Wavering on the Edge...
To be honest, my love of TriDelta, namely of my chapter, is really wavering right now. I made the decision to accept a co-op position at a company about 4 hours from school. This meant leaving for 6 months during my junior year. I knew that it would change things, but I never realized that the people who are my sisters would be as cold as they have been. When I've gone back to visit, it's like they don't even want to see me. This past weekend, I drove up for a visit and tried to spend time with my sisters during Greek Games, however, when I got to the field, I could feel everyone staring at me and even heard some of them whispering behind my back about how I didn't belong there. Yes, there are still a few girls excited to see me back for a visit, and these are the sisters I cherish, but it makes me feel like the fact that we've taken the same vows and been through the same rituals means nothing to the majority and that kills me inside. I'm just wondering if the girls we've had recently deactivate from the chapter were feeling this exact same way and that's why they turned in their badges. I joined TriDelta because it felt like home. It gave me a drive and determination that I never knew I could have in myself to be a better person simply because, the moment I put on my letters, I felt like I had the sisters in my chapter with me, no matter how far I was from them or how bad my day went. Now, well, I just want to turn in my badge and walk away. Anyone else gone through something like this? I hate this because, in just a few months, I have to go back to school and start recruitment and I don't feel like I can encourage girls to go Greek and tell them how it is a good experience when my heart simply isn't in it anymore...
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