Confusion about recruitment history...please help!

[booksnblush]

I apologize if a question like this has been asked before - I tried to search and couldn't find anything.

For a long time I really wasn't sure I wanted to join a sorority. I didn't rush at all freshman year. Sophomore year, I had been toying with the idea but wasn't really sure. That fall, my roommate was rushing Phi Mu and I decided to go to one of their recruitment parties with her. I had a good time and liked the girls a lot, but I realized that as much as I liked it, I had no idea how I felt about any of the other sororities. At that point, it was too late to rush any of the other sororities, so I decided to put it off until the spring. However, that spring, I had a lot of personal issues going on, and too be honest, spring rush seemed really stressful and kind of scary, so decided to put off recruitment until the fall of my junior year - which I now realize was a big mistake. Anyway, after spring rush had ended, I ran into an acquaintance who happened to be in Phi Mu, and told her I was probably going to rush in the fall. She told me few if any of the sororities were going to be doing fall rush, since most of them had met total during the spring. However, at the time, Phi Mu was doing some kind of informal open recruitment, I'm not really sure what to call it, but basically they were just gathering a bunch of interested girls and having casual get-togethers, and then giving out bids. She told me they had one event left and invited me. Thinking I didn't really want to wait until spring of my junior year to rush, I went, hung out with the sisters, and again had a great time. My friend told me they were thinking about holding a few more events, and said she would contact me, but I never heard from her. I decided to contact her and asked if they had any more events planned. She said they had finished giving out bids for the semester, and that her sisters liked me but there was "a problem with my recruitment history." Since we weren't terribly close, I kind of felt uncomfortable pressing her for more information, and decided I would just rush sometime junior year, whether fall or spring.

Now, I'm going to be a junior in the fall. My understanding is that as long as I don't go through to pref, I will be able to rush two semesters in a row - i.e., I could theoretically rush in the fall and then rush again in the spring. But I'm really uncertain, because I never went to pref the first time around, and I still had problems - I don't know if there was some other reason, if I was perhaps supposed to notify them that I was dropping out of recruitment that fall or something. I doubt that that was the problem - Greek life is not very intense at my school, and for fall recruitment I'm not even sure you have to go to all the parties for that particular sorority in order to get invited to pref; I figured that since I didn't go to their second party, they just thought I wasn't interested and just didn't invite me back. I'm wondering if perhaps they just thought I was being wishy-washy (which was kind of true at the time) and didn't give me a bid because of that, but I'm wondering if this is something I should check out with the Greek Life office on campus?

In any case, now I am absolutely certain that I want to rush. Naturally, I'd like to do it as soon as possible, but from what I've heard, only one or two of my school's seven sororities are going to have fall recruitment. Now, if I was absolutely certain that I wanted to join one of those two, I would go for it, but I really don't know. I have friends in pretty much all the sororities on campus and I feel like I could find my place in any one of them - but definitely some more than others. I feel like I really have to go through recruitment with all of the sororities in order to see which is the best fit, but on the other hand, spring of my junior year feels kind of late, and I know that freshmen are heavily preferred during spring rush.

So essentially, here are the questions I'm asking:
1. Since I don't have much time left, I really need to do things right this time - what could have possibly been wrong with my recruitment history, and is this something I should discuss with the Greek Life office?
2. Would it be considered acceptable or even prudent if I were to rush the two sororities that are holding fall recruitment, see if I like them, and if not, drop out of recruitment before pref and rush again in the spring? I'm concerned that if I do this, I might like one of the sororities but again feel like I need to see all of them, and considering my history I might already come across as a little indecisive...but on the other hand, spring rush is so far away, and then I would only be in whichever sorority I choose for a year and a half.

Hope this makes sense - sorry it's so long! Any advice is greatly appreciated

[KSUViolet06]

Originally Posted by booksnblush

So essentially, here are the questions I'm asking:
1. Since I don't have much time left, I really need to do things right this time - what could have possibly been wrong with my recruitment history, and is this something I should discuss with the Greek Life office?
2. Would it be considered acceptable or even prudent if I were to rush the two sororities that are holding fall recruitment, see if I like them, and if not, drop out of recruitment before pref and rush again in the spring? I'm concerned that if I do this, I might like one of the sororities but again feel like I need to see all of them, and considering my history I might already come across as a little indecisive...but on the other hand, spring rush is so far away, and then I would only be in whichever sorority I choose for a year and a half.

Hope this makes sense - sorry it's so long! Any advice is greatly appreciated

My honest answers:

There's nothing to discuss with Greek Life. I really don't see what talking to Greek Life could do to change or improve your recruitment chances. They have no control over who gets a bid.

If Phi Mu was holding events and never contacted you about further events, it is very possible that they were not interested in extending you a bid.

You're allowed to do whatever you want. You can go through recruitment and drop out if you want, but be aware that if you do, there's no guarantee that you'd get a bid to one in the spring.

Also if freshmen are prefered, you may already have limited chances anyway.

[33girl]

Originally Posted by booksnblush

I apologize if a question like this has been asked before - I tried to search and couldn't find anything.

For a long time I really wasn't sure I wanted to join a sorority. I didn't rush at all freshman year. Sophomore year, I had been toying with the idea but wasn't really sure. That fall, my roommate was rushing Phi Mu and I decided to go to one of their recruitment parties with her. I had a good time and liked the girls a lot, but I realized that as much as I liked it, I had no idea how I felt about any of the other sororities. At that point, it was too late to rush any of the other sororities, so I decided to put it off until the spring. However, that spring, I had a lot of personal issues going on, and too be honest, spring rush seemed really stressful and kind of scary, so decided to put off recruitment until the fall of my junior year - which I now realize was a big mistake. Anyway, after spring rush had ended, I ran into an acquaintance who happened to be in Phi Mu, and told her I was probably going to rush in the fall. She told me few if any of the sororities were going to be doing fall rush, since most of them had met total during the spring. However, at the time, Phi Mu was doing some kind of informal open recruitment, I'm not really sure what to call it, but basically they were just gathering a bunch of interested girls and having casual get-togethers, and then giving out bids. She told me they had one event left and invited me. Thinking I didn't really want to wait until spring of my junior year to rush, I went, hung out with the sisters, and again had a great time. My friend told me they were thinking about holding a few more events, and said she would contact me, but I never heard from her. I decided to contact her and asked if they had any more events planned. She said they had finished giving out bids for the semester, and that her sisters liked me but there was "a problem with my recruitment history." Since we weren't terribly close, I kind of felt uncomfortable pressing her for more information, and decided I would just rush sometime junior year, whether fall or spring.

Now, I'm going to be a junior in the fall. My understanding is that as long as I don't go through to pref, I will be able to rush two semesters in a row - i.e., I could theoretically rush in the fall and then rush again in the spring. But I'm really uncertain, because I never went to pref the first time around, and I still had problems - I don't know if there was some other reason, if I was perhaps supposed to notify them that I was dropping out of recruitment that fall or something. I doubt that that was the problem - Greek life is not very intense at my school, and for fall recruitment I'm not even sure you have to go to all the parties for that particular sorority in order to get invited to pref; I figured that since I didn't go to their second party, they just thought I wasn't interested and just didn't invite me back. I'm wondering if perhaps they just thought I was being wishy-washy (which was kind of true at the time) and didn't give me a bid because of that, but I'm wondering if this is something I should check out with the Greek Life office on campus?

In any case, now I am absolutely certain that I want to rush. Naturally, I'd like to do it as soon as possible, but from what I've heard, only one or two of my school's seven sororities are going to have fall recruitment. Now, if I was absolutely certain that I wanted to join one of those two, I would go for it, but I really don't know. I have friends in pretty much all the sororities on campus and I feel like I could find my place in any one of them - but definitely some more than others. I feel like I really have to go through recruitment with all of the sororities in order to see which is the best fit, but on the other hand, spring of my junior year feels kind of late, and I know that freshmen are heavily preferred during spring rush.

So essentially, here are the questions I'm asking:
1. Since I don't have much time left, I really need to do things right this time - what could have possibly been wrong with my recruitment history, and is this something I should discuss with the Greek Life office?
2. Would it be considered acceptable or even prudent if I were to rush the two sororities that are holding fall recruitment, see if I like them, and if not, drop out of recruitment before pref and rush again in the spring? I'm concerned that if I do this, I might like one of the sororities but again feel like I need to see all of them, and considering my history I might already come across as a little indecisive...but on the other hand, spring rush is so far away, and then I would only be in whichever sorority I choose for a year and a half.

Hope this makes sense - sorry it's so long! Any advice is greatly appreciated

If a sorority that is open bidding people doesn't invite you back to their events, it's because they're not interested in you. It has zero to do with anything at the Greek life office or how many times you rushed, if you didn't sign a bid card. You most likely have come across as more wishy-washy than Charlie Brown. As a junior, it's going to be hard to override that reputation.

If you are CLOSE friends (not facebook friends, not I had a class with you friends) with women in either of the 2 sororities that rush in fall, let them know you would be interested in pledging, but not if you aren't absolutely 100 per cent sure you want to join. They might stick out their necks for you and if you flip the script, it'll make them look really bad.

[FSUZeta]

i would encourage you to accept any pref. invitations you receive. you can attend pref parties and drop out of recruitment after the parties, if you do not feel a connection to any of the groups whose pref. parties you attend. just tell your rush conselor that you want to drop out of recruitment and do not fill out the preference ranking card(can't remember the official name of it). that will enable you to be eligible to be snap bid or invited to any informal recruitment parties that come up.

[violetpretty]

Ditto to what others have said. There are no "technicalities" at play causing you to be ineligible to receive a bid. In informal recruitment (fall, at your school, plus any parties AFTER formal recruitment in the spring is complete), PNMs can go to as many parties as you want, chapters may offer PNMs bids, etc, and PNMs are not bound by any offers.

PNMs only run into problems if, during formal recruitment (spring at your school), they attend pref, rank, are matched to a chapter they listed on their pref card (also known as an MRAA for Membership Recruitment Acceptance Agreement), decline on bid day (or drop out anytime before initiation) and try to rush again the following semester. Such PNMs would have to wait until formal recruitment the following year to be eligible to join another chapter.

Like others have said, it sounds like Phi Mu was not interested in you becoming a member. My best advice would be to fully consider any and all chapters participating in fall recruitment, as joining these chapters may be your only chance to go Greek. If you wait until spring, your chances don't get better the longer you wait and you may ruin any chances you had in this fall with the participating chapters.

[booksnblush]

Thanks, everyone, for clearing everything up and for the advice