Question on Rushing in my 30s (Fraternity)

[Kato]

I am hoping that there might be some observations (from your perspectives) on my particular situation:

I will be transferring from a JC to the University of Washington in the fall and am strongly considering rushing a fraternity.

I am 33 years old and married, and am finishing up my bachelor's after several years sidetracked between work and family.

I spent a couple years in Army infantry and I get along fine with an age demographic a level or two below my own. Mostly I just want to get the most out of my college experience, and have a good group of fun loving people (like myself) to associate with while I'm there.

My wife is fine with me going greek if it happens. In her own words it would "short circuit the mid life crisis she knows would happen eventually".

I guess my question is simple: As a 30 something would I be viewed as some kind of freak if I attempted to rush? I've read anecdotes here and there that for fraternities it is not totally unheard of (unlike sororities), but hope that some of you might be able to tell me your thoughts on the subject directly.

Oh and also, an important question is living in a house. Is this mandatory? My particular situation would make that impossible, obviously.

Thank you for any responses.

[PeppyGPhiB]

UW is a pretty traditional greek system, where most (if not all?) greeks live in the house and join right after high school (or rush the summer prior to freshman year). I'm not sure what the rules are with fraternities regarding married collegiates, but that would disqualify you from many sororities...it might be the same for fraternities, but I'm not sure.

[rufio]

i dont think rushing in your 30's is that ridiculous. i would welcome someone regardless of age to rush my chapter. give it a shot.

[Kato]

Originally Posted by PeppyGPhiB

UW is a pretty traditional greek system, where most (if not all?) greeks live in the house and join right after high school (or rush the summer prior to freshman year). I'm not sure what the rules are with fraternities regarding married collegiates, but that would disqualify you from many sororities...it might be the same for fraternities, but I'm not sure.

Yeah from what I have read here and there over the past few days sororities and fraternities sometimes have differing outlooks on older members, especially in more traditional settings.

Originally Posted by rufio

i dont think rushing in your 30's is that ridiculous. i would welcome someone regardless of age to rush my chapter. give it a shot.

That's reassuring, thanks.

[PiKA2001]

I would recommend looking into a professional fraternity over a social one in your case. There is just so many events that you have to attend and participate in while you're pledging( could be up to 4 or 5 a week), which may be difficult in your situation. Also, most social fraternities require you to be a full-time student to join, where some professional orgs accept part-time students. Also, many fraternities don't look to rush anybody over the age of 21. Sorry, I don't mean to sound negative, just trying to give you some advice.

[CrackerBarrel]

Our house has bid some guys in their mid-20's (almost all guys who just got back from Iraq).

I don't think it would automatically disqualify you, but you may have to be that much more impressive. Maybe point out that having been in the service you're looking for another brotherhood like that, we've heard that a few times and brothers seem to react to it well.

[nate2512]

In the late 1970s(?) maybe, our chapter pledged a gentleman 72 years old.

On a much more serious note...and may God bless me, because i'm going to get thread raped. But I think a lot would have to do with whether or not the chapter hazes. Let's be frank, adult like, some chapters do indeed still haze, I don't know about the particular campus or anything. Or which chapters do or don't but it still happen. I care to imply the rest of the point and hope you and everyone else see what I am getting at.

Let the inevitable onslaught begin.

[CrackerBarrel]

Originally Posted by nate2512

In the late 1970s(?) maybe, our chapter pledged a gentleman 72 years old.

On a much more serious note...and may God bless me, because i'm going to get thread raped. But I think a lot would have to do with whether or not the chapter hazes. Let's be frank, adult like, some chapters do indeed still haze, I don't know about the particular campus or anything. Or which chapters do or don't but it still happen. I care to imply the rest of the point and hope you and everyone else see what I am getting at.

Let the inevitable onslaught begin.

Agreed, even if it's just verbal/mental hazing, are you going to be able to put up with getting yelled/cursed/screamed in the face at by a 19 year old kid for not memorizing lengthy passages out of a book or random facts about other 18-22 year old guys? Before you consider those chapters, that's something to think about.

[nate2512]

Not to say all chapters are like that, but some definitely are.

[Kato]

I appreciate the frank responses.

Two things to say about hazing.

One, if I was ever in a position to be verbally/mentally hazed, that would mean a house found someone of my age and background acceptable. That would be a negative within a larger positive.

And two, compared to infantry basic training, bulldog light infantry NCO's, and a year and a half in firefights with Iraqi insurgents from Anbar to Baghdad, I don't think a couple of 19 year olds yelling at me for forgetting someone's middle name would register all that high on the boiling blood pressure scale. =)

Though I would hope that any hazing would be verbal/mental only, because I wouldn't take too kindly to even brothers laying hands on me intending harm. =) And though I may not be 18 any more, I'm a 33 year old light infantry arctic trained ski trooper, Army ju jitsu instructor, decorated combat veteran, and the reflexes might kick in.

(Probably not, but in my warped sense of humor that would be somewhat funny)

Anyhow I will give it a shot. If they like me, right on. If not, nobody was ever killed by a pipedream.

[jon1856]

Originally Posted by nate2512

In the late 1970s(?) maybe, our chapter pledged a gentleman 72 years old.

On a much more serious note...and may God bless me, because I'm going to get thread raped. But I think a lot would have to do with whether or not the chapter hazes. Let's be frank, adult like, some chapters do indeed still haze, I don't know about the particular campus or anything. Or which chapters do or don't but it still happen. I care to imply the rest of the point and hope you and everyone else see what I am getting at.

Let the inevitable onslaught begin.

Originally Posted by CrackerBarrel

Agreed, even if it's just verbal/mental hazing, are you going to be able to put up with getting yelled/cursed/screamed in the face at by a 19 year old kid for not memorizing lengthy passages out of a book or random facts about other 18-22 year old guys? Before you consider those chapters, that's something to think about.

Kind of interesting that you both popped in to this thread with same idea at same time.

What ever.

As for your comment: The OP is a 30+ year old military veteran.
Just what could a 19 year old do to him?
And why?
As we have seen in most of, if not all of the RM threads, he has three choices:
Take in.
Give it back-G*D help those kids if he does!
Get out of Dodge and report them to all TPTB.
Or if he is from Ft Lewis, have some friends pay them a visit
And if from McCord or Whitby Island, Chapter house will be a hole in ground.

And this is the University of Washington, Seattle Washington.
You both maybe out of your region here.

[Kato]

Originally Posted by nate2512

In the late 1970s(?) maybe, our chapter pledged a gentleman 72 years old.

I forget to mention, that story is cool as hell. Really real life beats Hollywood any day. =)

Originally Posted by jon1856

Kind of interesting that you both popped in to this thread with same idea at same time.

What ever.

As for your comment: The OP is a 30+ year old military veteran.
Just what could a 19 year old do to him?
And why?
As we have seen in most of, if not all of the RM threads, he has three choices:
Take in.
Give it back-G*D help those kids if he does!
Get out of Dodge and report them to all TPTB.
Or if he is from Ft Lewis, have some friends pay them a visit
And if from McCord or Whitby Island, Chapter house will be a hole in ground.

And this is the University of Washington, Seattle Washington.
You both maybe out of your region here.

Funny enough, I do have plenty of mates at Lewis. I was with 172d Stryker Brigade up in Alaska (traded in my skis for desert boots and boarded the plane), and more than a few of the old boys rotated into Stryker Bdes here in WA.

I was the smart one. I got out while the getting was good.

[jon1856]

Originally Posted by Kato

I appreciate the frank responses.

Two things to say about hazing.

One, if I was ever in a position to be verbally/mentally hazed, that would mean a house found someone of my age and background acceptable. That would be a negative within a larger positive.

And two, compared to infantry basic training, bulldog light infantry NCO's, and a year and a half in firefights with Iraqi insurgents from Anbar to Baghdad, I don't think a couple of 19 year olds yelling at me for forgetting someone's middle name would register all that high on the boiling blood pressure scale. =)

Though I would hope that any hazing would be verbal/mental only, because I wouldn't take too kindly to even brothers laying hands on me intending harm. =) And though I may not be 18 any more, I'm a 33 year old light infantry arctic trained ski trooper, Army ju jitsu instructor, decorated combat veteran, and the reflexes might kick in.

(Probably not, but in my warped sense of humor that would be somewhat funny)

Anyhow I will give it a shot. If they like me, right on. If not, nobody was ever killed by a pipedream.

Very good answer and thank you for your service.
Have not been near UW in a while, but I have not heard much of hazing being a big issue up there.
There are several others on board who may know a bit more.
Best of luck and let us know what happens.

[jon1856]

Originally Posted by Kato

I forget to mention, that story is cool as hell. Really real life beats Hollywood any day. =)



Funny enough, I do have plenty of mates at Lewis. I was with 172d Stryker Brigade up in Alaska (traded in my skis for desert boots and boarded the plane), and more than a few of the old boys rotated into Stryker Bdes here in WA.

I was the smart one. I got out while the getting was good.

I was down in UPS and ran into a few Rangers along the way.
All good Men.

[Kato]

Originally Posted by jon1856

I was down in UPS and ran into a few Rangers along the way.
All good Men.

Ah, UPS. An oustanding school. Unfortunately on the GI Bill I would need to rob 4, maybe 5 banks per semester.