Alums and alcohol in chapter houses

[lake]

Would love to hear what others think of this, especially the NPC ladies:

A woman I work with is an alumna of another NPC group, and she told me about an interesting situation her chapter dealt with recently.

A fellow alum from her chapter was a real "Super Alum". She helped implement a scholarship for the chapter in memory of another alum's young daughter (who died many years ago), and has a daughter of her own who she would bring to visit the chapter house for events like Homecoming while this girl was growing up. About 10 years ago (right before SA's daughter was about to enter college there), the chapter was struggling with membership numbers and was thisclose to losing their charter. Apparently Super Alum stepped in, organized a big fundraising effort among the other alums to keep the chapter afloat financially while they worked on improving their numbers, and ultimately ended up helping to save the chapter (it's apparently one of the top chapters at this school now).

The daughter ended up pledging her mother's chapter shortly after, won that GLO's prestigious annual named-after-their Founder(s) scholarship, and went on to have a happy experience with this GLO, following in dear old mom's footsteps.

Flash forward to last summer. Apparently this woman's daughter's new member class had a reunion in the chapter house. School was not in session, and there were no collegians there. Just the young(er) alum members from the daughter's era. For whatever reason, Super Alum was there too. On the last night of their reunion, they had a very nice meal and apparently without consulting anyone (like the Collegiate Advisor), SA served wine with the dinner - in the chapter house.

When the powers-that-be from that local chapter found out, I guess they gave SA a very stern scolding for breaking a pretty big rule. SA disagreed, the two sides went round and round, and ultimately SA played the "to hell with you guys" card and refuses to have anything more to do with this chapter.

Personally, I'm with the collegiate chapter advisors/staff - these no-alcohol (and other) policies are in place for very good reasons. But...at the same time, everyone was alum, no collegiates were present (underage or otherwise), no one got drunk and out of control (just a glass of wine with dinner), they're all adults, and on and on.

But then again...if you let this sort of thing slide, who's to say you won't later be up against excuses like "But I'm alum and school's not in session. I want my husband/boyfriend/fiance/guy I just met at the bar/<fill in the blank> to sleep here with me tonight." Situations like that that end up being a 'gray area' nightmare.

I just thought this was an interesting situation and am curious what everyone else thinks. Thoughts?

[Benzgirl]

Originally Posted by lake

Would love to hear what others think of this, especially the NPC ladies:


But then again...if you let this sort of thing slide, who's to say you won't later be up against excuses like "But I'm alum and school's not in session. I want my husband/boyfriend/fiance/guy I just met at the bar/<fill in the blank> to sleep here with me tonight." Situations like that that end up being a 'gray area' nightmare.

I just thought this was an interesting situation and am curious what everyone else thinks. Thoughts?

It's been a long time, but we had something set up if we needed alcohol for an event (i.e. Wine and Cheese on Parent's Weekend), we would go to the House Association for permission. As long as it was never a "party", it was approved.

Now, that was many years ago and liability laws have changed. When I think back, most of my sisters were not 21 but sipping wine. Even though they weren't drunk and in their parent's presence, we could have been liable. I'm no legal expert, but you could have someone like SA sign a waiver that she accepts all responsibility.

[CarolinaDG]

I never lived in a house, so I'm not sure why those rules are in place... our housing allowed alcohol as long as you were 21. (At least, I'm pretty sure that wasn't against DG rules... I turned 21 right before our chapter closed)

Anyway, I don't see the big deal as long as everyone present was 21, but yes they should have asked permission... unless of course they knew it was wrong and were trying to hide it, in which case, why's she so upset? It's her fault!

I guess my only thing is that if she only got a stern warning, why did she have to throw a fit? They didn't do anything to her, just asked that she abide by house rules!

[Titchou]

I can absolutely tell you that Delta Gamma's alcohol policy states there is to be no alcohol on ANY delta Gamma property - this means house, steps, parking lot, anything. Absolutely NO waivers are given for alum functions. They have been asked for and have been turned down. This is one policy for which waivers are never granted.

[skylark]

Originally Posted by CarolinaDG

I guess my only thing is that if she only got a stern warning, why did she have to throw a fit? They didn't do anything to her, just asked that she abide by house rules!

My thoughts exactly... a warning = SA's ego deflated. It sounds like SA thought she was the sh*t with her GLO because she "saved" a chapter and everyone should be so grateful for her self-sacrificing GLO spirit... who does HQ think they are making her follow pesky rules that she could probably even change if she really wanted to (some sarcasm, I hope, was detected).

Yeah, the spirit of the rule probably isn't violated since it was wine at an alum-only dinner... but shouldn't HQ be able to decide FIRST if this is a worthy exception before some SA (who is so involved in the sorority it is unlikely that she didn't know of the rule) decides that she has the authority to make the exception because of who she is?

[AlphaFrog]

Originally Posted by skylark

Yeah, the spirit of the rule probably isn't violated since it was wine at an alum-only dinner...

Exactly. No need to continue.

People get too much of a stick up their ass about alcohol rules. One (or two) glass(es) of wine for overage alums does not pose a Risk Management issue.

I hope they were wearing their pins/letters too...just for the full effect.

[lake]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

I hope they were wearing their pins/letters too...just for the full effect.

I know it's wrong, but that scenario is friggin' funny.

[texas*princess]

Originally Posted by AlphaFrog

Exactly. No need to continue.

People get too much of a stick up their ass about alcohol rules. One (or two) glass(es) of wine for overage alums does not pose a Risk Management issue.

I hope they were wearing their pins/letters too...just for the full effect.

I'm with AF on this one. It was a glass of wine at dinner. Not a huge everyone-grab-your-own-bottle-and-let's-party-like-we-were-19-again event.

I'm not sure why SA got all crazy because it's not like they seriously reprimanded her.

As far as the overnight guest scenario goes, being an alum = being out of college = some sort of income = hotel room. There is no reason for an overage alum who is not in college, or the house mom, to be staying in a sorority house during the summer or at any time for that matter.

Anyway, if the chapter & housing corp. was serious about making sure nothing happened in the house while everyone was out, they would have made sure the house was locked and no one had access to it. Apparently something happened that allowed this group of women in unsupervised

[SWTXBelle]

Here's the deal -whether the rule is stupid or not, it is still a directive from Headquarters. The alumnae should have had their meal at a nice restaurant, or not had wine in the chapter house. What kind of message does it send to the collegians when a "super alum" flouts the rules? You are setting the stage for all KINDS of unnecessary conflicts. If SA loves her GLO, she should follow the rules. I suspect she once vowed to do just that. And if she really doesn't like the rule - change it. I suspect, based on my own experience, that it had more to do with her ego than anything else.

[honeychile]

Our local "Super Alum" and I had a discussion about alcohol. She & her husband have a very active social life, and occasionally, she goes from someone's party to the chapter. She was wondering if she was wrong having even a glass of wine at the party, prior to going to the Suite. We decided that telling the chapter that she had come from a previous engagement which included wine with dinner was the best way to go.

As innocent as this reunion seems to have been, there seems to have been a lot of over-reaction on both sides. SA & her daughter knew better, and the GLO was right - but in defense of both sides, they ALL should remember to "pick their battles". A politely worded "of course, you know better" from the GLO and a politely worded, "I'm sorry, it will never happen again" would have saved a lot of angst in this case.

[Tom Earp]

What a shame all of this gets so over the top.

When I used to visit the house, I always stayed there with the guys.

Some other people seem to have a (THE) stick up somewhere.

[UGAalum94]

No one should violate GLO policies, alum or otherwise. But GLO policies need to be communicated to alum members particularly if they might have changed since the alum was active.

That said, I can just as easily imagine that the correcting of SuperAlum was regarded as an opportunity to take her down a peg as I can imagine it was tactfully handled but SuperAlum overreacted in return. Since none of us were actually there, it seems unlikely that we'll ever know.

But I will say this, although I don't really think that anyone should be visibly intoxicated at even event*, I don't think that groups need to be weirdly Puritanical about their alcohol policies.

For liability reasons, a blanket policy about serving and consuming alcohol on the groups' property makes compete sense to me. Feeling obligated to abstain from drinking or explain your drinking because you anticipated going on the property later seems a little odd to me for members or alums over the age of 21.

*honestly, yes, even undergraduate members over 21 probably shouldn't be visibly liquored up at formals or whatever. But I understand that reality falls short of the ideal.

[DeltAlum]

A couple of questions occur to me.

Honestly, how many sorority houses are totally "dry?" Meaning nobody has a little bottle of something hidden in her room.

Is the national dry rule for the house (physical house) or the chapter(s)?

Does Nationals own the house, or the House Corporation?

If it's the House Corp, if there are no undergraduates present, is it still a sorority house? (Air Force One is not designated that if the President isn't on board.)

In the overall state of things (fair or not) some people are "more equal" than others. (Thank's, I think, to Mr. Orwell)

So, in the final analasys, is it worth losing a fairly influential alum for what would appear to be a very trivial thing?

Maybe.

Maybe not.

[Titchou]

Because all NPC groups purchase their insurance from the same source - MJ Insurance - I can tell you that all NPC groups have a rule about no alcohol in the house. It is a condition of our coverege. Now, we all know that rules are broken all the time. But the rule is there.

[macallan25]

Originally Posted by DeltAlum

A couple of questions occur to me.

Honestly, how many sorority houses are totally "dry?" Meaning nobody has a little bottle of something hidden in her room.

Is the national dry rule for the house (physical house) or the chapter(s)?

Does Nationals own the house, or the House Corporation?

If it's the House Corp, if there are no undergraduates present, is it still a sorority house? (Air Force One is not designated that if the President isn't on board.)

In the overall state of things (fair or not) some people are "more equal" than others. (Thank's, I think, to Mr. Orwell)

So, in the final analasys, is it worth losing a fairly influential alum for what would appear to be a very trivial thing?

Maybe.

Maybe not.

I've been in some of the sorority houses down here often........and I have never seen even a hint of alcohol. Same with some other schools as well.