If this was you, what would you do?

[PADFSUGirl2K2]

Hey everyone,

Well, I am stuck with a dilemma.

I was dating a male who shall remain anonymous. He decided to break up with me because for one, he is going through some stuff and same here. Anyway, he wanted to break it off for right now which doesn't sit right with me for some reason. Now, he wants to be friends and I guess he is leaving the door open for us to get back together. Now, here is my question. Should I wait or just move on? He has been there for me through some down points in my life and I have too and I really have feelings for him still and I think it is likewise with him. Oh yeah, I have been getting this weird feeling lately like something major is going to happen and it is scaring me literally.

[texas*princess]

Move on.

If he broke up with you, he broke up with you.

That means he doesn't want to be with you.

Do NOT read into the whole "let's still be friends" thing. That does NOT neccessarily mean he is 'leaving the door wide open for you two to get back together. Period.

Unless he tells you something point blank (e.g. "I want to get back together") do NOT ASSUME it. It will only lead to hurt feelings on your side.

ETA:
I think it's great he has been there for you during some down points in your life, which really confused the whole situation for me. If he is 'going through some stuff' and you are 'going through some stuff' I guess I don't understand why he wouldn't want to stay with you so you two can help each other out during tough times. I obviously don't know the whole story, but I get the vibe he is using his 'stuff' as a cop-out excuse to break up with you.

[PADFSUGirl2K2]

It's funny that my friends say the same thing about the cop-out thing.

[texas*princess]

Originally Posted by PADFSUGirl2K2

It's funny that my friends say the same thing about the cop-out thing.

If your close friends are getting the same vibe I think then that it would be best to move on.


If at some other point in time he is interested in getting back together, you may be available, you may not... and maybe then it might be a good time to start just 'being friends'.

IMHO it is best to not be best pals right away b/c usually the person who got broken up with still has strong feelings and romanticies (sp?) every word/action the other person makes and believes they are on the path of getting back together, when in actuality they aren't. It totally happened to me and I was hurt/angry/sad and that's when I learned to just keep steppin'.

Read this thread , because it is very helpful

One last word: When you do move on, and maybe a month or two you have a new guy, if this ex boyfriend comes back into the picture, do not drop New Guy for him. In my experience, this always ends badly. I swear ex boyfriends have a radar and can tell when you are happy again, and they swoop in and screw everything up!

[RU OX Alum]

yeah you should date someone else

and decide which kind of doughnut you like

[DSTCHAOS]

Close the door and move on.

Doors aren't meant to be ajar. They are either open or closed. Just that simple.

Don't feel obligated to be his friend, either. You don't have to hate him but never settle for consolation prizes, especially if you're hoping and praying for more. Not everyone is meant to be in your life forever.

Don't take this to mean that you have to move on with another man. Give yourself time to heal or whatever. For now, move on with your life and yourself. And also don't feel obligated to go back through that door after you've closed it--if the guy comes back and you're no longer interested, that's that.

[ThetaDancer]

Originally Posted by DSTCHAOS

Close the door and move on.

Doors aren't meant to be ajar. They are either open or closed. Just that simple.

Don't feel obligated to be his friend, either. You don't have to hate him but never settle for consolation prizes, especially if you're hoping and praying for more. Not everyone is meant to be in your life forever.

Don't take this to mean that you have to move on with another man. Give yourself time to heal or whatever. For now, move on with your life and yourself. And also don't feel obligated to go back through that door after you've closed it--if the guy comes back and you're no longer interested, that's that.

Truly words of wisdom.

[KSUViolet06]

Move on. It's very wrong of him to string you along. That's exactly what he's doing.

[Coramoor]

If you love someone, set them free. If they come back, it was meant to be.

I didn't mean that to rhyme, and I'm sure it's not original...but it get's the point across.

[PeppyGPhiB]

He's playing you...hoping you'll agree to hang out just long enough for him to get a little somethin'. Men don't do the "Now's not a good time for me, I'm going through some personal issues, maybe later," blah blah blah stuff that women like to use as excuses. If a man really likes a woman, he will pursue her, no matter what he's going through at the time. Move on - you can do better, and I bet you'll feel great about it!

[33girl]

Tell him to leave you alone and when you get a new boyfriend and he gets a new girlfriend, then you can be "friends" if it's so important to him.

[AKA_Monet]

I don't play that friends crap. EFF that. If I did not marry him, we are acquaintances that used to have fun together a long time ago. Leave the past in the past and Keep It Moving...

[Munchkin03]

He's trying to keep you on ice, is what it is. Basically, he doesn't want to date you, but if it's a bit of time until he finds the next girl, he wants to be able to have you whenever he wants. Don't do it.

[Educatingblue]

You need to keep it moving and do not give that creep another second of your time! When you meet "the one" you will BOTH know it.

No disrespect, but if you continue to allow yourself to be "available" it will just make you look desperate.

[laylo]

I love when smart women know the game.