally psycho controlling mama, and Amy's parents definitely should make sure she's in therapy as she's trying to get over her sister's death with male attention. I sincerely hope these 4 girls are fake, for their sakes LOL - and the intimacy of the dialogue leads me to believe they are. However they definitely showed that what you put in, you get out. Once Vicki starts being sociable and stops bitching about her situation, she has fun.

A couple comments:

I actually don't think the four girls' "issues" were that out of the ordinary. You take any four random college girls and chances are they're going to have comparable ones. Everybody's got their Achilles' heel -- it's just that these girls' were more noticeable because it's in a book format and thus exaggerated, their actions isolated. Let's face it, sorority girls are all about the drama. I could relate to every character in one way or another, and while there were definitely times when I couldn't (hi, sleeping with my rapist!), I don't think the behavior sounded all that unbelievable.

I'm really glad you brought up the double standards that she completely bought into, though. I remember reading an article in the local paper about co-operative living communities that made some subtle jabs at the Greek system because many of the co-ops are near Greek Row (some used to be Greek housing, in fact). While reading the article, I commented to a friend, "You know, some of them like to think that they're so much better than us, but the differences between Greek organizations and co-ops are pretty small." I went on to list the similarities -- we both live in big houses down by the lake, when they have openings in the house they have a period similar to "rush" where they decide whether or not they like someone enough to have them live with them, they have dinners together and bond by having nights very similar to "sisterhoods," they express their dislike for the sexual double standard by having singalong protests whereas sorority girls express their dislike for the sexual double standard by sleeping around . . .

I kid.

I get the feeling that some co-ed fraternities (as well as local GLOs, non-traditional groups like service-based, GLOs at schools with non-traditional Greek systems, and any Greeks who don't identify with the mainstream SEC/Big 12/Big 10/PAC 10 huge traditional Greek system model) look down on being considered "Greek" even though they are and that Robbins bought into that . . . It's like they want the benefits of being identified as Greek (brother/sisterhood, social life) but they aren't willing to take on the negatives (specifically stereotypes). I remember talking to a member of a non-traditional group here, who described her GLO as, "Well, we're Greek, but we're not Greek, you know?" (At least this was before she knew I was a sorority girl.) It was obvious that she was referring to her perceptions of the social Greek system. I wanted to say to her, "Well, you've got a house . . . you throw parties at your house . . . you guys even do some mild hazing -- off the top of my head, I think that makes you more Greek than a lot of the Greeks here." But I'm a nice girl so I bit my tongue.

I'd have to re-read to make sure, but it seemed like Robbins was accusing these sorority women of being both too traditional AND too radical in regards to their sexuality. How does this work?

[AXOKatie]

Originally posted by dgmeredith

I went to an all girls' boarding high school, and I think what Ms. Robbins doesn't realize is that no matter where or how 100 plus girls are organized there are going to be the pushy/mean girls, the "goody-goody tattle tale girls", the drug users, and the reclusive girls. I don't think that many of the dynamics that Ms. Robbins speaks about in her book are true to only sorority life but true to a girl's life. At my boarding school we had the same drama about roommates, boyfriends and senioritis!

I mostly feel that this book takes the facts from four girls lives and blames their problems on sorority life and not the reality of the college.

you hit the nail on the head. i went to an all-girls boarding school too and you know what was different? Not a whole lot. We had colors and a mascot (the snail...we rocked ) and the same cliques and problems that sororities have, but maybe not as many boy problems since, HA!, where did we find them? We were too busy doing homework Prep schools are fabulous at teaching you how to speed read at 3:30 in the morning.