Keeping the flame alive

cheerfulgreek · #1 01-22-2008, 04:32 PM

Are lovers at 1st sight truely meant to be?

A new study of 137 couples found no difference in commitment, intamacy, or relationship quality between those who fell in love at 1st sight and those who started off as friends. It said that the friends 1st partners had more similar personalities, and me personally, I think similarity creates more long term harmony (at least it does for me). I do think opposites attract (at 1st), but less frequently adhere. I believe in "physical attraction" at 1st sight which sometimes can cause lust at 1st sight, but I think that gets old really fast. After the smoke clears from the Cupid's initial offensive, that's when it depends on how much a couple is willing to work on keeping the flame alive.

Do you believe a couple can stay together based on love at 1st sight? or do you think friendship 1st is always the best thing?

When Doves Cry · #2 01-22-2008, 06:44 PM

I'm not as outgoing when I first meet people so love at first sight doesn't really work me because the guy always thinks I'm shy or has a boring personality.
Last year, a guy in one of my classes asked me out like right when he met me because he thought I was pretty. That lasted about a week. Because I really didn't know him at all so I wasn't sure what to say. Like ever. So he lost interest. But the guy after that (who I was friends with for a whole semester first) and I lasted about 6.5 months. And my current bf was my friend first, for an entire year & a semester. And I have way more "chemistry" with him than I ever had with my ex.
So.. I guess I like the friends-first better.

KSUViolet06 · #3 01-23-2008, 12:13 AM

I don't believe in love at first sight.

I think that you can see someone and think they're attractive, but you can't love or even like them until you actually get to know them.

AGDee · #4 01-23-2008, 12:20 AM

I agree with you KSUViolet. A friend of mine recently fell "in love at first sight" and it got very serious very quickly and then crashed and burned. I told her that she wasn't in love with him, she was in love with her fantasy of who he was. It was quite a shock to her when he didn't turn out to be that person. I think we do that a lot though. We see someone, develop an idea of who they are based on stereotypes or, because we like what we see physically, we mentally turn them into who we want them to be. When we find out they aren't that person we created in our heads, and they don't meet the expectations we created for them, we are greatly disappointed.