DIVINE NINE'S 2008 RESOLUTIONS

[Professor]

rec'd this today - please don't take it seriously - - - i don't but could not help but laugh even at the great organization of alpha.
DIVINE NINE'S 2008 RESOLUTIONS



1. In 2008, Iota Phi Theta Will Be Relevant!

2. For 2008 in its entirety, Omega Psi Phi will have more Graduates than Suspended Chapters!

3. Phi Beta Sigma Fraternity Inc. will cut back HATING at least 85%!

4. Starting on Jan. 1st members of Kappa Alpha Psi will NOT be allow to have their Canes in the following: Funerals, Church, or Public Restrooms!

5. Alpha Phi Alpha MUST choose a MASCOT! A Sphinx, A Gorrilla, A Snake, or Martin Luther King.

6. All Zeta's will get mandatory perms!

7. All AKA's will be required to spend at least 200 hrs. OFF of their High Horse!

8. Members of Delta Sigma Theta will be required to MEET ALL their Line Sisters!

9. All SGRho's Will be required to HANG OUT with the rest of society at LEAST (2) Nights a Week!

10. Sigma Doves WILL BE CUT!

11. Kappa Diamonds WILL BE CUT!

12. RHOmeos WILL BE CUT!

13. Iota Sweethearts WILL BE CUT!

14. Omega Psi Phi will require at least 35% of it's party participants to wear clothes.

15. Kappas will learn The Man Laws and stop violating them. (Pretty boys, mirrors, and eyeliner) And they can't substitute the letter C with the letter K...(i have seen an event that said "..... Khapter of Kappa Alpha Psi)

16. AKA's will NOT confuse Probate Practice with INTAKE Process.

17. Delta Sigma Theta will refrain from the throwing hooks, sticking tongues out or doing any activity where they try to mimic/ copy/ dress like or BE like the men of Omega Psi Phi.

18. Sigma Gamma Rho will hold their position... let the haters hate. But y'all need to get Big Draws and hem her arse up in a corner.

19. Everybody will stop being surprised when you hear about a..."SWEET NUPE"

20. Each Iota & SGRho would have to introduce themselves to 2 new people everyday

21. Zetas will stop wearing blue eye shadow

22. AKAs will learn that just cuz you wear 20 pearls...it doesn't make you a pretty girl