your experience as a pledge

lalalala. · #1 10-05-2009, 08:05 PM

Was it everything you thought it would be?

i ask this because i am now pledging a sorority (im a junior btw) and it wasnt at all what i expected. A lot of people told me before i joined that sorority life is what you make of it. But as of right now, i have yet to have gotten close to anybody, especially the sisters, and we will soon be picking our big sisters. Everyone else, especially the freshmen, seem to be having so much fun already & so close with everyone..i feel a bit left out..i dont know if it will get any better or if i should just leave before it gets any worse and i pay for something that wasnt worth it...
i also want to be more involved but right now i cant with all the studying i have to do.

so how was your experience? did you have trouble in the beginning like me? do you have any suggestions for me?

DrPhil · #2 10-05-2009, 08:10 PM

You get to pick your big sisters. Woohoo. Party hard. Drinks on you.

knight_shadow · #3 10-05-2009, 08:14 PM

MY pledge process was mine. YOURS will not be the same.

You won't be close with everyone immediately. Give it some time.

KSUViolet06 · #4 10-05-2009, 08:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by lalalala.

Was it everything you thought it would be?

i ask this because i am now pledging a sorority (im a junior btw) and it wasnt at all what i expected. A lot of people told me before i joined that sorority life is what you make of it. But as of right now, i have yet to have gotten close to anybody, especially the sisters, and we will soon be picking our big sisters. Everyone else, especially the freshmen, seem to be having so much fun already & so close with everyone..i feel a bit left out..i dont know if it will get any better or if i should just leave before it gets any worse and i pay for something that wasnt worth it...
i also want to be more involved but right now i cant with all the studying i have to do.

so how was your experience? did you have trouble in the beginning like me? do you have any suggestions for me?

Your experience is not abnormal by any means.

It is a common misconception that everyone in a sorority becomes BFFs immediately.

For some, it happens like that.

For others, it takes some time. Any worthwhile relationships take time to build them up.

I don't know how involved you are right now, but I will say that it is impossible to feel at home and get to know girls without making an effort to get to know girls and participate in events.

Also, in terms of meeting and getting to know girls, friendships in a sorority are a two-way street and sometimes, girls think that they are going to magically make friends by waiting on other sisters to ask them to hang out.

Not so.

You have to be pro-active about making friends.

It doesn't have to be some huge thing. Hear a couple girls talking about going to Starbucks? Ask if you can come. Doing lunch on campus, Facebook a couple of girls and ask if they want to come too.

Involvement doesn't have to be huge either. You don't have to be an officer. You'd be surpried how many people you meet just going over to the house or central gathering place and helping with something small like painting Homecoming signs.

This is some of the best advice I can give.

At the end of the day, your experience is what YOU make it. Good luck!

XAntoftheSkyX · #5 10-05-2009, 08:24 PM

The way I look at it, a fraternity/sorority is like a family. Do you like everyone in your family at all times? No. Do you get along with everyone all the time? No. There will be brothers/sisters that you're best friends with and others that you aren't as close with.

Personally, I only knew about 3 guys in my fraternity when I joined. During the colonization we all went to a retreat and did nothing but get to know each other. We left a lot closer and with a lot more respect for one another.

Try hanging out with sisters/other girls in your class outside of meetings/events/etc. Ask people to study with you, go to the dining commons, have a movie night, etc. so you get to know your potential sisters/class better. We are always challenging each other in my fraternity to get to know everyone and to maintain a level of mutual respect.

DGTess · #6 10-07-2009, 05:35 PM

Give it time. And even if you don't make a lot of close friends during your collegiate years, remember you have a lifetime of sisterhood ahead of you.

FSUZeta · #7 10-07-2009, 05:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OTW

I agree. My "close" sisters as a collegian were fleeting. It wasn't until after I graduated that I found the sisters who supported me even when no one else would.

that is so true. i am much closer to sister alums. than i ever was to my chapter sisters. give it a while longer and make an extra effort to get to know as many of your sisters as you can.

you might also speak to your new member v.p. i am sure she will help you once she knows your situation.

libramunoz · #8 10-07-2009, 10:43 PM

You have to remember what you joined the sorority for. What was the purpose behind your desire to join.
For me, I became closer to some of my sisters after we grew up and went our separate ways and reconnected later.
Sometimes people have to grow up, sometimes they do and sometimes they don't. There are times when you may never "directly connect" to some people and it could be just the opposite at times. But the point is that you have to look at why you joined and realize that there is a bigger world out there where you will meet other sisters in your same sorority. Just because you're not directly connecting with those on your campus right now doesn't mean that you eventually won't and it doesn't mean that you can't.

violetpretty · #9 10-07-2009, 10:54 PM

Sure, you need to give it time, but more importantly, you need to give it EFFORT. You have to show up to events. Hang out before/after events. See what your sisters are doing on the weekends. Study together. Do breaksfast/lunch/dinner/ice cream/coffee.

Are you sitting around and sulking, doing the bare minimum, or are you actually trying to spend time with your sisters?

VandalSquirrel · #10 10-08-2009, 02:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by OTW

I agree. My "close" sisters as a collegian were fleeting. It wasn't until after I graduated that I found the sisters who supported me even when no one else would.

Ditto, and some of the sisters I rely on most aren't even from my own chapter (or are from the chapter but a different point in time). I know once I move again in the next two years I'll make connections with new sisters and my circle will grow again.

jesrox15 · #11 10-24-2009, 01:27 PM

I rushed as a freshman,but have a little who rushed as a junior. I had big ups and downs during that year, and was upset about my big sis(was one I didn't pick) but now I am 26 and we are still best friends. You have to open yourself up and participate in the silly stuff like building a homecoming float or doing costumes for a skit, that is how you meet people and make memories. You don't have to go to every social but at least go to one. Ask another pledge class member to study with you or get lunch.

Being in a sorority is a great way to meet people and make friends, but it doesn't mean its a life changing experience for everyone right away. I love that I am a Chi O and will always look back on the good times I had but I wasn't ecstatic all the time. Now I forget the drama and remember the times where I just had fun being carefree. College is more than just classes.

phimusam · #12 10-24-2009, 05:47 PM

I haven't seen it addressed, but as a college junior I was so much more mature than I was as a freshman that, had I pledged then, I would have had to "enjoy" the enthusiasm of my pledge sisters as opposed to expecting to have the same feelings. Once you are active, you will tend to hang more with your older sisters and will probaly be more comfortable.