WHY CAN'T WE ALL JUST GET ALONG??

Bludivinity · #1 03-10-2008, 06:24 AM

I KNOW THAT WE'VE ALL HEARD OF SORORITIES AND FRATERNITIES NOT BEING ABLE TO GET ALONG WITH OTHER ORGS, BUT WAT ABOUT CONFLICT WITHIN YOUR OWN CHAPTER??? A SOROR OF MINE JUST CROSSED AND FROM WHAT SHE TELLS ME HER CHAPTER HATES HER. THEY HARASS HER AND EVEN THREATEN HER. ITS SO DISAPPOINTING TO ME. IF THEY DID NOT WANT HER IN THE CHAPTER WHY IN THE HELL DID THEY INITIATE HER???? I'VE TRIED TO TELL HER TO CONSIDER TRANSFERING CHAPTERS, BUT SHE IS A NEO AND SHE TOLD ME THAT THEY HAVE ALREADY BEGAN DRAGING HER NAME THROUGH THE DIRT AND SHE IS AFRAID OTHER CHAPTERS WONT ACCEPT HER. WE'RE IN TWO DIFFERENT STATES AND I JUST WANT TO HELP HER OUT. ANY ADVICE? AT WHICH POINT DOES CHAPTER CONFLICT BECOME IRRECINCILABLE? HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT CHAPTER TRANSFERS?

I REALLY WANNA HEAR FROM MY N.Y. SORORS, SEEING AS HOW EVERYONE SAYS WE HAVE THE MOST ATTITUDE.

Matsimela · #2 03-10-2008, 06:31 AM

Well Im not one of your Sorors but my advice would be to "gripe" your way up the ladder. If she can't work things out on her own with the sisters in her chapter then perhaps she should try talking to the chapter advisor. I know that everyone doesnt get along all the time but to outright make a sister's life miserable is completely unaacceptable in my eyes. You must also keep in mind that there are three sides to every story. Maybe there is more going on then she is telling...heck she might not even know the real reason behind the dislike.

Elephant Walk · #3 03-10-2008, 09:01 AM

I would suggest not typing in caps.

baci · #4 03-10-2008, 09:08 AM

Can we have some background info as to what is going on and why? It is hard to give advice upon sheer speculation.

OmegaPDPrez · #5 03-10-2008, 10:01 AM

was this something that just started right after her initiation? what was her intake like? maybe there were signs that she really didnt fit in. I dont know her situation but was she forced to go through membership? I personally would not continue in the intake process if i was sincerly unhappy. In return if I knew that a potential sister was not well liked with the rest of the organization i would ask her to re-think her membership and association with the group.

IlovemyAKA · #6 03-10-2008, 03:18 PM

It's you, isn't it? Seriously though, more info would be helpful...

Tom Earp · #7 03-10-2008, 03:46 PM

And this Poster just asked a question?

ladygreek · #8 03-10-2008, 06:18 PM

It seems you are only hearing one side (assuming you aren't the person in question.) Unless you are privy to the other side, I would just stay out of it. Your friend might be the cause of her so-called treatment.

DSTRen13 · #9 03-10-2008, 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bludivinity

I'VE TRIED TO TELL HER TO CONSIDER TRANSFERING CHAPTERS, BUT SHE IS A NEO AND SHE TOLD ME THAT THEY HAVE ALREADY BEGAN DRAGING HER NAME THROUGH THE DIRT AND SHE IS AFRAID OTHER CHAPTERS WONT ACCEPT HER. WE'RE IN TWO DIFFERENT STATES AND I JUST WANT TO HELP HER OUT. ANY ADVICE? AT WHICH POINT DOES CHAPTER CONFLICT BECOME IRRECINCILABLE? HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT CHAPTER TRANSFERS?

I'm not sure I follow what you're suggesting here. If she's collegiate, I certainly don't think she should transfer schools in order to transfer her chapter membership. If she's alumna/grad, then how many chapters are there in her area to choose from that this is an issue?

ladygreek · #10 03-10-2008, 11:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DSTRen13

I'm not sure I follow what you're suggesting here. If she's collegiate, I certainly don't think she should transfer schools in order to transfer her chapter membership. If she's alumna/grad, then how many chapters are there in her area to choose from that this is an issue?

yeah that had me confused, too. Bu then I just chalked it up that they may have different rules that allow a collegiate to join a chapter at a school where she is not matriculating.

rhoyaltempest · #11 03-11-2008, 11:04 AM

Wow. Whatever happened to..."Family business is family business"? My suggestion is to talk to your sorors privately and seek their advice. If you're talking about undergrad chapters, you may want to contact someone in that chapter and ask them straight up (in a sisterly way of course) what the problem is. They will probably tell you about an entire situation that you knew nothing about. You may also want to seek the advice of your alumnae advisor. If you're an alumnae member, you should seek advice from sorors in your chapter. Someone may even know a member of the other chapter who can shed light on the situation.

tld221 · #12 03-11-2008, 01:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rhoyaltempest

Wow. Whatever happened to..."Family business is family business"? My suggestion is to talk to your sorors privately and seek their advice. If you're talking about undergrad chapters, you may want to contact someone in that chapter and ask them straight up (in a sisterly way of course) what the problem is. They will probably tell you about an entire situation that you knew nothing about. You may also want to seek the advice of your alumnae advisor. If you're an alumnae member, you should seek advice from sorors in your chapter. Someone may even know a member of the other chapter who can shed light on the situation.

i'm backing my soror up on this one... keep your family biz family biz.

as a NY greek, however, i believe most of the orgs have more than one alumnae chapter within the NYC area. i'd err on the side of caution in suggesting switching chapters. no one likes a chapter hopper, and it almost always causes more unnecessary drama between the chapters involved. its not like she wont ever interact with these sorors again. my advice would be to try to work it out with her current chapter. and come on, what kinda sense does that make, a neo transferring right after they were inducted? if i was that chapter i would be insulted that my neo would want to jump ship already.

this is, granted, if the next chapter would even want her as a transfer soror. if there is drama already surrounding this member, why would they want to bring her into the fold with such ease? and who is to say that when the going gets tough the next time around, she's not hopping to the next chapter, or if her drama DOES get worked out, she transfers back to her original chapter?

my best friends in the organization are in different chapters. sometimes you need the separation anyway - you dont have to be in the same chapter and sometimes it comes down to personal fit.

ladygreek · #13 03-11-2008, 04:42 PM

wow, in SGRho a chapter can decided whether to accept a member from another chapter?

rhoyaltempest · #14 03-11-2008, 05:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ladygreek

wow, in SGRho a chapter can decided whether to accept a member from another chapter?

No. I think my soror is referring to the fact that switching chapters because of personality/social conflicts is frowned upon since many sorors have the "stay and work it out" attitude (although I could care less about why a soror wants to switch chapters). So in that respect, the new chapter might be hesitant because we do try to maintain good relationships with neighboring chapters (especially the grad chapters) and no one wants the drama to transfer from one chapter to another or to cause drama between the two chapters. But ultimately, we cannot turn a soror away who wants to transfer to our chapter and some chapters don't even see chapter hopping as an issue, no matter the reason.

ladygreek · #15 03-11-2008, 05:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rhoyaltempest

No. I think my soror is referring to the fact that switching chapters because of personality/social conflicts is frowned upon since many sorors have the "stay and work it out" attitude (although I could care less about why a soror wants to switch chapters). So in that respect, the new chapter might be hesitant because we do try to maintain good relationships with neighboring chapters (especially the grad chapters) and no one wants the drama to transfer from one chapter to another or to cause drama between the two chapters. But ultimately, we cannot turn a soror away who wants to transfer to our chapter and some chapters don't even see chapter hopping as an issue, no matter the reason.

Oh, okay