COB probability?

[collegemom11]

Hello, My daughter just finished rush with a disappointing outcome. She was told she was cross-cut and did not recieve either her first or second choice sororities (which she had letters of reommnedations from both). However, she did receive bids from houses she really had not interest in that were way down on her list. She decided to drop (last day) and not accept so she could try COB. There is no information on this process and she is not sure when this may occur. She has only heard that the pledge classes seem to be full. Do girls drop out or depledge BEFORE initiation? ANd is that when COB most likely would occur? She is in the dark and very sad.
She has a high GPA, was envolved in many extracirriculars in HS, including leadership positions, is very friendly (and attractive) and did over 200 hours of community service. Both the sorority Pres and rush chairs talked to her and seemed very interested. She is not sure what happened and is very sad. She loves to get involved, plan, and get things done. To make matters worse the 5 friends that she made during rush all got their first chioce sororities! I was tld by a friend that cross cutting happens in large schools (CA).
ANy feedback on COBs and if they really happen? Or should she just plan to rush in spring or fall of her sophmore year? She is very depressed right now as all of her friends are now going to the football games with their sororites and she is left behind. Thank you SO much... any feedback would be GREATLY appreciated.

[SthrnZeta]

Well, only chapters that are under the campus total may COB, so if it is going to happen, it will be pretty soon after recruitment ends so that the chapter can round out a higher number of new members for their pledge class. If all the chapters are at total, they won't do COB. As for Spring Rush, at my school only the chapters that weren't at total or who were graduating enough seniors that semester to bring them under total could participate and each chapter held its own events (no organized Greek recruitment). Have your daughter call the Greek Life office and find out who will be allowed to do COB and any info they may have about Spring recruitment. That's her best source of info unless you find someone on here that went/goes to her school since this can vary widely by campus. I wish her the best of luck!!!

Originally Posted by SthrnZeta

Have your daughter call the Greek Life office and find out who will be allowed to do COB and any info they may have about Spring recruitment. That's her best source of info unless you find someone on here that went/goes to her school since this can vary widely by campus. I wish her the best of luck!!!

Sorry, I just had to put a strong emphasis on that.

[ThetaPrincess24]

Nothing secures a bid to a sorority. Cuts are made for a variety of reasons and each chapter cuts differently.

If your daughter is interested in COB she should contact her Greek Life office on her campus for more information. They will be able to tell her if any of the chapters are eligible for COB. COB may or may not occur if new members drop out of their sorority before initiation. It depends on how close initiation is in the semester, if that particular sorority has total, and/or took quota during formal recruitment. Some sororities also only advertise to their friends if they are participating in COB and may not make it widely known.

Hope this helps and good luck to your daughter.

[SthrnZeta]

Originally Posted by OTW

Sorry, I just had to put a strong emphasis on that.

I thought you might like that All too often, concerned moms get on here seeking advice for their daugters. And, while I feel for them, it is ultimatley up to their daughter to pursue this since it is a lifetime commitment that their daughter is seeking to make, not them.

[collegemom11]

Thank you SO much. I am trying to stay out of the process and she does not even know that I am asking. I would never considering calling on her behalf as she is an adult and it is her responsibility to follow-up. However, when we spoke last she mentioned to me that "is not right to ask a sorority about whether or not they are going to have COB, they ask you" and she does not want to sound desparate. But we all now information is the key and Rush has so much mystery about it that she, as a freshman, is not sure what the proper etiquette is. Now I can give her the information to call the Greek Office. Thanks SO much! ANy other tips are greatly appreciated. I know she told me that she is going to maintain a high GPA and continue with her community service volunteering, which will not only benefit her personally but help demonstrate she is worthy of her sorority choice.
Thanks!

[SthrnZeta]

You are very right - she should keep her grades and involvement on campus as high as possible (without overextending her of course). I know my chapter adverstised our open events for COB all over campus so perhaps she may seem some flyers around soon. But I think someone also mentioned they may only be holding invite only events - in which case she will only get info from the Greek Life office (if the chapters have informed them of anything). Otherwise, it'll have to wait until Spring. Keep us posted though!

[skylark]

Originally Posted by collegemom11

"is not right to ask a sorority about whether or not they are going to have COB, they ask you" and she does not want to sound desparate.

To other GCers: is this really how it is on other campuses? (It certainly was not a faux pas to ask on my campus -- it shows your interest!)

[Benzgirl]

Originally Posted by skylark

To other GCers: is this really how it is on other campuses? (It certainly was not a faux pas to ask on my campus -- it shows your interest!)

I have never heard that, but my recommendation too is to have her contact the Greek Life office. That way, she is doing her homework politically correct

[violetpretty]

Typically, a PNM will have the most choices during the first time she is eligible for formal recruitment (99.9% of campuses, this means freshmen). There are of course, exceptions, like not having good enough grades, not having recs if your campus is a place where PNMs need them to be competitive. She has the grades. You didn't mention where your daughter goes to school, but you said something about CA, which I am assuming is California. If it is USC that she attends, from what other GCers say, it is a school where recs are needed to be competitive. (Recs are definitely needed in the SEC as well).

What I am saying is, unless something changes, she will have the same or fewer choices each semester. Not every sorority will be participating in informal recruitment in the spring. Chances are, the ones who offered your daughter a bid that she rejected will be among chapters participating. It sounds like she didn't match with the chapters she ranked after preference, so that means those chapters made quota. Unless they are under total, they won't be participating in informal. If she chooses to try again in as a sophomore next fall, she will undoubtedly be immediately cut from a few chapters because of her class standing.

My advice for your daughter:

1. Have her call the Office of Fraternity and Sorority life to find out about COB.
2. If any chapters are participating, she should attend an event for each. She might change her mind about the chapter(s) once she gets to meet members in a more authentic way.
3. If she does formal recruitment in the fall again, she needs to keep an open mind. She may have fewer choices as a sophomore.
4. Maintain friendships with her friends who are pledging or are already in sororities and maybe make friends in sororities through class or any activities in which she participates. She is much less likely to get "lost in the shuffle". Having friends in chapters does not guarantee you won't get cut, but it can't hurt.
5. She needs to get recs if this is a school where they are needed to be competitive. She may not get a straight answer about this from the Greek Life Office, so she might just want to ask a bunch of friends if they got recs if she is unsure.

[SthrnZeta]

Yeah, what VioletPretty said

[texas*princess]

Originally Posted by skylark

To other GCers: is this really how it is on other campuses? (It certainly was not a faux pas to ask on my campus -- it shows your interest!)

That was not considered faux pas on my campus either.

How are they going to know you exist and are possibly interested if you don't let them know you are alive and possibly interested?

Sure, many sororities will tell their members to talk to unaffiliated women they know that might possibly be interested, but if they limit themselves to the women that members already know, they are really limiting their options.

I realize every campus is different, but COR is supposed to be informal...not intimidating. If you obsessively call a chapters VP-Recruitment and send them 34249203 emails each day, then yeah, that would be making yourself look desperate.... but a simple introductory "Hi I'm alive and interested in your sorority" isn't stalkerish or desperate at all.

[adpiucf]

If your daughter is in CA, and most ladies rushing had recs, I'd guess it was USC. I'm sorry she didn't have a positive experience at recruitment. She's got a wonderful attitude.

The office of Greek Life may have a list of women interested in COB to circulate around to the sororities. She can call the office of Greek Life, as has been suggested by other posters, to inquire. Also, she should definitely get involved at the school to make friends and enjoy her freshman year! She may also meet sorority women this way. It's good to have "connections" and network-- these sorority friends may invite her to COB if they hold one. She should express an interest to her sorority friends at an appropriate time so they know she would be open to the possibility of membership.

If your daughter is at another CA school, it just depends. CA schools tend to have a laid back recruitment. UCLA is on the quarter system. Most of the chapters recruit once a quarter. Their formal recruitment is frilly, but COB is not.

It won't be impossible for your daughter to get a bid as a sophomore at a CA school, provided she maintains a positive reputation socially and academically this year. There are some diminishing returns the closer you are to graduating, however.

Good luck to your daughter. If she is truly interested in Greek Life, she will find the resources to join. It may also mean she joins a sorority that was not her instant first choice. Do remind her that recruitment is but a week of first impressions-- and hasty ones at that. She may rush this spring through COB or in formal next fall and have a completely different take on the process, the members and the various organizations after a year or a semester of living among them on campus.

The best thing for her to do now is to live her life, get good grades and have a good time Any chapters having COB may advertise it as open to all or do it by invite only or a combination of the two. Again, she should affirm her interest with the office of Greek Life and to any sorority friends she has so they can be on the lookout for her or invite her to their events, if they would like to. Most sororities who can will likely do COB right after formal, and then wait again until spring. A lot goes on with sororities in the fall, so there isn't time or interest in marshaling the troops to take in a few girls right around initiation time. There are too many other activities happening around campus, including fall academics, homecoming, the current new member class, the social calendar, football, other activities, etc.