For the Dads: Why Your Son Was Cut

[EE-BO]

This post is a preemptive strike against an invasion of the helicopter daddies.

Yes, I know you and your son are hurting. This may be the first major disappointment he has experienced in his young life. So you come to Greekchat and get the answer to the big question:

Why was my studly, athletic, intelligent, charming and gentlemanly son cut?

The answer is often very simple. There were hundreds of other sons who were equally or even moreso studly, athletic, intelligent, charming and gentlemanly. Plus they may already have ties to boys in these chapters, more legacy relationships- and maybe other relationships, period (wink, wink.)

Perhaps he had his heart set on the "top tier" groups and didn't even give the others a moment of consideration. Life is competitive and some thing are completely out of your control. Accept it and move on.

There are possibly more homoerotic reasons for him being cut. There could be many things you don't know about your son. That's right. No matter how close you think you are (or maybe you are too close), he really doesn't always share everything with you. Here are a few things some other perfect sons have done that affected their recruitment experience:

- He refused to sleep with a member's girlfriend (But you know he is a player!)
- He refused to go to any sorority house this week, get a girl drunk and then hump her into oblivion (But you know he is straight!)
- He came off as polite, sensitive and a guy who can appreciate a Lifetime Movie (But you know he is a real man!)
- He likes to get drunk on vodka and smokes pot (But you know he likes old whiskey and good blow!)

There are countless other reasons (both concrete and abstract) he may have been cut. But the point is, you and the members of Greekchat will never know until that day when he buys a condo in a trendy neighborhood, gets a "roommate" and buys a pasta machine.

Give your son comfort (in a platonic way naturally), but please do not do the following things to further embarass him or yourself

- Do not call the chapter and tell them your son likes chicks
- Do not call the IFC and tell them your son likes to ride the white stallion
- Do not call every alumnus you have ever met in your entire life
- Do not call the farm animals who prepared your son for Greek Life to express outrage
- And for God's sake, do not call headquarters and say "My son wants to get laid!"

It's over. There's nothing you or your son can do about it. You will never know why he was cut. All you need to know is that Rachel Ray, Richard Simmons, Suzie Orman and Paula Deen are now a permanent part of your existence. Quit whining and bring some fabulous fun into your life! Let your son handle his own disappointments. Life is full of them. Go drink whiskey and spend some time with the woman you love- or maybe even your wife.

It has been an interesting weekend- and you know what, screw it.

Lady Longhorn is a smart and classy lady at one of THE chapters of the best school on this planet. (for anyone who does not "get it"- the above post is an almost 100% verbatim repeat of her CENSORED post for helicopter moms- transformed into malespeak with a few liberties to show you my sophisticated humor.)

And every time I go visit my chapter as an advisor, I push the guys to grow a pair and make a good life for themselves- which will in and of itself bring our chapter to where it belongs.

This is the internet, where thick skins and keen minds prevail to the detriment of the weak and whiney. And I am tired of trying to play intermediary. Read this and have fun. And if you don't like it- do what you will.