what does it take

besidemyself · #1 08-23-2007, 07:16 PM

My daughter is going through rush this week at a large Texas public university. She had a great experience the first part of the week and after the second round was cut from some of her favorite (who she felt she fit in with) chapters. She now is discouraged because she has been told that what chapters which are left have "bad reputations" on campus. She is going to finish the week with her head held high and her mind open. This is a girl who went to a very academically competitive high school in which she took advanced courses. Her GPA did not reflect the difficulty of the work completed. She also concentrated her extracurricular activities with mission work through her church. Somehow she has gotten the impression that her grades and the fact that she was only involved in church activites were a negative. If I am discouraged, can you imagine what she is feeling. We need some advice.

Army Wife'79 · #2 08-23-2007, 07:44 PM

There are lots of posts in the section "Sorority Recruitment" under the category "Recruitment" in this forum that will be helpful to you. I'm sorry she's having a rough week.

teeroze · #3 08-23-2007, 09:04 PM

Sorry she feels bad. I have been through something similar with my daughter. The large Texas schools are really tough. The sororities are really good. There's not much you can say. Encourage her to stay with it, and look at the 2 that are left to possibly pref.

dvs-dz · #4 08-24-2007, 07:27 AM

Did she have recommendations for each of the sororities? That can be of high importance at Texas universities.

SWTXBelle · #5 08-24-2007, 08:11 AM

Also, beware the idea that the remaining chapters have "bad reputations". In other words, someone offered their opinion that the chapters are somehow not good. It may be true - or it may not. I think she if she judges for herself she will be happier in the long run.
Her grades could have been a hinderance - and the only problem with her mission work I personally could see is if she didn't have any leadership positions, or if it was her sole activity. Having said that - I have NO idea, and no one who was not in the room when membership selection was taking place does, why your daughter was cut. As previously mentioned, there are lots of threads on this board that will discuss the apparently random nature of cuts.
I hope your daughter hangs in there, and finds her home.

adpiucf · #6 08-24-2007, 10:28 AM

Your daughter has nothing to lose and everything to gain by sticking it out through recruitment week.

At the competitive Texas schools, good grades, well-rounded extracurriculars (including community service) and recommendations are a basic "prerequisite" for sorority recruitment. If she is lacking in any of these areas, particularly grades or recommendations, this will account for early cuts, particularly at a school like UT-Austin. SHSU, not so much, due to a less competitive (but just as excellent!) Greek System.

Encourage her to do what she feels is right for her, but to consider all of her options. Is it so important to be a member of "ABC Sorority" that she will forgo sorority membership completely if ABC is not an option for her? At some Texas schools, the rates of return diminish when you rush a second time, or rush as an upperclassman. For many, freshman year is the optimal time to join.

Keep in mind that recruitment is a series of brief first impressions. She may have been cut from sororities that she regarded as her favorites, but she is basing those impressions off of some very brief interactions with only a handful of members of the sorority.

Regarding campus reputation, most college students are at that age where image is everything. Before coming into recruitment, PNMs have been fed opinions as to which sororities are the best. This is nonsense.

There is no evaluative criteria that ranks sororities on a campus. I would not take any fraternity men's opinions seriously, nor the opinions of any of the students, including sorority members to what sorority is the "best." The chapters have between 50-100+ members, depending on the school, and I will guarantee you that those 50 women in any given chapter are not exactly alike, and are not collectively the "best" or the "worst" as a group.

As an example, I would wager that your daughter had the opportunity to join many church groups in high school. She selected the one where she felt most comfortable and stayed there because she liked the people who were there and they liked her. She didn't join it because everyone else said they were the best. She joined because were the best choice for her.

Your daughter should approach the rest of her recruitment in this way. Stick it out and make the choices that will bring her closer to a group of sorority women where she feels like she fits in, both on her best day and on her worst. At the end of the day, she may well determine that a sorority isn't the place for her. Whether or not she joins a sorority, there are plenty of student groups (including non-NPC sororities) where she can find sisterhood and friendship.

Best of luck to you both!

besidemyself · #7 08-24-2007, 09:08 PM

Thank you nice ladies for being so positive in response to my post! My daughter actually did stick it out and received a bid from a house that she felt very comfortable with all week. She is happy, therefore, I am happy. I know she will make some great friends, have a wonderful experience and make a lasting contribution.

honeychile · #8 08-24-2007, 09:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by besidemyself

Thank you nice ladies for being so positive in response to my post! My daughter actually did stick it out and received a bid from a house that she felt very comfortable with all week. She is happy, therefore, I am happy. I know she will make some great friends, have a wonderful experience and make a lasting contribution.

Congratulations to your daughter and to her new sorority home! If your daughter is anything like you say she is, I'm sure that will be the envy of Greek Row by the time she graduates!!

AOII Angel · #9 08-25-2007, 07:04 AM

Tell us which group your daughter pledged! We love to celebrate new sisters regardless of their frequent negative first impressions based on rumor. It's great to dispell the myths.

barbino · #10 08-26-2007, 02:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by besidemyself

Thank you nice ladies for being so positive in response to my post! My daughter actually did stick it out and received a bid from a house that she felt very comfortable with all week. She is happy, therefore, I am happy. I know she will make some great friends, have a wonderful experience and make a lasting contribution.

Congratulations on having your daughter pledge! It's wonderful that you and your daughter are pleased with the outcome of her recent recruitment. But...give us some details, please! This is what we live for on GC - sharing our Greek experiences. I'd love to hear more about how your daughter ended up where she is now.