Changing Dating Rituals--Article in USA Today

[James]

MollyUF posted this in the "My Thoughts on Fraternity Guys.." topic. But I thought her post had large enough implications to deserve its own topic. Molly, plase email privately to yell at me, if you are mad because I took this liberty without your prior consent .

The article was kind of like putting words to something you notice but never verbalize.

Obviously read the article . . . and tell us what you think . . .

Hey everyone....
I saw this article in USA Today recently, and was thrilled to pieces that it was still online... It just talks about the social phenomena that is the non-existent dating scene in college. http://www.usatoday.com/news/healths...women-usat.htm

Hopefully that link will work ok, I'm still new to these boards. I agree with some thoughts in the article. After a year of college, I really wish there was something in between the random hookup and an intense relationship. As far as I've seen so far, there is very little middle ground. This topic implies that I won't see much different when I go greek this fall.

Anyways, interesting topic, and I hope you like the article...

Molly

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[This message has been edited by James (edited August 05, 2001).]

[33girl]

Well, a lot of the reason for not going on a stereotypical dinner & movie DATE is mostly financial, especially if you are in a metropolitan area.

I think this article somewhat oversimplified things while simultaneously blowing them out of proportion. I've been reading "courtship is dead" articles for the past 15 years.

[AlphaSigLana]

I think that dating is hard and it can be awkard going out with someone you have talked to for no more than 5 minutes. Most guys I did meet in college were through greek activities. You begin to see these guys all the time so it makes it a lot easier to transition into dating. I dunno, I don't know much about guys needless to say I am single and I don't expect things to change.

[P7A77]

I dated a lot of people, many of them seriously, but never really went on "dates" ... at leats not until we had been "dating" for a while. I just got to know people through classes, or because we had similar interests in activities, or had common friends, or whatever. It's dangerous, though, to limit yourself to a narrow pool, because every group has its own rules and customs and whatnot. Not allowing yourself to be branded allows you to float in and out and really look at the /people/, rather than just be caught up in the ritual.

But all of that aside, I've know very few people who started going from being picked up in a bar (or any other activity that has a short gestation period from first meeting to first date) who have been more than just cheap flings or hollow relationships.

...not that there's necessarily anything wrong with that.

[AlphaChiGirl]

"Joined at the hip" couples annoy the heck out of me. Most of those relationships seem as if they're relationships of convenience. People don't want to be alone, so they find someone else to be with. I don't know how much of it has to do with sex or love, because most of them can't survive long-distances (like, being away for the summer), and most don't seem to survive past graduation (or even a semester abroad). Otherwise, the article was right on target.

[juniorgrrl]

I guess I'm 1/2 of a "joined at the hip" couple. My guy and I have been together since we were 17 (beginning of senior year of HS). Since day 1, we've been very much in love. Our 4th anniversary will be this September Its been an awesome relationship.

But its also very conveinent and comfortable. I'm not the type to hookup with a guy from a bar or anything, so if it weren't for my bf, I don't know where I'd meet anyone.

We do go out on traditional dates, though, just because we got used to it in HS and it was wierd after we got to college to never went out anymore. Blockbuster nights just started to get to be a bore, so we started going out more. Now, we've got a standing Saturday night date.

Most of my friends, if they're not involved with a long-term guy, just don't date at all. The article is right, although very very oversimplified