I'm an emotional wreck

[Animate]

Okay I'm going to do my best to explain the situation.

My "girlfriend" of 2.5 years and I have been on a break since mid October. Her reasoning behind it was that she was extremely busy with school, trying to graduate, and some problems in the relationship were causing her to not perform well. We would talk on occassion but nothing near what we usually would do. I had seen her once from mid September until the 1st week in December. The time I did see her I had to somewhat "force" her to okay us going out. She had previously explained that she wanted to work on the relationship but I told her that that wasn't really possible because despite all of what was going on she was not trying the slightest bit. I expleined to her that I couldn't work on the issues going on on my end if she always told me that she was busy. I went on to explain to her how it hurt me that whenever she would say she was gonna spend her time studying she would end up not doing it and didn't make any attempts to work out the kinks. I said she was overly focused to some extent. So we went out and she did say that it meant a lot to her for me to come and see her (2 hr drive 1 way to spend about 3 hours together). I also explained how things had gotten to the point to where I never expected her to return phone calls when she said she would.

Time passes and we begin to talk a little bit more, especially when finals start rolling around and I'm my usualy supportive self trying to keep my mind clear throught this rollercoaster of emotion. She passes her finals and I'm overjoyed because she has completed a milestone in her life and because I feel like a sense of normality will be returning to my life. I talk to her that night to see if she wants to go out or something and she declines, which initially upset me, but says we can do something the next day. The next day comes and we end up double dating with my cousin and his lady. While waiting for the others to arrive we are sitting in the car talking and she can tell that I'm a bit distant. She tells me that I don't have to be so distant because "I have her now". Well we seated at the restaurant and while waiting we end up holding hands and she tells me "I missed holding hands". The night continues and the general consensus is that things are progressing in the right direction. We talk a few days later and she tells me that the break thing really had nothing to do with me and that she has noticed a pattern of her finding things wrong in relationships and she believes that this is what was occurring.

Last week she graduated and we had talked before about how she wanted me to be there so I went. There was no 2nd thoughts on that from my end. Now the turmoil is coming from her saying that there are a bunch of questions in her head and she isn't sure of some things in her life and she is trying to basically do what is best for her. While I'm all for her doing that, it is tearing me up with the level of uncertainty and in my eyes inconsistency going on. I went back on my personal word and reminded her of my mom's family's Christmas dinner coming up and she said that she is still going. I did tell her that I think we need to talk about things some more first.

She does say that she wants me in her life but she is really wanting to clear some of her personal issues up. Part of me feels like a fool for sticking through this and part of me feels like she is worth going through this for.

Sorry for the wall of text, I just really felt the need to get this off my chest.