You Know You were Born/Raised "Black" When...

[TonyB06]

-You know what "no hometraining" means.

-You've told your mother you had a headache and her remedy was to take a crap or some Robitussin.

-You were always able to find a Jet, Ebony, Ebony Jr., or Essence somewhere around the house.

-Your dad had the uncanny ability to wake up just as you were changing the channel and yell "I was watchin' that!" - no matter how quiet you were...


-You fell asleep in your mother's lap while getting your hair cornrowed, woke up, fell back asleep, and woke up again and she still wasn't finished.

-Kool aid was the only "sports drink" you knew...

-You knew about the controversy of the barbershop/beauty shop dialogue way before "Barbershop" or "Beauty Shop" came out.

-Many of the people you grew up calling your aunty, uncle, cousin, sister, or brother have no blood relation to you at all.

-You have the tendency to describe people's complexions in terms of food.

-Your family had Sunday dinners.

-OJ taught you that Black or White doesn't matter. . .So long as you've got green.

-You've been told to stop crying before you got something to cry about.

-Your parents whooped your behind if you wasted food.

-Catfish was a popular meat at your barbeques.

-Your parents told you to not even THINK about asking for toys when you go shopping with them.

-Back-sassing a parent was the last thing on your mind… if you wanted to live.

-You saw your community as part of your extended family.

-Your barbers or hairdressers were your friends.

-You knew ladies who wore big hats to church that you can't see over when sitting down.

-Robitussin was a panacea.

-Food with too little spice was simply unbearable.

-You got baths in the sink as a baby.

-You were told "I'll get mine and forget everyone else" was a terrible mindset.

-As an adult, you still look over your shoulder when you know you're doin' wrong...

-When your white friends talked to their parents, you ducked...

-As an adult, your parents deny ever spanking you...

-You feared your friends’ parents as much as you did your own...

-You know how to drive a car with no brakes, or lights..Or windshield wipers...

-You put hot sauce on everything including macaroni and cheese.

-You compulsively barbecue when the warm weather arrives...

-When someone makes something good to eat, you say things like "You put yo foot in this"

-If you hear your jam you dance despite the location…You could be in the bank, and you would lean and rock with it...(slightly)

-You know about forty eight variations of hand shakes...and you can perform the black combination without training..You know the one which starts by locking thumbs, and then a series of other moves...

-You can make seventy dishes, including spaghetti with ramen noodles.

-You would not be shocked if someone passing in a car shouted out your name without stopping the vehicle...and then you compulsively shout back "Whaddup"

-You almost starve to death from December 26 to March due to your families Christmas shopping debt.

-Even though the neighbor's kid wound up in prison, your auntie makes sure to remind you of how bad you were as a kid because you painted the dog.

-You know what cod liver oil taste like.

-“oohh un hun” is an appropriate response to something you don't like.

-You know what it meant to be told to go get a "switch." And you bet not bring back a sheisty one.

-Sucking your teeth in front of adults ....ummm... bet not happen.

-"good hair and bad hair"

-When James Evans died you actually grieved

-Tremendously loud bass is an acquired musical delicacy.

-Your momma told you to put vaseline on your legs because "it's just like lotion".

-Dessert choices were sweet potato pie or pound cake.

-You were warned not to drink coffee because it made you black.

-Your momma's momma was "Big Mama" and Your dad's momma was "Muh Dea"

-You pronounce AUNT like UNTEE, not ANT

-You could buy frozen koolaid pops and faygo sodas from the back door of an old lady in your neighborhood