Does it matter where the rec comes from?

[rr14]

For an out of state PNM rushing fall 2010 at an SEC school... does it matter if the rec comes from THAT school? I have been preparing and learned of a number of sorority affiliations from family friends, but I wondered if I should ask the person from the school I am attending in the fall to write the rec? Do PNM's ever include more than one rec in a packet? I am planning on preparing packets for all sororities at my school; I do not have a particular one I am aiming for. I am trying to learn all I can about each one. Thank you!

[Zillini]

There is no one size fits all answer to your questions. Some chapters give more weight to Recs from their own chapter alumnae, some don't. Some orgs look for Recs from alumnae from a PNMs home town/area, while others would rather have one from someone who knows her well regardless of where the alumna lives. Some have I/Natl policies they need to follow regarding Recs, some don't. My personal opinion is it is always best to have an alumna who knows you write the Rec whenever that is available.

One more thing, it is not the PNMs responsibility to mail the Recs in, rather the alumna does this. It is courteous to provide her with a large enough envelope addressed to the chapter that has the correct amount of postage already on it. This makes it easier and doesn't cost her any money.

[rr14]

Your answer is thoughtful and logical, thank you...as you can tell I have a lot to learn about the Panhellenic process. We have a strong local chapter and they start meetings in early spring. I am looking forward to the process, I want to join a sorority where we complement each other.

[AnchorAlumna]

Looks like the OP is going to Ole Miss.
In that case, a rec from a member from the Ole Miss chapter should be sought, along with one from someone who knows you.

[violetpretty]

Originally Posted by AnchorAlumna

Looks like the OP is going to Ole Miss.
In that case, a rec from a member from the Ole Miss chapter should be sought, along with one from someone who knows you.

One thing to keep in mind, an active from the chapter at Ole Miss may not write you a rec. So, if you know Ole Miss alumnae and have stronger personal connections for a chapter, there is no reason to choose. Get them both. If I recall correctly, Chi Omega at Ole Miss actually asks for two recs.

[honeychile]

Originally Posted by tootiepie

This is something that really bothered me while we were getting recs for my daughter. We were told by many people that they wanted recs from LSU alums. We had many friends of the family and teachers who could right wonderful recs for her that went to other schools. We went with the ladies who know her. We did find recs from LSU alums but I am sure that most of these ladies marked the recs as not knowing her personally. In the long run I really don't know if any of these helped or hurt. I think you need those recs but once they are in it is up to you and how well you click with the girls.

Originally Posted by violetpretty

One thing to keep in mind, an active from the chapter at Ole Miss may not write you a rec. So, if you know Ole Miss alumnae and have stronger personal connections for a chapter, there is no reason to choose. Get them both. If I recall correctly, Chi Omega at Ole Miss actually asks for two recs.

I was going to say, if you have a choice, the rec from that chapter or local alumnae association is probably better than the one from 1,000 miles away - but with a disclaimer. If you do know someone personally who is an alumna of XYZ but not from that school, send two. The local to the chapter rec will show that you did your homework, but the personal one will say how wonderful you are and how their chapter can't do without you!

[3d4life]

Originally Posted by violetpretty

One thing to keep in mind, an active from the chapter at Ole Miss may not write you a rec. So, if you know Ole Miss alumnae and have stronger personal connections for a chapter, there is no reason to choose. Get them both. If I recall correctly, Chi Omega at Ole Miss actually asks for two recs.

This is not true for every organization.

[tootiepie]

This is something that really bothered me while we were getting recs for my daughter. We were told by many people that they wanted recs from LSU alums. We had many friends of the family and teachers who could right wonderful recs for her that went to other schools. We went with the ladies who know her. We did find recs from LSU alums but I am sure that most of these ladies marked the recs as not knowing her personally. In the long run I really don't know if any of these helped or hurt. I think you need those recs but once they are in it is up to you and how well you click with the girls.

[gee_ess]

I stand corrected. I thought that no one could write one for a woman at her own chapter in any circumstance.

That does seem to negate the whole purpose of a rec, imo, though. Actives are already, in essence, recommending pnms to their chapters through the processes they go through during recruitment. (many which are private and fall under Membership Selection) The alum rec seems to serve another purpose, imo.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by gee_ess

I stand corrected. I thought that no one could write one for a woman at her own chapter in any circumstance.

That does seem to negate the whole purpose of a rec, imo, though. Actives are already, in essence, recommending pnms to their chapters through the processes they go through during recruitment. (many which are private and fall under Membership Selection) The alum rec seems to serve another purpose, imo.

The active might be a rho chi or studying abroad and as such not participating in membership selection. And even if it's not that, there are other reasons why an active wouldn't interface w/ a rushee.

[agzg]

I was under the understanding that recruitment counselors could not participate in recruitment for her own chapter under any circumstances, including writing a rec. Wouldn't that jeopardize her impartiality?

[33girl]

Originally Posted by agzg

I was under the understanding that recruitment counselors could not participate in recruitment for her own chapter under any circumstances, including writing a rec. Wouldn't that jeopardize her impartiality?

She's not voting. She's rec-ing. The sisters who are voting can take that rec and poop on it, if they want. She's not participating in rush any more than the 80 year old alumna who wrote a rec is. That's the way I look at it, anyway.

I honestly think that collegians really aren't going to want to write recs even if they're allowed, because if the girl turns out to be a trainwreck, they're going to hear about it every. freaking. day. Again, just my opinion.

[VandalSquirrel]

Originally Posted by agzg

I was under the understanding that recruitment counselors could not participate in recruitment for her own chapter under any circumstances, including writing a rec. Wouldn't that jeopardize her impartiality?

This would probably be another good reason why we require all RIFS & LIFS to be turned in before the start of recruitment. Rho Chis may be able to participate as they may not be legally disaffiliated until check in, so they could write a form. However if she knows a woman the PNM is going to know what sorority she is in and that could get uncomfortable. I really do try and make myself available for women who are first in college or out of state but it usually is for a school not my own since I'm a bit out of the loop on things but will respond cheerfully if called upon (given enough notice ).

In my situation I am from another state and when it comes to rec writing my collegian sisters will likely know someone from back home or be able to procure information a hell of a lot easier than I can. For out of state women I've helped out as I am quite the networker but for women in state I'm somewhat at a disadvantage. I'm honestly a lot more comfortable with a member in good standing writing a LIF or RIF who really knows the woman than just information form me. Something that I find questionable collegians may be okay with and it really is their choice in the end.

Questionable for me is something I can easily find, like obvious alcohol use under 18 or something, which a lot of people due, but I'm kind of an old lady and believe we shouldn't advertise breaking the law.