How much is too much?

cheerfulgreek · #1 12-17-2007, 01:28 AM

I forgot to post this. I just wanna see what everyone else thinks about this. I thought it was funny. lol

When I get together with my study group, sometimes we get away from what we're supposed to be doing, like talking about other topics.

Well, anyway, this guy in my group was complaining about his date he had last night. Apparently he said she ordered too much. I asked him what she ordered and he said she ordered an expensive glass of wine with her food. Of course at this point I was trying hard not to laugh, because he was so serious about it. I didn't see the big deal, but he said she could have at least been a little more conservative in her ordering on the 1st date.

My thoughts on the whole thing was I didn't see what the big deal was. I always at least offer to help pay, but I still think the guy should pay for the 1st date regardless. When you go out with a guy on the 1st date, do you order whatever you want or do you think you should order light since it is the 1st date?

And for the guys, does it really matter to you?

cuteASAbug · #2 12-17-2007, 01:35 AM

Considering I've seen wine that costs around $50/glass in some restaurants, I definitely think that you should play it safe on a first date, unless the guy orders a ridiculously expensive glass/bottle also. In which case, all bets are off.

33girl · #3 12-17-2007, 01:38 AM

I don't order the cheapest thing (unless it happens that's what I really want), but I don't order the most expensive thing, either.

As for him bitching about the wine, that's just silly...if he wanted to buy her Budwesiser he should have taken her to a bowling alley or something. I'm not much of a wine drinker, so I really can't speak to that issue.

cuteASAbug · #4 12-17-2007, 01:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

I don't order the cheapest thing (unless it happens that's what I really want), but I don't order the most expensive thing, either.

I do that too. Of course since I haven't actually been on a date in forever, this is all just a moo point.

cheerfulgreek · #5 12-17-2007, 01:48 AM

I didn't ask where he took her, but based on what he told me the cost was, I'm sure it was an expensive place to dine. For me, it doesn't matter where the guy takes me, just as long as we're having fun. I don't drink wine, but I would order what I was hungry for, and I would offer to help pay, but if he insisted on paying, then what's there to complain about? I totally think he brought it on himself.

James · #6 12-17-2007, 01:50 AM

It might depend on what happened later. Maybe its not going anywhere, maybe he thought her attitude was bad. Maybe he expected more physical contact on the first date . . especially if it was a $50 glass of wine.

cheerfulgreek · #7 12-17-2007, 01:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by James

It might depend on what happened later. Maybe its not going anywhere, maybe he thought her attitude was bad. Maybe he expected more physical contact on the first date . . especially if it was a $50 glass of wine.

lol, no I don't think it was a $50.00 glass of wine. He just said it was expensive. I should have gotten more details.

He said he still likes her but now he thinks she's high maintenance.

This is what I hate about guys. They spend money on a date and then they expect to get in her pants later, and if they don't, then they call her high maintenance.

nittanyalum · #8 12-17-2007, 02:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cuteASAbug

...this is all just a moo point.

LOL - Joey, right?

"It's just like a cow's opinion, it doesn't matter. It's moo."

cuteASAbug · #9 12-17-2007, 02:10 AM

Exactly!

PrettyBoy · #10 12-17-2007, 02:20 AM

He should have taken her to Micky D's, bought her a happy meal, and called it day. He's happy and her stomach is full.

#11 12-17-2007, 05:03 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 33girl

As for him bitching about the wine, that's just silly...if he wanted to buy her Budwesiser he should have taken her to a bowling alley or something. I'm not much of a wine drinker, so I really can't speak to that issue.

Agreed.

He had to have known what kind of price range he was looking at before he took her there.

When I was dating, I always made sure I had enough cash on me to at least cover myself in the event of an emergency. Of course the guy always paid, but my thing was "if I can't afford it, I won't order it."

A few years ago, a sister of mine got asked out by some dude she was crushing on from class. They went to Sunday brunch at a pretty upscale restaurant in a hotel. When the bill came, she slowly prepared to get cash out to pay for her share (allowing him time to whip out his credit card). Well, he offered to pay of course.

A few minutes later, their server came back and his card was DECLINED. My sister ended up taking care of the bill. Dude was so embarassed that he stopped showing up to class for the rest of the semester (it was early December)...which was okay, because she never bothered to call him again.

SthrnZeta · #12 12-17-2007, 10:32 AM

I agree, you know what price range you're looking at when you decide on the place. TGI Fridays vs Bonefish - c'mon guys, you know there's a big difference in the prices. And I won't be getting a couple of tasty (and expensive) martinis at Fridays, but I WILL get them at Bonefish

I'm lucky now though, my boyfriend loves to spoil me and I got to go to Geisha House in ATL when I finished the real estate course

AlphaFrog · #13 12-17-2007, 10:41 AM

Miss Manners says that guests (which you are when the guy is paying) should always order from the middle (price range) of the menu. I agree, though, if you just feel like a sandwich or salad or whatever, order it, even if it is the cheapest thing on the menu. As far as alcohol, I *think* the proper etiquette (by the book) is to follow the host's lead - if they order alcohol, you can, but if they don't, you shouldn't. However, if it's someone you're thinking about seriously dating, and you are going to expect that you should be able to order alcohol on their dime every time you go out, I guess go ahead and order it, so the person knows what they're getting themselves into. Just be prepared to pay for it yourself if need be, such as the anecdote above.

fantASTic · #14 12-17-2007, 01:03 PM

Eh. I'm a fan of the "If he does it, I'll do it" game plan. If there's an entree I really want or an expensive drink, I wait and see what he orders. If he orders something above or around the same price range, then I'll order what I really want. If not, then I use my "backup" entree or drink that's cheaper.

It works, as long as I can get him to order first

I usually use the "I'm not quite ready, but I think HE is" line for that one.

skylark · #15 12-17-2007, 03:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fantASTic

Eh. I'm a fan of the "If he does it, I'll do it" game plan. If there's an entree I really want or an expensive drink, I wait and see what he orders. If he orders something above or around the same price range, then I'll order what I really want. If not, then I use my "backup" entree or drink that's cheaper.

It works, as long as I can get him to order first

I usually use the "I'm not quite ready, but I think HE is" line for that one.

When I was in the dating game, this was always my strategy, as well. I would usually try to ask my date something like "oh it all looks so good, what are you thinking of having?" before the waitor/waitress comes back. That way, I'll have an idea of what entree range he is looking at before I make a decision and I don't have to panic by trying to remember what was entree I liked in each price range in the moment (I tended to panic easy on first dates).

I don't like the miss manners "pick from the middle" system because on many a first date, I picked a middle entree that looked okay, only to have my date pick the more expensive chef's special that I was really salivating over.