Random Pubic Hair Rant

James · #1 10-29-2001, 11:09 PM

I'm walking down the hallway the other day and I see this guy I know and he's got something wrong with his face, like a wierd disease on his chin . . . I wanted to go up to him and ask what was up but I didn't want to him to feel bad so I go up to this sorority girl that knows him . . . and she says he grew a goatie, and I'm like Oh, he's growing a beard? And she's like no, he already grew a goatie.

She's kind of blunt so she leans in and whispers: no one has the heart to tell him it looks like he has pubic hair implants on his face, like the "hair club" for men . . .

Ok, so this is for the guys . . .

Look, if you don't have enough Testosterone to DHT conversion (those are hormones that give you male secondary sex characteristics) to give you THICK HAIR GROWTH . . .

DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT, grow little curly pubic hair like things on your chin!!

I mean sheez, do you know how stupid it looks when you are trying for the unshaven lumberjack style and getting the 13 year old pre-puberty, pre-voice change, little virgin with a small penis appearance?

I know, I know, the media has spent a lot of time and effort portraying pubes on your chin as cute, but did you ever stop to think that the people that invent those styles are mostly middlae age men with same sex orientation that are no doubt wondering what you look like with your pants off? So they figured out a way of getting a sneak peek by having you advertise on your chin?

I mean I am so not into hazing but if some new members were to come forward with pubic hair on their chins like some athlete's foot fungus . . . I would almost have to haze them within an inch of their lives . . . or give them steroids, or ask them to Ritually shave one another . . . oops wrong movie.

So anyway, final word of caution:

If its going to be curly, fuzzy, in some wierd color, someone could refer to it as pubic hair, or it looks like that a girl would be waxing befor e putting on a bikini don't let it infest your chins!

And if you do and we meet, expect me to laugh hysterically at you.

Don't be that guy . . .

The1calledTKE · #2 10-29-2001, 11:16 PM

James you scare me.

But don't worry I am not that guy.

James · #3 10-29-2001, 11:27 PM

You do well to fear me

josh8o · #4 10-29-2001, 11:28 PM

Funny shit... yet true!!!

The1calledTKE · #5 10-29-2001, 11:28 PM

I said scared not fear there is a difference.

ZTAngel · #6 10-30-2001, 12:59 AM

Actually, a few of my friends and I were talking about this the other day! We went to the movies together on a Friday night. If you arrive at the movies around 10pm, you will see what is known as the "middle school" crowd. They all stand around the curb trying to act all tough. The girls are in mini skirts and a tube top (How can these mothers let their daughters dress like that? I notice more and more middle school girls wearing outfits that college girls would only dare wear to clubs! When I was in middle school, my mom stuck me in polo shirts and skirts that came to at least my knees!) The boys are all in FUBU and have their baseball caps on backwards. They act all "hard" until their mother pulls up in the minivan and take them home. We saw this kid sitting on the curb with a toothpick hanging out of his mouth. He was probably about 11. I saw these little straggely things hanging off his face. At first I thought it was dirt but then I realized that this prepubescent boy thought he actually had a beard!!! It was actually kinda cute. He probably thought it made him look like he was grand old age of 16. That is until my friend, Amanda, who has no shame, walked up to him and said loudly, "Don't worry! You're mom will be here soon!" The poor kid turned bright red as the other middle schoolers pointed and laughed at him. I look back at my middle school days and can remember those kids that would grow out their 3 pieces of facial hair as long as they could....until some bully would yank it off their face while they were meandering around the cafeteria. It looked sooooo ridiculous. It is far better to have a baby face then to grow out your peach fuzz (what I call it). Plus, when you grow out your three strands of facial hair, it makes you look younger. Wait until you can grow a full beard before letting your hair loose. Girls don't think it's cool that you have peach fuzz....we'll just laugh at you.

XO_Princess · #7 10-30-2001, 01:09 AM

ROFLMAO!! You guys are cracking me up!!

Tom Earp · #8 10-30-2001, 01:42 AM

James, are we starting to rub off on you

You are starting to getttttt a lot stranger than the Normsal nutsoiods and moronic crazys

God if you did not sing in I would think i wrote it, well with more Earpisms, My lingo!!!!

Well You are learning!!!!!!!

Thrillhouse · #9 10-30-2001, 01:50 AM

Tom, does this mean James might be a future president one day?

Tom Earp · #10 10-30-2001, 02:00 AM

Da me!!!!!!

i forgot on of the least impotent jobs Vice President!!!

What do you think>

lifesaver · #11 10-30-2001, 12:19 PM

OK, I can remember being in 8th grade and Troy Aven who was of cuban ethnic origin had a full on moustache. The part that stuck in my crawl was that it looked really bad. It needed to be trimmed and groomed...and bad. It wasnt even that flattering on him. I sat in front of him in Biology and can remember telling him ('cause I have no shame either) he needed to shave that thing off of his face. He told me withthe straightest face, "but I'm not old enough yet." I'm like dude, you can grow a better 'stash than my dad. Shave that $hit off. Ya look like a fool. Last I knew ya only needed to be of a certain age to buy lottery tickets, tobacco and booze, not razors!

I gurantee at our renuion I'll be reminding troy of that story.

James · #12 10-30-2001, 03:43 PM

Off topic . . .

That is so true ZTAngel . . . I was sitting in some woman's clothing store with the Girl of The Moment, bein
useless and making inane comments like "you really look thin in that" and "wow, can you wear that? I think that outfit is illegal in seven states

." (Note for men: Women like active and positive reinforcement when shopping and dresing room mirror can be traumatic). So then outwalks this 11-13 year old girl in an outfit that transformed her from seller of girl scout cookies to instant jail bait. Dad was sitting outside the dresing room, took one look, and just said NO! (Like those new and old programs out there for youths, you know which ones: "Just say NO to making your little girl into a target for every sexually active male above the age of 8." And D.A.R.E. to keep your little girl from looking like a slut).

But oh well, maybe its all the steroids oin the water but girls seem so well endowed these days . . .

Quote:

Originally posted by ZTAngel

SNIP . . .

The girls are in mini skirts and a tube top (How can these mothers let their daughters dress like that? I notice more and more middle school girls wearing outfits that college girls would only dare wear to clubs! When I was in middle school, my mom stuck me in polo shirts and skirts that came to at least my knees!) The boys are all in FUBU and have their baseball caps on backwards. . . .

DeltaBetaBaby · #13 10-30-2001, 04:59 PM

Speaking of pubes, a fraternity here just got caught hazing their pledges by making them clean the floor after the actives shaved their balls.

lifesaver · #14 10-30-2001, 05:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DeltaBetaBaby
Speaking of pubes, a fraternity here just got caught hazing their pledges by making them clean the floor after the actives shaved their balls.

Ewwww.

Groos.

Sick.

Thanks for the mental image DBB.

What I wanna know is this; how does that come about? After the chap intramural game and all the brothers are sitting around having a beer and one looks to another and says, "Hey steve, that was a great pass you threw. I wish we kept stats, cause your having a great season. You've thrown for a ton of yards this season. Lets celebrate by shaving our junk together."

WTF?!?!?!?!?!

I'm gonna be a bit descriptive here, but bear with me as I am striving for a point. I trim (not shave) my package. I dont want the Black Forrest down there or anything. I know most of my brothers keep tidy down there. I lived in house for a year so I know whats up. Were not all prudish or anything, hell quite a few of us were even naked in a hot tub a few weeks back with some ladies after a chapter party. We've got quite a few jocks who are comfortable with their equip. But a group shave? Thats a bit much. As for my bros, even though I KNOW they shave, they never would admit to it. Even if we were plowed. My chapters just not like that. I dunno if its a southern thing or what, but my chapter just wouldnt do that. Not only would we not do that, we dont even talk about that stuff. I mean we'll joke an tease each other about hooking up with a big girl or whatever, but we'd never sit around and shave our junk together. Thats a whole different kind of "Sharing of the Brotherhood" that I just dont wanna be a part of.

Since when was "pass the candle" replaced with "pass the razor" ?!?

justamom · #15 10-30-2001, 06:17 PM

Well. I've just learned more about men than I ever cared to know.

Lifesaver, for once I can say, and really mean...I'm speechless.

BTW- Oh forget it, I'm STILL speechless.