Why are less young men and women getting married?

[DIRTY-BILL CLINTON]

What ever happened to going to college, having fun, meeting a nice girl, having a relationship, graduating, and then getting married?
Point: I thought that once I got to college I would meet a girl and "hook-up"....WRONG...so many college men and women get involved with losers outside of college who don't even have a clue about life or real careers. Every one they date is a "friend"(yeah right). They also party their lives away until they are 40 or so and then they wonder why they can't find love.
What's really going on? Are there any serious people who have family laurels and values towards marriage left?

[southern_theta]

i think that there are less and less of us who go away to college expecting to meet our future husband/wife there. i, for one, am not doing serious husband hunting (but then again i'm only a sophomore). i figure i'll have fun, hook up, and if i meet someone who i'd want to get engaged to, great, but i'm not really planning on it. i think that kids today no longer go to college as a means of getting the "mrs." degree. i know that's not why i'm there. i'm there to get a great education, become a more well-rounded human being, and to have fun. meeting my future husband at school is not an expectation that i brought when i started college, so i'm not stressing about whether or not i'll be married the summer after i graduate or whatever. in fact, the thought of getting married at 22 makes me shudder (even though my own parents did just that!). i'm 19 now but i still feel so young. i can't see how i would be emotionally ready to marry someone in 3 yrs, but that doesn't mean that i don't want what my parents have, someday in the more distant future (like age 25 or 26). getting married right out of college just doesn't seem to be taken for granted anymore, but i don't think that means that the basic values have changed. young people just want to enjoy their freedom and autonomy for a few more years, and i don't know why they shouldn't.

[BFulton]

Unfortunately, many of my friends & classmates who got married right after college (i.e. followed that plan) are divorced. Granted, others are also still happily married, which is great! However, looking back (I'm 31, to give you a reference for how long some of those marriages didn't last.) I know I changed and grew tremendously right after college. Today, I'd pick a different person to marry than the types I was considering at 21 or 22. (Not that I was partying away college, I would have been happy to get married right out of school - that didn't work out and I know that was a good thing! )

[This message has been edited by BFulton (edited July 13, 2000).]

[HER_STORY]

bfulton,


DITTO!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[mgdzkm433]

Many college men and women today are out to have fun, yes, but are not planning for the future as far as marriage goes. Most of the people I know have mapped out their future career wise, and have planned on not marrying untill after they are out of school and financial/career stable. In today's world I've noticed that people are all about planning things. Planned pregnancy, planned career, planned. . . Everything! It's not that often that someone just flies by the seat of their pants anymore. Our parents, and I mean our parents as in my generation (I'm 22), weren't like that. They graduated high school, got married, had kids, and pretty much none of it was planned, or at least most of it wasn't.

[LXAAlum]

Ahem,
I must take exception to "meeting losers outside of college"....I met my wife outside of school - she never went to college, and, has a better head on her shoulders and grasp on reality than many college graduates that I know. Last I heard, college was no longer the realm of women looking for the "MRS" degree. My wife has a "PHT" (Put husband through) degree - and she worked much harder than most students to help us get to where we are today. Don't judge people based simply on their education level....

[blu_theatrics]

Well said, your wife has a wonderful husband and I'm sure that she is a supportive and wonderful wife as well

Originally posted by LXAAlum:
Ahem,
I must take exception to "meeting losers outside of college"....I met my wife outside of school - she never went to college, and, has a better head on her shoulders and grasp on reality than many college graduates that I know. Last I heard, college was no longer the realm of women looking for the "MRS" degree. My wife has a "PHT" (Put husband through) degree - and she worked much harder than most students to help us get to where we are today. Don't judge people based simply on their education level....

[Siobhan]

I think a couple of reasons are that the economy is very different today, and that a Bachelor's Degree just doesn't cut it anymore. Once you have that BA or BSc then its off to Grad school or a professional school and so on. Of course that could be just a Canuck point of view

[LXAAlum]

blu...
Thanks so much for confirming what I already know about my wife! She got a kick out of the original post....

Thanks!

[LXAAlum]

Originally posted by mgdzkm433:
In today's world I've noticed that people are all about planning things. Planned pregnancy, planned career, planned. . . Everything! It's not that often that someone just flies by the seat of their pants anymore. Our parents, and I mean our parents as in my generation (I'm 22), weren't like that. They graduated high school, got married, had kids, and pretty much none of it was planned, or at least most of it wasn't.

Mikki - regarding planning everything in one's life. I, too, had made many plans, along with my wife. However, I sincerely believe God has a different plan, and, a sense of humor about it. Every plan we made, were changed by circumstances beyond our control - two unexpected (but extremely blessed gifts) children, career plans that never materialized as I had "planned" them to, taking 8 years to finally buy a house, etc...etc...etc...

My point? So what, my "plans" didn't pan out in any way, shape, or form. However, I wouldn't trade what has happened for anything, nor to get "plans" back on track. Basically, living by the seat of one's pants has been a terrific ride. Trust in God, and all ends well. Live each day as your last (but responsibly as well) -

I'm reflecting on this more deeply than I thought - tonight I attended a funeral for someone who's life was cut too short, tragically. Life is to precious to take for granted, or, to plan out every little detail - don't sweat the small stuff, and, life is all small stuff when you really think about it.

[Billy Optimist]

I thought bringing this back would be better than posting a new thread. Um...
I don't like family values. Really at all. I want to be married and divorced at least five times.

[IowaHawkeye]

Billy, are you being serious?

[bubbles17]

Wow...yeah, Billy are you being serious??

I guess I'm just one of those hopeless romantic types! Call me antiquated, too traditional...BUT, when I get to college, in the back of my mind, I would love it if I truly met my SWEETHEART. (like LXAAlum.) But I know that the possiblity of that happening is very slim. So I'm not gonna go through college just waiting for my sweetheart to come and sweep me off my feet , BUT, I wouldn't mind!!!!!!!

I read too many fairytales as a kid!! LOL....

[Billy Optimist]

Yeah I am serious. Its not Ideal, and even though i'm an idealist, I've managed to pull my head out of the clouds long enough to realize it just won't work out. I got strung along for about three years by someone who swore she wanted to marry me. So I just kindof have a feeling that it'll take me a while, and that there will be misunderstanings, or complete lack of any understanding, in at least the first try. Maybe that was an exxageration, but I just am not too optimistic about marriage number one. But number two, or three....It'll be great!!!!!!!

[Hootie]

It's funny because I work in a jewelry store where I spend a lot of time with customers. I see a wide variety of couples...some so young they're still in high school, some years apart in age and others that are so old you wouldn't suspect them being there to look at engagement rings...but they are.
I guess sometimes I feel the wedding bells chime - in place of biological clock - and wonder when my big day will come. It's hard to put into perspective when people tell me I have so much time and then think to how my mom just had me after she was MY age -21.
I feel that romance is lost and that people hurt people too much for me to believe in long lasting love...although I'm the fighting type that won't give up on a relationship til it's outta my hands. I do not believe in love at first sight anymore, and I definately do not believe that there is just ONE person meant for me...I believe there are many.
OH, and another odd thing...
I see so many couples come into my store...couples my age or a little older...wanting outrageously priced rings. It's so funny because there are these college kids wanting to spend a fortune on their rings and then there are 40 something couples wanting to just upgrade their old wedding sets for the same price...difference is they've been married 20 some years before getting their rocks.
I JUST DON'T GET IT.