Sticky situation with depledged new member

[CrimsonBlues]

I am a very recent alumna of my chapter (obviously, since I haven't yet been able to extricate myself from the kinds of things collegians concern themselves with). I have encountered a sort of sticky situation, and I'm at a loss as to how to proceed. I'm a long time lurker here, and I thought I might come out of the shadows to solicit the advice of all of the knowledgeable ladies who post here.

I recently stumbled across the Facebook profile of a woman who declined a bid from us after formal recruitment in September. This woman signed her bid card and was on our bid list, but absolutely refused to even come to the house on Bid Day. Curiously, she now lists affiliation with one of the other sororities on campus (which happens to be one of the two sororities with which we most often compete for new members). Ours is one of the classic "struggling chapters," though we have experienced some success recently due to a fabulous membership chair who put together an outstanding informal recruitment this past spring (completely immaterial to the issue at hand, but I just felt like bragging on my chapter for a sec ). Obviously, we do not want this woman to be a member of our chapter if she doesn't want to be, but I am puzzled by the fact that the rules seem to have been bypassed to allow her to be involved in one of our "competitor sororities." I have no idea if this woman knew the rules or if the sorority was aware that she signed a bid card, but I do know that our Greek Life office and the full-time staff that it employs managed to overlook this.

As an alumna, I feel silly already for still being involved enough in my chapter to have encountered this information (blame my boring summer job, I suppose). I want to know if I should let it slide, or if I should contact my chapter's membership chair. I know from experience that collegians often resent alumnae (and especially recent alumnae) "telling them how to run the chapter," but I'm concerned about the implications that this event has for our future success. Yes, this is one woman, but who knows how often this has happened in the past, and whether or not it will happen in the future, especially if the sorority knows she had a bid from us and now thinks they can "get away with it?" Perhaps this is because we have a "persecuted chapter" complex, but we often feel as if we are the only ones forced to play by the rules while the rest of the chapters run willy-nilly all over policy (for example, the rho chis look away from the chapter that is known for delivering bottles of wine and roses to preferred pnms the night before pref, reports of dirty rushing that our chapter submits are never followed up on, etc). It is difficult enough for a struggling chapter to turn it around when the rules are followed; nearly impossible when exceptions are made to rules such as these. If this becomes a widely known/accepted practice, what's to stop new members who had intended to stick it out with the chapter they matched with from depledging and seeking a bid to another chapter, or a sorority such as this one from recruiting new members from other chapters if they experience attrition? Not to mention the fact that this is unfair to other women who depledged or did not accept their bids and played by the rules, thereby limiting their options for the following year. I don't necessarily want to punish this woman, as lord knows if she was apprised of this rule or not during recruitment, but I do want to protect our chapter from this in the future.

Basically, the summary of my long-winded post is this: is there any action that is appropriate for me as a recent alumna of my chapter to take that won't make me look obnoxious/stalkerish and won't make my chapter look like whiny losers?