Dumped

[KarenC725]

Sort of along the same lines as the bad breakup one, what do you do when your life has been re-routed due to a break up? I only ask because the man I was sure that I would marry made it clear tonight that we are not gonna be together. I'm not sure we will ever speak again. So, what is everyone's suggestion for how to make it through and not be a crying mess????

[ZTAngel]

Here's advice from one ZTA sister to another:
I've been in your place before. About a year ago, the guy that I really thought was the ONE told me that it was over. I remember being a crying mess and I drove 200 miles home to my mom that day just so I wouldn't be all alone in my apartment.
I admit, it's lonely at first because you're probably use to being with him or sleeping over there. My roommates had left to go home for the summer so here I was in my apartment for 3 months straight without any roommates. So, I concentrated all my energy into work and school just so that I could get him off my mind. I met a lot of friends through work who I hung out with. Also, whenever I would start getting lonely and felt like moping around with a carton of chocolate ice cream and a rented copy of Steel Magnolias, I would call her up and she'd be right there to take me out that night to a club so that I could dance off all that energy. Not only are best friends wonderful but so are guy friends. Not only because they might have a hot friend (hint, hint) but because they're always there to point out the flaws in your ex's. After me and my boyfriend broke up, my friend Joe was right there to tell me about how he thought my ex had a mishapen nose and how annoying it was that my ex always ended his sentences with a slight laugh (it was soooo irritating). This made me feel a lot better! So, for the next couple of months put your time into other activities. I give about a week of moping around looking at old pictures and remembering the goods times. After a week, hide those pictures in the way back, scary part of your closet and don't look at them again until you're ready to deal with it. Then, go out and have fun. You're a single girl now and there's no better way to have fun with your closest girl friends than a night on the town. During the day, put all your efforts into work or school. This will help keep your mind off of him. And, if he pops into your mind at time when you're around a ton of people and you know you're going to completely lose it, think of one of his flaws that you just could not stand! Laugh about it, take a deep breath, and then think about something else. Now that you're single, this gives you a chance to find someone else who will better suit your needs and wants. And remember: there's always a better guy out there! So have fun looking! ZLAM

[This message has been edited by ZTAngel (edited May 04, 2001).]

[KarenC725]

I'm about to drive back to my mom too and I'm 25! We were talking about ring sizes until about three weeks ago. We broke up once for 7 months and didn't speak to each other. That was 1998. Needless to say, we've been back together for a while. Seeing as this news is less than 3 hours old to me, I'm still in complete denial. I called my big but she isn't home otherwise I'd probably be driving to Virginia.

[DGPhoney]

I truly understand your situation, when my ex and I broke up awhile back I didn't know what to do but cry all day. But heres my advice, it helped me and maybe it will help you. When we first broke up, I cryed the whole day and then some, and then it was like I woke up, i decided I wasn't going to be sad, it's kinda like u get up from falling and u dust yourself off u learn and u move on. Like ZT angel said, use your energy for something else, and try not to think about it. That semester I used my energy too for school, and I took on some other activities, like that was the first yr, I decided to be apart of the fashion show, and from all the excitment, I didn't have time to think about the situation. Do something new, go to a club, and just go to have fun and relax with your friends and just relax. Get it all out, and then you'll feel better cause there be something left, cause it's out of ur system and u can be happier and move on to other things. But take your time, it won't happen over nite, cause the heart sure does feel quickly.
Well I hope everything works out for you, and that things move on to happier times