When should a couples parents meet?

Animate · #1 10-22-2007, 02:19 AM

To be a bit clearer, when should my parents meet my girlfriend's parents? I've been thinking of this for sometime now and even more since I plan on asking this incredible young lady to become my wife in the next few months or so.

PrettyBoy · #2 10-22-2007, 02:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Animate

To be a bit clearer, when should my parents meet my girlfriend's parents? I've been thinking of this for sometime now and even more since I plan on asking this incredible young lady to become my wife in the next few months or so.

Wow! Wife? It sounds like you need to introduce them like....now.
That's great man!

DaemonSeid · #3 10-22-2007, 08:24 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Animate

To be a bit clearer, when should my parents meet my girlfriend's parents? I've been thinking of this for sometime now and even more since I plan on asking this incredible young lady to become my wife in the next few months or so.

Ditto to what he said...I always made it a habit never to bring someone around my parents unless it was serious...but if it's going to get THAT serious, then yes...introduce BOTh families so that way it will bring everyone closer together.

Congrats!

RhoSigma2003 · #4 10-22-2007, 11:02 AM

First, Congrats!

Our parents met each other when they moved us in together! Hehe, kinda irronic. I had imagined it as "Hello, Mr. Hanks my daughter is moving in with your son."

My boyfriend moved from Boston to Atlanta and I was moving from Chicago to Atlanta. My parents live in Nashville. We are both only children. So his dad drove the moving truck down and his mom flew to Nashville. Stayed a couple of days in my parents house(ALL of us) and then went to Atlanta with us.

We couldn't have asked for anything better! They enjoyed meeting each other and had a lot in common with one another. After spending 5 days with everyone, they are all still talking.

I think its all about timing and having it in a neutral/comfortable setting might help as well.

DSTCHAOS · #5 10-22-2007, 11:14 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Animate

To be a bit clearer, when should my parents meet my girlfriend's parents? I've been thinking of this for sometime now and even more since I plan on asking this incredible young lady to become my wife in the next few months or so.

You should've met each other's parents already but since you haven't do so ASAP.

A serious relationship for me means that our families have mingled. If a man is asking for a woman's hand in marriage, I would think that he would've wanted to know what he's marrying into long before he decided when he's going to ask for her hand.

For me, meeting each other's parents should only be done if it is a serious and longterm relationship. As adults who plan on getting married one day, this also means there's marriage potential. Meeting the family is a prize to me that requires more than just "dating." Some people let everyone meet the family, which can make the family think you're a perpetual dater (or a manwhore) if you've had 20 "girlfriends." They can be wondering "which one will he bring home this time!"

Still BLUTANG · #6 10-22-2007, 11:22 AM

i think as long as YOU have each met each others parents, thats cool.

the parents can meet each other at whatever time you feel is convenient... so for example if thanksgiving is a crazy time for your family DON'T invite them to dinner - maybe get together on a random Saturday evening.

i have a couple of friends whose parents didnt meet each other until the week of the wedding (due to distance, etc)

DaemonSeid · #7 10-22-2007, 11:26 AM

That was a bad sign to me with dating someone....

If you introduce me to your parents or child on the very first date.....that was a no for me...

SydneyK · #8 10-22-2007, 11:32 AM

My parents didn't meet my hubby's parents until the week of the wedding. Same for my brother - our parents didn't meet his wife's parents until the week of the wedding. In fact, my brother has been married for over a decade now, and my parents have spent time with my sister-in-laws parents only once since the wedding. I've been married for 5 years now, and since the wedding was over, my parents have never spent time with my parents-in-law.

As far as I can tell, unless you live close to both sets of parents, it doesn't make any difference. I can see how it would be weird if the parents didn't meet and you and your spouse (and both sets of parents) are from the same area. But other than that, I don't see how it would affect anything.

DSTCHAOS · #9 10-22-2007, 11:33 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Still BLUTANG

i think as long as YOU have each met each others parents, thats cool.

the parents can meet each other at whatever time you feel is convenient... so for example if thanksgiving is a crazy time for your family DON'T invite them to dinner - maybe get together on a random Saturday evening.

i have a couple of friends whose parents didnt meet each other until the week of the wedding (due to distance, etc)

I completely misread the question.

For the parents to meet EACH OTHER!!!

Distance is a factor for some people but if couples are together long enough (before getting married) there is usually one event where the families can mingle.

ForeverRoses · #10 10-22-2007, 11:37 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SydneyK

My parents didn't meet my hubby's parents until the week of the wedding. Same for my brother - our parents didn't meet his wife's parents until the week of the wedding. In fact, my brother has been married for over a decade now, and my parents have spent time with my sister-in-laws parents only once since the wedding. I've been married for 5 years now, and since the wedding was over, my parents have never spent time with my parents-in-law.

As far as I can tell, unless you live close to both sets of parents, it doesn't make any difference. I can see how it would be weird if the parents didn't meet and you and your spouse (and both sets of parents) are from the same area. But other than that, I don't see how it would affect anything.

I agree. My mother and my mother-in-law met at one of my wedding showers (I had three- his family, my family, and a work one since our families were in different places from where we lived). I don't think the Dads met until the week of the wedding. Now they see each other on my kids birthdays and I think they exchange Christmas cards. However, since they don't live close to one another, they don't really NEED to have a close relationship.

It's more important that you know your future in-laws (and hopefully like them).

Glitter650 · #11 10-22-2007, 01:49 PM

My parents and his parents met about two weeks after we got engaged, as they happened to be in town for his birthday.
I think it just has to do with timing and where everyone lives. But if you're planning on marrying this woman, it would be nice to set it up soon, depending on how close everyone is to each other, but I don't think it really matters if it's before or after you propose.

KSUViolet06 · #12 10-22-2007, 01:51 PM

I think it's totally appropriate for the parents to meet each other once the couple is engaged. Most of my married friends' parents didn't meet until maybe their engagement party. There were a few who say their parents met before then, but not many.

Cluey · #13 10-22-2007, 03:02 PM

Maybe I am just old fashioned, but I think it's important to get to know each other's families. To echo some of the other sentiments, if I am in a long-term relationship, I definitely want to meet some of the family members, so I can see what I am getting myself into. Not that I think my family has to be BFF with my future husband's family, but they should at least meet/mingle/get to know one another.

And you never know these days...

lauralaylin · #14 10-22-2007, 03:04 PM

I think you should do whatever works best for you. I had my mom meet my husband's parents when we were engaged, and it was just uncomfortable. If I could go back I'd just let them meet whenever it worked out (like at a shower). There was no real reason for them to meet after all. Unless they are both very involved with the wedding planning or this is important to you, I say just let it work itself out.

MysticCat · #15 10-22-2007, 03:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cluey

To echo some of the other sentiments, if I am in a long-term relationship, I definitely want to meet some of the family members, so I can see what I am getting myself into. Not that I think my family has to be BFF with my future husband's family, but they should at least meet/mingle/get to know one another.

I agree. I would never propose without getting to know her family first. All of these people are going to be part of your life from here on out. I would want to see how she interacts with my family, how they interact with her, how she interacts with her family, and how I get along with her family. That's all part of getting to know her better.

Of course, it was somewhat moot in our case -- her sister introduced us.