Best friend and annoying tag-along chick

dzrose93 · #1 08-21-2001, 03:48 PM

Hi GC! I have a problem and need some advice. Forgive me in advance for this is going to be a long post.

One of my best friends (a pledge sister) lives close by and we used to hang out quite a bit. Another of her friends from college just moved to the area last month. I used to be friends with this girl also but after several unpleasant incidents, the last on New Year's Eve, I've completely given up trying. She is loud, obnoxious, boy-crazy and socially inept. A couple of examples: Since I have known her she has invited herself to 2 weddings, not because she was friends with the bride, but because she didn't want to be left out of something that I and my other friend were doing. Another example, last summer, this girl angrily dragged me off the dance floor of a local hotspot, literally out of my guy's arms, because there were - and I quote -"no cute guys paying attention" to her! She then made a huge public scene, yelling at me that she had been in the bathroom for 20 minutes by herself because she didn't have anyone to dance with. (I know for a fact that 2 of my guy friends had asked her to dance out of politeness, so she was definitely not being ignored.)This girl is 26 years old and has never EVER had a boyfriend due to the way she acts around men.

My problem is that my best friend and this girl live only a couple of miles from each other. She doesn't know anyone else in the area, so she is constantly over at my friend's house. They have become quite
close since the girl moved up here, and now are practically attached at the hip. Even my friend's husband has mentioned how tired he is of having this girl around all the time.

My friend keeps inviting me over for girls' nights out, but I have no desire to be in the same room with this other girl. I decided to put my feelings aside a few weeks ago and go out with them. The entire
evening, I was ignored while they talked between themselves. I couldn't get a word in edgewise!

Now, my friend keeps e-mailing me, inviting me to do things and making comments about how I never hang out with her anymore. I've
tried to explain the reason, but it only gets her defensive and angry. Now she's saying that I'm ignoring my friends in order to spend all my time with my new boyfriend instead. Completely untrue! I'm still doing all sorts of activities with my other girlfriends.

I want to keep my friendship with my pledge sister, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. Can anyone offer advice? I'm open to any and all suggestions. THANKS! Again, sorry for the long post!

LeslieEMU · #2 08-21-2001, 04:52 PM

DZrose, I'm sorry you have found yourself in this awful position. I somewhat understand because my one of my lil sis's pledge sister/best friend often acts somewhat the same way...she would whine and complain and throw herself in the arms/lap of all the fraternity guys. It was a pain to go out anywhere with her.

Also, my biological sister has a best guy friend that she invites EVERYWHERE and I used to really dislike him!!! Anytime I invite her to the movies, she invites him...if we go out to a family dinner, she invites him...arrgh! I'm getting along with him much better now, but there comes a point when you'll have to sit your pledge sister down and explain that you don't get along with her friend very well and you'd like to spend some time with just her. Don't make it sound like she's not spending time with you or that you can't stand this girl (even though it's the truth), but just explain nicely and make it clear that you'd like some "alone time."

Hope this helps!

carnation · #3 08-21-2001, 05:08 PM

I believe I'd back off totally from her for awhile. This means she gets to spend lots of fun time with the obnoxious one. It shouldn't be too long until that friendship blows up and you have your buddy back again!

But be absolutely unavailable until this happens!

CutiePie2000 · #4 08-21-2001, 05:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by dzrose93:
Now she's saying that I'm ignoring my friends in order to spend all my time with my new boyfriend instead.

I want to keep my friendship with my pledge sister, but it's becoming increasingly difficult. Can anyone offer advice? I'm open to any and all suggestions. THANKS! Again, sorry for the long post!

Maybe you could invite your friend to do something and explicitly specify that it is one-on-one and that you really miss your one on one time with her or something.

Kevlar281 · #5 08-21-2001, 06:03 PM

Everyone has that one jerk friend, so just get this friend to have some sort of social gathering and make sure that he tells your friend that the annoying girl is not welcome. This leaves you relatively blame free and even if your friend decides not to come, the thought that people don’t like her friend has been made clear.

dzrose93 · #6 08-22-2001, 09:57 AM

Thanks for the advice, y'all. Hopefully this girl will make a swift exit out of my friend's life!