To Gammazetagrl

[newbie]

Hey gammazetagrl!

Just thought I would continue the convo here instead of the Summertime Blahs thread . Thanks so much for the compliment--you are so sweet! It's kinda funny how life works, isn't? When I broke up with my ex (the cheating one) last year I thought that I would despise him as long as I lived! But then, slowly the anger dissipated, and then I realized that he had taught me some things, made me happy, etc. so I guess I will always have a warm place in my heart for him . He also has a SO right now, and sometimes it's hard for me to see them together, just b/c I was w/him for a year (well, on and off ). And it's uncanny how many times we'll see each other at places, sometimes!

Anyway, have you decided whether you're gonna return/keep the stuff? What I did is that I returned some stuff to him, but I also kept some really important things for myself. I put them in a big box, and pushed the box to the end of the closet, so I could see the items when I was ready. And it really helps, sometimes, to take things out and look at them again! Sometimes I just take things out, look at them, and smile .

Wow, you work at Blockbuster! Sounds fun!! What's the 5-free-rentals thing all about? Thanks gammazetagrl!! I love talking to ya!

Originally posted by gammazetagrl:
newbie, you are so wise. you are such an asset to greekchat, sweetie!!!
yes, i agree that whenever i see him, no matter what, i will always feel something for him (and for all the exes that will soon follow in the future)--just because you are right, he DOES and will always have a special place in my heart, where all memories are stored...and so life then goes on.

but yeah, summertime blahs do suck. i am actually thankful i work at blockbuster and i put the 5 a week free rentals to good use (i just finished watching Anywhere But Here and Outside Providence)....

[This message has been edited by newbie (edited June 12, 2001).]

[gammazetagrl]

dear newbie

hi!!! about his stuff, i asked him about it but he didn't want them back, and actually said he didn't want me to take back my own stuff either! so i did the box thing that u did too. I put away all the stuff he gave me as well, put it in a shoebox and tried to put it in a corner of my room, where i could still see it. since it was in the early stages of our breakup i would still then open the box and seeing the contents would make me cry. so i decided to hide it too (i contemplated throwing it out/burning them but i thought that would be too extreme)so i put it in the basement and i opened it when i am ready and wouldn't cry anymore. Nowadays I look in it and smile now because the happy memories surface and not the fact that he decided to end it *sigh*

Yes, I admit I still give a d*** about him and stuff he does, and I try not to as much as possible. Like the other day these teenyboppers came to our work and started flirting w/ him! (of course our co workers laughed when they saw the jealous/baffled expression on my face).Im getting used to the fact that we're simply friends now and so far so good. the real challenge will come when we both return to our schools and in a way i would feel sad again coz it will seem as if im losing him all over again (although to a lesser extent). it reminds me of this old song "everytime u go away, u take a piece of me with you"...ahhh so true!!!! and of course, he will always be in my heart

anyway at blockbuster employees get five free rentals a week. hard is it to believe there's so many movies i wanna watch that it's still not enough lol...

Hey newbie, if ya wanna email me anytime it's princess_chunli@hotmail.com..and on AIM my sn is Ms Liz Parker.

Thanks so much for your advice and great help!!!I enjoy talking to you too!!!

Fraternally,
Cami

[Sue_XO]

You always know the right thing to say!

[newbie]

Thanks Sue , oh yeah, I will email you back today!! (I'm so behind in emails, it's scary!!)

[gammazetagrl]

Hi girls!!! Wow Sue, I hope I get myself an understanding guy like your husband someday! =)

yeah I guess it's just up to time for me to recover completely and be able to move on...I don't think I'll get a boyfriend right away next fall semester--but maybe in the spring. *sigh* i want him (my ex)to be my date for my formal though, but if he says no I'll understand...but anyway i just wanna repeat how u guys are so WISE. Hehehe must come from being Greek, right?

U guys probably noticed how I started that scar thing forum for my physical scars...hmm if only they have something for emotional scars as well ? If only they did, life would be so much easier.

Im watching Save The Last Dance right now. I never saw it and it officially doesnt come out to the public until next tuesday on video/dvd but since I work at blockbuster, we get to see it first just coz if a customer asks about it at least i have an opinion about it. And its GREAT! i love ballet!

[Sue_XO]

I know how hard it is for you two - I wish so much the pain would go away but it has been close to 10 years and I STILL think about that one special person. I think it is good to keep a memory box- I threw out a lot of pictures but there are some I just have to keep. My husband is so sweet and understands. I let him keep a high school prom picture of him and this girl that looked like the chick from Flash Dance (her nick-name was Flash in h.s.- how "neat")
So- I hope you both find someone really special who deserves you! In fact... I know you will!

[newbie]

Hey Gammazetagrl!! I will email you!!

Hey Sue!! Actually, I already have a bf--whom I love really dearly (he's so wonderful!), but I was just talking about my ex hehehe!! Thanks so much for your conceern, though, Sue!!

Aww isn't your husband sweet? Sue, my philosophy (hehe) is that each person you date for a substantial amount of time will ALWAYS be a part of you (gammazetagrl's saying is sooo true, about when the bf leaves, he takes a piece of you away!)...no matter what...and I've realized that even though my ex and I broke up on VERY bad terms, he had a great influence on my life for a year...I will always remember the happy times and how he changed me, too .

P.S. "Flash"--I agree, Sue, how "neat" LOL !

[newbie]

Hey gammazetagrl! Sorry i haven't emailed you yet..i'm so behind in emails! also, my net connection is driving me crazy...i keep on getting logged off! so, look for an email soon, i just don't know how soon, i'm sorry!!

[gammazetagrl]

dont worry about it newbie! lol we can keep talking here if ya want... I enjoy our lil Greek community of GC, makes me so fuzzy and warm... ;D

okay, i dunno if this sounds dumb or whatever but i was talking to him (my ex)on our ride on way to work. he said he has a "secret admirer"...i was like, huh? and it turns out that he got an email from one of those "secret crush sites" that they advertise in the backs of teen magazines (like ecrush or something). i didnt know how they worked, but he said he thinks its like, a girl sends the site an email about her crush and she gives them the email addy of the guy and the site sends the letter...or something like that. he doesnt know who the sender was though. of course, it wasn't from ME, but yeah i felt the pangs of jealousy, even though i didn't want to...i guess it's good that he still trusts me and thinks of me as a good of a friend enough to tell me these things, and i feel really guilty for thinking, "DAMMIT don't tell me these things!"...uuugggh i dont wanna feel this way but i guess it DOES take time. I didn't know I still had such feelings for him (coz all along I thought I was okay about breaking up right?)until he brought this up. I just put up a front of teasing him about it like a friend would do but inside i was like a mixture of "grrr" and *sigh*....oh well...what do u think? =)

PS
you think of the greatest topics!!! i love asnwering to your posts.

[newbie]

ahh, i'm really sorry, gammazetagrl...but i'm actually on my way out now for dinner....

i will hopefully be able to write you a nice long email in the next few days!!!! so sorry for the delay

and also--keep your head up sweetheart!!! i know what it feels like...and BTW, that crush thing sometimes is full of B.S.!!! (Solmetimes there was even no crush involved, just advertisting hoax! Do a search on GC, there was a thread about this Crush thingey in the Chit Chat forum!!!)

So sorry that I don't have time to write you back!!!! But, KEEP YOUR HEAD UP...you Are SOOO AWESOME....and i know that you WILL heal soon, very soon!!!

[gammazetagrl]

hey newbie what's up???

nothing much going on here. just been busy w/ work n stuff. man, work is really tiring....anyway i need advice (again,lol) that's why i brought this back up. u know that blind date dude? well i finally went out w/ him on last week and sure, i had a great time and he was a nice guy and all, but he was just toooo nice. meaning he won't even disagree w/ me, its like he doesnt have his own opinions. sometimes he uses the same adjectives i have, like for example "the movie was alright" and he would say " yeah it was alright for me too"...i dunno, maybe im doing the comparing-to-the-ex thing coz im used to having friendly debates or at least lively discussions w/ my ex. i mean, its like, even if u agree w/ my opinion on the movie, at lesat say something else about it, ya know? my friends told him that i should at least give him a chance though and so we're going out again sometime this week, and i swear, if things don't change...then ill like move on. was i being unfair though?

by the way, have u talked to your boyfriend lately?

And then...my ex is on vacation right now in MN for two weeks. He goes visit this family which is friends with his family every summer. He drove there alone, and the thing is, the daughter of that family, has had a crush on him couple years ago and although back then my ex didn't like her that way, they remained like friends, and u know, a la Dawson's Creek, there's this kind of sexual tension/attraction whatever eveyrtime u guys see each other? So its safe to say that's the case. On my boyfriend's last night at work before leaving, he told me how excited he was to go on vacation , and also about seeing Tina. He even added "you have no idea how awesome that is". Yeah a**hole i think i do. uggghhh!!! im trying not to let it bother me at all as Im trying to move on but that lil comment of his pissed me off and got me really down. I guess u can say im still jealous...even though it's highly unlikely that my ex would come home w/ a long distance romance under his belt (he's gonna be gone for 2 wks anyway), what if something happens between him and her while he was over there? my friends just say i was being crazy...

Then i was so mad that I called nick (thenew guy) the very next day and that's how i made plans w/ him. now i know i am being unfair to nick too, but what's a girl to do?

Sorry this got too long....whatever advice u can give me, ill greatly appreciate it! xoxo

[newbie]

Originally posted by gammazetagrl:
hey newbie what's up???

nothing much going on here. just been busy w/ work n stuff. man, work is really tiring....anyway i need advice (again,lol) that's why i brought this back up. u know that blind date dude? well i finally went out w/ him on last week and sure, i had a great time and he was a nice guy and all, but he was just toooo nice. meaning he won't even disagree w/ me, its like he doesnt have his own opinions. sometimes he uses the same adjectives i have, like for example "the movie was alright" and he would say " yeah it was alright for me too"...i dunno, maybe im doing the comparing-to-the-ex thing coz im used to having friendly debates or at least lively discussions w/ my ex. i mean, its like, even if u agree w/ my opinion on the movie, at lesat say something else about it, ya know? my friends told him that i should at least give him a chance though and so we're going out again sometime this week, and i swear, if things don't change...then ill like move on. was i being unfair though?

by the way, have u talked to your boyfriend lately?

And then...my ex is on vacation right now in MN for two weeks. He goes visit this family which is friends with his family every summer. He drove there alone, and the thing is, the daughter of that family, has had a crush on him couple years ago and although back then my ex didn't like her that way, they remained like friends, and u know, a la Dawson's Creek, there's this kind of sexual tension/attraction whatever eveyrtime u guys see each other? So its safe to say that's the case. On my boyfriend's last night at work before leaving, he told me how excited he was to go on vacation , and also about seeing Tina. He even added "you have no idea how awesome that is". Yeah a**hole i think i do. uggghhh!!! im trying not to let it bother me at all as Im trying to move on but that lil comment of his pissed me off and got me really down. I guess u can say im still jealous...even though it's highly unlikely that my ex would come home w/ a long distance romance under his belt (he's gonna be gone for 2 wks anyway), what if something happens between him and her while he was over there? my friends just say i was being crazy...

Then i was so mad that I called nick (thenew guy) the very next day and that's how i made plans w/ him. now i know i am being unfair to nick too, but what's a girl to do?

Sorry this got too long....whatever advice u can give me, ill greatly appreciate it! xoxo

Hi Cami ! I'm sorry that I haven't replied to your email yet! *very embarrassed* You know sweetie, it's really VERY normal to feel this way, abot your blinddate and jealousy about your ex. But you know what, make sure you aren't totally trying to weed out your date's wrongs and ask yourself "am i being rational here? am i just thinking this b/c my ex wouldn't have done this? is this habit of my date's annoying for real or am i just afraid of dating someone who is not my ex?" however, cami, your statement about your date nick being annoying is true IMO - it is VERY annoying for me when a guy doesn't want to offend me and just agrees with whatever i say, and also says "yeah you are so right, i totally agree." i mean, that's fine if a person does, but i once went on a date with a guy who agreed with everything i said. now that gets annoying!!!!! but also cami, take into account that you just might be unintentaionlly trying to find the faults in nick, b/c maybe you're afraid to love someone again?? but from what you have said, it sounds like nick isn't what you're looking for - and i don't blame ya girl!!!

hmm about your ex...sweetie for now, just try to remember that you and your ex are in a very fragile stage right now - where both of you are probably playing a seesaw game of trying to make the other feel bad? am i right? i don't know, after i have gotten out of relationships in the past, each time i unknowingly play the seesaw game!! haha, i made that name up - see saw . but it totally feels like that! ya know what, it seems like mostly your ex is trying to make you feel jealous tho. if he ever says anything like that again, i think you should point it out and lightly, playfully ask, "so.......you're trying to make me jealous eh?" see what he says to that. i don't know if that's the best thing to say, but it prolly will open up honest communication between you two, which i think you guys need . ehhh - hopefully he will not do anything iwth tina - but keep in mind, that he might just come back and try to make you feel jealous again - he might even lie or white-lie about a "conquest" he had with her which might not have ever taken place - trust me, I know what i'm talking about here (from experience)

But what's most important is when he comes back be all casual and act normal. don't bring up tina unless he brings it up. show him that you don't care (even if you do). once you show him that his actions don't bother you anymore, he just might open up honest communication again. he also might stop being a dickhead bringing up comments like that!!!! and if he talks about tina and maybe a "conquest," be all casual and say "oh?" and then pretend you don't care. That's guaranteed to drive him nuts . hey, i think you need to give him a pice of revenge, which will make YOU feel better, and eventaully, your feelings for him and jealousy will subside!!!! hopefully this makes some sense , tell me if it does??? I'm always hear for ya girlie, and i'll reply to your original email soon too!!!!!

p.s. about my boyfriend.. oh he's still in baseball camp - he's coming home one day befre his birthday, July 21! I'm so excited, though it's still a long time away . We talk on the phone a lot though but I miss him...I've never been away from him for so long!

[newbie]

Cami, I just finished posting my fave quotes in the Quotes thread, but I thought some of them might be very useful for your situation

(BTW, not all of them have to do with relationships, but I thought it would be fun to share, hehee...the later quotes have more to do with your situation...)

Use the talents you possess -- for the woods would be a very silent place if no birds sang except for the best.
- Unknown

You can complain because roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.
- Ziggy

A friend is one who walks in when the rest walk out.
- Walter Winchell

Don't cry over anyone who won't cry over you.
-Unknown

Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.
-Unknown

Yesterdays are over my shoulder, so I can't look back for too long...there's so much waiting in front of me, and I know I just can't go wrong.
-Unknown

We'll meet again...not quite sure how, and I don't know just when. You're in my heart, so until then, it's time for saying goodbye.
-Unknown

Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.
-Unknown

How lucky am I to have known somebody who was so hard to say goodbye to.
-Unknown

Speak your mind, even if your voice shakes.
-Unknown

Growing up is not easy. We have to say good bye to some things in order to move on to others. Change is difficult. You fight to hold on but at the same time you fight to let go.
-Unknown



[This message has been edited by newbie (edited July 16, 2001).]

[gammazetagrl]

I luv the quotes newbie! I am actually printing this out so that anytime I need some words of wisdom, or just sadness, then I can read this convo of us and SMILE. Thanks a lot~~~

------------------
"You've made me stronger
By breaking my heart
You've ended my life
And made a better one start
You've taught me everything
From falling in love
To letting go of a lie
Yes you've made me stronger
Baby, by saying goodbye"
--Regine Velasquez